The things that can never be
by Parapo
Summary: "Never talk to them, love them, save them. One wrong move and everything would fall out of balance. But the rules doesn't matter to me because I'm not afraid to give up my immortality just for him..." Angel AU
1. Chapter 1

**alalalalala~~**

* * *

The guitar is resting on my hands, as my fingers strum the strings producing a playful tune. It isn't really a song I'm trying to play, just a random melody from the random notes my fingers press. I'm alone right now, sitting on the edge beside the clock of the Big Ben. There are still minutes left before my work, before I collect what needs to be collected. The souls of humans that are due at 18:00 hours, giving me enough time to enjoy the stringed instrument on my hands. This is one of the few times I could relax. Angels may never feel tired but we do know the feeling of extreme boredom. Who wouldn't? Humans think it's great to be immortal. They don't know the half of it.

My playing suddenly is interrupted when a flying shoe just hit my head, making me pissed at the same time. A face was already inches away in front of me after blinking for a few times. Recognizing who it is, my hands move automatically to pinch the other's nose. "Damn it Gilbert, what's with the shoe?"

"You looked so serious, looking at the horizon with a guitar. Oldies."

"We _are_ old dipshit, we're over a hundred!"

"Doesn't mean we need to act like one. Whatever let's go. Work's waiting…" _I wasn't acting like one! I was being cool! _I meant to tell him that but I'll just keep it to myself, or else I'll never hear the end of how much cooler he is. Standing up, I put the guitar down, not intending on bringing it to work. I wouldn't want that precious thing get in the way. Some souls run away from us and it is hard to chase them since they are very fast at escaping.

Gilbert stretches his arms and his wings follow. They remain hidden in sight unless when needed in use. I do the same, my back curling a little and let my wings free.

Slowly, we jump off the building and glide at the air, feeling the breeze past our cheeks. I am behind Gilbert since I let him lead the way. We are so high up under the clouds making the world beneath us seem so small. The people the same size as us look like ants, the cars only a little bigger than them. Everything is so small, even the establishments. It's like you're peeking on a doll house from the top view.

We land inside the emergency room of some hospital, entering through the window that is open widely enough for our size. Our wings fold back again now hidden in sight once more. The whole room is busy. Nurses and doctors are running around the whole place, cries of children and parents echoed inside out. All of them completely oblivious of our presence as they run here and there. This is where our work will take place.

There are newly brought people here, and most of them are from a car accident that just occurred on the nearby street, a few blocks away. While the others are busy praying, crying, and catching their breath, there are those who are looking our way. Their eyes narrowing to take a better look on us, wanting to see if we're real or just hallucinations. Humans cannot see us unless they're dying or we intentionally make ourselves visible to them. Little do they know that we intentionally came for them.

"You take the children Al, you're better at dealing with them, I'll take the adults." I nod my head before turning on my heels. I walk towards the very last bed on the room where a kid is breathing the lasts of his breath. The sounds of the machines and the doctor's stressed out orders combined with his parents screams, it is almost unbearable. This is why I don't like taking souls in hospitals. You would see people suffering around you. They wouldn't just sit there motionless, quiet and patiently waiting to die.

Hopefully, it doesn't take long. The Heart Monitor beeps flat and slowly I can see the kid's soul rising from his body. He leaps down his bed and watch the people cry for him, watch the doctors try to revive him. Confusion is obvious in his face as his eyes dance back and forth from the people, and to his body. Then at long last he finally considers my presence and asks. "Why is there two of me?"

"That is…your body kid. You are a soul now." I hope that information is enough for an 8 year old.

"Can mommy come?"

"No."

"Why?" He tugs the edge of my shirt, his eyes are looking at me questioningly. "Why can't she come?"

"Because Mommy is still busy, she ain't done with her work yet." The kid pouts. I reach my hand to him, waiting for him to hold it too so we may walk away. But he just shoots it a glare before looking up at me again.

"Mister, are you an angel?" Here we go again with this question. No matter how old the client is, they would never fail to ask me that. Don't I look like an angel to them? I see myself at mirrors and I don't look demonic or monstrous at least. "You do not have wings mister; you're not an angel are you?"

"I am an angel kid." _Can't you see how angelic I look? _His eyebrows are now meeting at the top of his nose, with his eyes looking at my hand bitterly. I think I already know what's going to happen next. Before I even got a hold of his arms, he is already running pass the beds, out the emergency room.

"Alfred! Catch that brat!" I hear Gilbert cry out loud. He doesn't really need to tell me that. I know what to do.

I try my best to catch up on him, the chase isn't suppose to be this hard if it weren't for the numerous rooms he keeps on going through. He goes through walls. We pass the ladies' comfort room but  
I don't have time to enjoy the view really because of the kid. I sigh.

He keeps running, and when I turn on the corner he is already gone. There are only a few rooms for this corridor. Maybe around 6? I walk quietly, hoping to get any sound or voice. I peek my head through doors to see if he's there trying to hide from me. I go from one door and another until I reach the last door. If he isn't here I'm screwed. I take a deep breath before peeking in.

"Are you an angel sir?"

_Gotcha…_ It is the kid's voice. I finally found him. I let my whole body slip through. But he didn't seem to notice my presence. "You look like an angel!"

"Well sorry lad, I'm not." He is having a conversation with a man. A take a few more steps nearer, curious about what's happening. The kid is dead, and yet he's having a proper conversation with him. Does this man know?

"Who's there!" The man's head swung to my direction and now I find myself become mute and frozen. His eyes are directly at mine. Green eyes for the matter. It is so bright like true emeralds, it is the first time I see someone with such eyes. I know it myself that I am taken aback by it.

But what makes me frozen in this spot is that he is looking at me, his eyes straight at my own eyes, when I am not supposed to be seen anyone except of course fellow non-human beings. He could see me and that is something that I should be bothered about.

"Is there someone there? Hello?"

I jump from surprise at the sudden pull of my shirt. I look down and saw the boy below me and looking at me. "Mister, he's blind!" He whispers.

I take those back. He couldn't see me and I also think he couldn't hear me too. I look back at him, his eyes are still in mine and for some reason I could feel my body tense up. He may not see me but he knows I am here. He could feel me. I look away back to the kid who is still looking up at me with pleading eyes, telling me not to take him away yet. I shook my head. "We need to go."

"He's an angel mister; I want to stay with him!" He tells in a whisper. _I'm a freakin' angel too! _I sigh. I frown at him and glance back at the unknown person whose eyes are now on another direction. Gladly he isn't looking our way anymore; I could admire him much more without getting bothered.

This guy has very beautiful eyes, it's a given. _Ridiculously captivating._ His lips are slightly pink and his skin is pale. His eyebrows, well it's not that perfect but it suits him. His expression may be blank but it doesn't ruin anything.

He has a pretty face, angelic. No wonder this kid here mistakes him for an angel. Add wings on his back and he's perfect. I think I will mistake him for one as well.

"He's an angel right? Right?"

But then he's not, and we got to accept that fact. I kneel down face to face with the kid. "No kid, he's not an angel."

"Maybe he is! He is just pretending not to be an angel!" He insists and I shake my head. _Maybe…but no._

The child's grip on my shirt is shaking, he's about to cry I know it. There are soft but audible whimpers beginning to come out of his lips. I am about to speak when _he_ talks suddenly. "Joshua? You're still here, are you crying?"

The kid ran to the edge of the bed, now clutching the sheets. "He said you're not an angel!"

"He?" The guy turns his head to where he could feel the kid's movements and gives a questioning stare.

"Yes, him!" Joshua points at me. "But you _are _an angel! I know it! And I don't want to come with him! I want to come with you! You will bring me to heaven right?"

He freezes for a moment. "Heaven?…" He pauses. "What do you mean?"

"I don't want to come with him. He will not take me to heaven!"

His shoulders calm down immediately after. Has he realized the situation already? He doesn't look afraid though. "I don't know who _he _is but, give him a chance maybe" He speaks of me ."He will definitely take you to heaven because you're a good boy. And then you will see a lot of angels up there and surely they'll take you for a ride in the clouds. You're going to finally feel the cotton like clouds. You're going to love it there!" He smiles. _"Right sir?"_

_What! _He isn't looking at me but I am taken aback from what he said. He really knows I am here, that someone other than them is here. I don't know if I should answer though, also it seems my tongue lost its confidence to speak. The only thing I could do now is nod my head.

"Really?" The child's head perk up to look at him. "They will?"

"Of course they will, because that's what angels do right? They make people happy." Joshua finally smiles again and he runs to my side.

"You will do that won't you?" I look at him without uttering a word and despite me trying my best to focus at the kid (which finally runs to me), my eyes are forcing themselves to return back at _him_. I nod my head without looking back at the little fella and the next thing I know is I'm being pulled out the door by this kid. It's rare for souls to be so eager! This man…This beautiful man in front me…. _He's wonderfully amazing._

We head for the door, and just before I finally leave, I take one last look at him. He isn't looking our way anymore, but thankfully I decide to glance back. He is smiling, looking at particularly nothing with a piece of yellow rose in his hands that I hadn't noticed before. He seems contented and happy. I let a small smile creep in my face as well.

_Thanks…_

* * *

Since that day, I never fail to visit him. Every time I would be free, when there is no work I fly here in his room. I always enter through his window since it's always left open. But there are times when it's close and I have no choice but to enter through the doors.

How many days have I been visiting him? 7 days? Oh wow, a week already. And within this week I had known a lot about him, like his name. His name, I like his name so much. It's Arthur Kirkland. Sounds a bit elegant for me.

Arthur has brothers, and he's in the middle. He gets visitors a few times too. Actually, just a while ago some of his friends came.

He's been blind for 6 years already, and he's currently 23 now. I feel so old being alive for more than a hundred years already. Whatever, it's no big deal.

Arthur loves to read, and his blindness won't stop him. He reads through brails, and there are a pile of books just beside his bed.

* * *

Today as usual, I enter through the window and look for Arthur. But Arthur isn't here. My heart slightly panics when I see his empty bed. Where is Arthur! I immediately go for the door to look for him in this entire hospital. Gosh I don't know what to do when he suddenly disappears like this and I don't find him. I just want, need, to see him.

I am about to touch the door knob but it surprisingly turns and the door opens. I step a few steps back as a nurse rolls in a man on a wheel chair with his eyes covered with bandages. _Pale skin, sandy blonde hair… It's Arthur!_

They slowly put him in bed and I watch the doctors and nurses make sure he feels comfortable. The doctor gives him a few reminders and fe nods his head several times and smiles before the other people go out..

And then there's silence.

"Brother!"

Or not…

A child with blue eyes, and with the same hair as Arthur barges in running straight by his side. "2 more days! 2 more days!" It's his brother.

"Peter! I told you not to run!" Another man enters the room. He's tall, taller than me. He has red hair and green eyes like Arthur. _But no one still can match Arthur's eyes._ It's a pity I can't see them today with those bandages covering them.

"Brother 2 more days!"

They must've operated him.

"And then you will see us!"

I'm right!

Arthur chuckles as the kid approaches his bed. His hands find their way to his brother's hair and ruffles them slightly. "Don't be so sure Peter, it may be a failure."

"No it's not! You're going to see us!" He exclaims. "I'm sure of it! I know it brother!"

Arthur sighs. "I hope so…" And then he turns his head at some part of the room, and it lands on me to surprise. "Brother? Scott are you there?" He feels me again, though he mistakes me for the wrong person.

"You're facing the wrong way, I'm right here."

"Oh…" He turns his head towards his brother's voice. "Please take Peter home now. It's quite late already."

"It's only 3 in the afternoon."

"You can't fool me" Arthur frowns.

"Of course I can't." Scott chuckles and pulls Peter to his side. "Bye then lad. Sleep well."

"Bye bye!" Peter waves at Arthur with glee. "See you in 2 days!"

Arthur lets out a heavy sigh and smiles. "Yeah… 2 days."

The door shuts close leaving Arthur alone in this room, with me.

I remain standing still across his bed. His fingers clutch the sheets and they were slightly shaking. He seems to be nervous about this whole operation. In two days, he'll finally be able to see, but then it's better not get your hopes up. I know he can't help but wish that it's successful.

He slowly leans back his bed and remains motionless. I think he fell asleep already. His breathing is calmer now and his hands had stopped from shaking. His lips are slightly apart and his breath escapes smoothly. He must be tired after the operation.

I approach his bed and sit on his side. I observe his chest rise up and down slowly. His skin is paler than before, must be from exhaustion. This is not the first time I see him sleeping, but it always makes me want to touch his sleeping form. My hands always find their way in his cheeks to feel his warmth. His skin is so smooth. He looks like a doll.

I lean down to put my nose in his hair and inhale his scent. He smells like roses, so sweet and hard to pull away from despite his long stays here in the hospital. I close my eyes and let myself drown in the scent of roses.

_Oh god, Arthur…._

"Who are you?" My eyes open and I sat up with my legs ready to make a run at any moment. "Hello?"

I bite my lips. I want to answer him, I want to talk to him. I want him to hear my voice. Will I let him? Will I let myself be heard? But without answering my own question my mouth opens and I introduce myself.

"I'm Alfred."

There, I said it. Now what? Do I fly away now?

"Alfred? I don't know any Alfred. Have we met before?."

"No we haven't."

He didn't ask any more questions after and remained quiet once again. Somehow I don't want everything to end yet. I scratch my head as I think for any topic. Any would do, I still want to hear him more. I've already started this so why not make the most out of it? "Aren't you gonna ask me why I'm here?"

His head perks up. "Why? Aren't you a nurse?"

"No I'm not."

"Then why are you here?"

What am I suppose to answer now? I made him ask a question I am not really prepared to answer. A question that I actually am not supposed to answer. Do I lie? Do I have the guts to lie to Arthur?

"I am a visitor and uh, got lost and then I ended up here?" Hope that'll do.

"That's a lie isn't it?" I didn't work. He's good at knowing lies from truths. He needed to know lies from truths given his situation. You may never know if a person is already taking advantage of you. It's hard to be blind… I feel bad suddenly.

"Yes it is, sorry."

Arthur laughs a little at me. "So honest…" He stops and relaxes down his pillow. "So, may I know the truth now _Alfred_?" My name slides from his lips smoothly. I like it, I like it how he says it and now I'm beginning to like my name even more…

But back to my problem. He's asking for the truth now. I have no idea how to answer this question! Lying will not do any good.

_I am here because I like you Arthur._

No way, absolutely no way I would tell him that. Dear me, what do I say? What do I tell him?

"I like your eyes. I was passing by one day and then I saw your eyes and it's kinda rare for me to see those eyes with that colour and I come here again to see it!" Words spill out very fast like a machine gun. I tell him that without thinking.

Great, he must think I'm a freak now.

His jaw drops slightly and he didn't say anything. It's like he's still trying to process everything that I've said in his mind. Or maybe he just got scared and thinks I'm a total weirdo! He opens his mouth to speak but I'm afraid of what he might say so I speak again before he could say anything."Don't worry I'm not a stalker or a freak or anything! Damn… You're mad now aren't you?"

He's silent again. I feel totally wasted now. Maybe it was better not to talk to him. I look up the ceiling, hoping this would end pleasantly.

Then I hear laughter.

Arthur's laughing making me confused. What could make him laugh at a time like this?

"Please lad, I'm not mad don't worry."

"You're not? Really?"

"Really. I'm sorry if you thought I was. I frown a lot." I let out a sigh of relief. I was already planning on flying away and let him wonder what just happened on his own. I was about to make this appear all but a dream to him.

"So I can come back here?" I ask with excitement. I know I'm not supposed to but if only for a short while I guess I'm not harming anyone.

"Sure you can Al." I throw a punch in the air and thank him. He laughs once again as if he knows what I just did. That laugh of his really warms my heart.

I would love to stay a little bit longer in his company and talk to him more, but I could sense he's already tired and sleepy. He must be trying his best not to fall asleep because of me. How considerate of him. My heart feels heavy just by thinking I will leave him already.

"Arthur… I need to go now. But I'll be back promise!"

He chuckles.

"Of course. I'll be waiting."

I stand up and walk towards the door. Passing through the window would be suspicious. He's floor is like, far up from the ground. No one would dare climb out from the window.

When I open the door, Arthur suddenly calls me out again. I willingly turn around. "What is it Artie?"

"I..." He sighs as if in hesitation to say what he's been meaning to. "Alfred... My eyes, they're green right?"

I smile at him. "Yes they are..." _They're the most beautiful green ever..._

He smiles too. his usual sweet smile I grew fond off. "I see. I was afraid I wouldn't see the same eyes if ever..." He runs his hand on his bandages. "They're the only thing that my mother left me with... My only remembrance." His mother? She must be the reason for Arthur's angelic face.

He looks at my direction. "Anyway... Thank you."

"No worries." I say. "Goodbye Arthur."

.

.

"Goodbye Alfred."

* * *

**Dun dun dun!**

**I don't know what I just did but I hope you liked it~ (^_^)**

**Suggestions and criticism are very much welcome! dayum~**


	2. Chapter 2

**yey! Took me some time to type and think... thanks for the favourites and alerts \(n_n)/**

* * *

A lot of things happened fast that I myself take notice from time to time. Also, with these fast happenings I am able to feel something close to happiness that seem to grow more every day. Many has noticed this too, that I eagerly finish my work on time, quick and fast. They ask me the reason for this but my answer remains a secret to them, hidden by smile.

But something's bothering me now, something that just can't be erased from my brain; the image of a certain someone with a look of pain in his eyes that he's been trying to cover up with a smile.

_Slowly and carefully, the doctor removes the bandages wrapped in his eyes. Arthur grips the sheets of his bed with his trembling hands which I secretly put my own hands on. The shaking lessens much to my relief. At least even without him knowing I'm there, he could feel that someone is with him now. The other two people in the room besides the doctor and the nurse, his two brothers remain silent across his bed. Everyone's breath is as heavy as metal, even mine._

_And then finally the unwrapping is over and every one's breathing seems stop._

"_Okay Arthur, slowly open your eyes." The doctor whispers._

_Arthur nods his head and complies. He bites hi lips and slowly, he opens his eyes and feels like forever is taking until those green emeralds are completely open. He blinks a few more times and shuts them quickly with his fists clenching hard once more._

"_It's okay Arthur. Try again." The doctor pats him in his shoulder as a sign of encouragement, and also like letting him know everyone is here for him. So Arthur tries again to open them. He opens them a little bit slower this time. Peter is biting his nails already, his older brother Scott holds just sits on a vacant chair biting his lips. _

_Everyone watches as Arthur tries to move his eyes around the room and everyone is beginning to smile, taking it as a sign he could already see. The doctor himself is getting all excited. Everyone exchange glances at each other. I stay still beside him, praying like everyone else._

"_Arthur? Tell me what you can see." He asks with anticipation. It takes time before Arthur replies._

"_Doctor?" He asks quietly._

"_Yes?"_

"_Are the lights closed?"He asks with his lips trembling. The nurse gives the doctor a nervous look, her hold on the steel tray obviously grew firmer. This is of course noticed by Scott, their eldest. He pulls peter close to him, knowing what is going to happen next. Knowing that everything isn't going to be the way they anticipated it to be. I also know it deep inside me, everything that's going to happen next is not desirable._

_The doctor is about to say something when Arthur begins to speak again. He starts with a heavy sigh. _

"_Goodness, I'm trying to fool myself." He chuckles lowly which is rather out of place in this silent room. "I still cannot see Doctor." His eyes are already threatening to shed tears but they never fall out. "There's only darkness in my vision."_

_With this, his brothers rush to his side, their youngest crying already as he pulls Arthur's face at his own. "You're lying! You could see me right!"_

"_No I can't Peter, I'm sorry." He denies without hesitation making Peter burst out and cry on his lap. His tears making the sheets wet. Scott tries to calm down their crying brother and looks at Arthur with sad eyes._

"_Are you sure Arthur? Now even a hint of light?" Arthur shakes his head with a calm smile. Scott sighs and carries Peter who doesn't stop crying. _

_I look back at Arthur and that damn smile of his. His lips are trembling but his smile remains intact. His eyes are threatening with tears but they never come out. I look at the doctor who is gazing outside the window with a very disappointed look. The nurse patting the doctor's back with the same face. _

_The room is heavy with negative emotions and Arthur knows this even without seeing their faces. His hands grip the sheets tighter as he try to say words that may comfort everyone. 'It's okay.' He says, 'Everything is okay. It's not like everything's going to change.' He tries to cheer everyone up without giving in to his own emotions. This is too much to bear._

_As the others try to comfort themselves, I lean down at Arthur and I wrap my arms around him._

A flying shoe hits me at the back of my neck disturbing my thoughts. I don't really need to guess who it's from. I rub the part where it hit me even though it isn't very painful. A boisterous laughter echoes as it hit the walls here under the bridge. There's only one and only angel who is fond of shoe throwing laughing like that, one wouldn't believe he actually is a heavenly being. I am just about to turn my head around when a hand hits my back pretty hard it makes me lean forward.

"Hey there Fred! It's rare to see you under bridges! I thought you like high places? Or maybe you like water?"

"This is for work. Someone's gonna fall here any minute now."

"Fall! Suicide or accident?" He asks casually while he wears his shoe again. We know how sad this thing is but it's not like we can do anything about it. Also it's not the first time this happens.

"Suicide. Another idiot wants to end his pretty life."

"Totally not awesome." I nod my head in agreement. _It has never been awesome._

Just then, a bang is heard coming from way up and the shrieks of people follows. The loud sirens coming from police cars hurt my ears. People stare down from up the bridge as the watch a man's body falls. It is facing us that we are able to see his gruesome expression. Gilbert can't help but cover his mouth and I look away until I hear the splash of water. I bite my lips and slowly watch the man's body float with blood staining the crystal clear liquid. His soul slowly rises up from the body. He takes a look at himself, at his body and smiles freakishly. How dare he smile? He has committed a grave sin and yet he can still manage to smile like that, and then a chuckle of what seems to be satisfaction escapes his mouth.

"Unbelievable, I can't stand this." Gilbert sighs and turns his back. He puts a hand on my shoulder. "Sorry Alfred." His wings appear and he takes off, leaving me alone to bear with my work.

I look at the man whose eyes can't seem to look away from his own bloodied figure. "Hey you." I call his attention. He turns his head at me and stares with his smile already out. "Let's go." I say.

He stares at me for a few seconds before he speaks. "What are you? You don't look like the devil to me." He says with a tone of amusement. "Or maybe you're Satan in disguise? Because I see no fucking reason why I should go up there." He laughs again. "So? What are you up to?"

"It doesn't matter." I answer quickly, wanting this to end very soon. "Let's go."

"Where are you taking me? Hell?" He chuckles. What is wrong with this man?

I keep a blank face, a frown, hoping that he gets that there is nothing funny about this. I tell him with a low voice, "Obviously you're going down." He walks towards me with that annoying smile appearing again, and stands beside me.

"You must be wondering why I'm happy about this." I did not say anything. "My wife is in hell you know, for sure. I just caught her cheating on me this morning, with that ugly co-worker of his." He pauses and frowns. "Damn if you just saw how they lie on top of each other, naked." He chuckles. "So I killed her. Her only though. I didn't kill that son of a bitch because I wouldn't want him to be following my wife even in hell." He speaks like he's just talking about the weather.

I didn't want to hear any more of his story. What I unwillingly listened to is enough. I face him and bring my hand to his forehead and bright light envelopes him. Soon he becomes light himself. A small ball of light floating within my hands. Its light is faint; very faint which means the person died with a heavy heart. He looked happy when he knew he died with a hope of seeing his wife again, but I could feel his sadness with my touch. How pitiful.

I crouch down and let my wings unfurl on my back and I fly away with a heavy heart.

* * *

I can't take away the image of the man. He is the only soul assigned to me for this day so I am not able to make my mind focus on something else. I think about Arthur, it's actually about time that I visit him but I'm not sure if I can go there with this heaviness inside me. He'll probably notice that I'm not feeling very happy at the moment. He knows me pretty well now after my everyday visits. But of course he still has no clue to what I truly am.

My current state wouldn't help him also. It's not going to be nice to visit him while feeling bad, knowing how disappointed he is for the failed operation. He still cannot see, he's still inside the trap of darkness. I saw his face that time. But I sigh in defeat. Even with these in mind, I after all can't help myself from visiting Arthur. I just really need to see him now. My mind seems to tell me that the sight of him will make everything feel a little better.

The wind is a little chilly this afternoon unlike the past days. Autumn is approaching slowly but you could feel the changes just through the breezes. I close my eyes and glide swiftly through the air making myself faster. I really want to see him now.

When I reach the hospital, I fly at his window only to find it close. They must've shut it to prevent the chilly wind from entering. I peek through the glass to see if Arthur's busy with anything. A book is on his lap with his fingers moving slowly across the small holes. Brails. I smile. I'm sure Arthur wouldn't mind being bothered this afternoon.

I always pass using the door of his room whether the window is open or not. It is for him not to have any suspicions or what so ever. I fly lower and until I touch the ground. My wings fold back and enter the glass doors of the hospital, finding my way up to where I am going.

I gently knock on the door but I don't wait for Arthur to respond to it. I just push it open and enter, then shut it quietly and break the silence with a quiet Hi.

"Alfred?"

"Hiyah. Hope you don't mind me bothering you." I walk near him and he shuts the book. His head perks up to me, knowing where exactly I am.

"You know I'll never mind it." He chuckles and tries to place his book at the small bedside table. He reaches for it and touches at random places, hoping to find an empty spot on top of the wooden table."Let me." I just take the book from his hands though seeing his difficulty.

"Oh, thank you."

"No problem."

"Are you feeling all well now?" I ask though I'm in no position to say it. He nods his head with a smile. Arthur knows I'm talking about his eyes. I couldn't help asking, I just want reassurance that he's fine.

"Of course I am. It's been three days since. You keep asking the same question." He laughs at me.

"I can't help it." _Especially after seeing how desperate you were in stopping your tears. _

"Right… Now how about I throw the question back at you?" He raises a brow. "Are you feeling fine?"

"Of course. " I reply quickly trying to look happy at least,

"Of course." He says with suspicion and sighs then doesn't say anything afterwards. With the look on his face that's challenging me to speak up and tell him whatever it is on my mind. There's no saying no to that look. I just decide to tell him. Though in a different way…

"Hey, you know what?" I finally start off. "There was a cat a while ago!"

"A cat?" He blinks and I continue to talk.

"Yes! A cat! And… The cat standing up at the branch of a tree. A very tall tree."

"Let me guess.. You saved the cat." I pause for a moment and shake my head.

"No. I can't save the cat. So it fell."

"Oh…" He frowns slightly. "That's not nice."

"You know what else is not nice?" I ask, and he shakes his head. "The cat doesn't want to be saved."

He remains silent, urging me to continue. "And the cat looks very happy when he fell. But I know he's not." And then I whisper. "The worst part is I can't do anything to save the poor cat."

Even with a story like that, Arthur is not an idiot, and he could clearly understand what I am trying to say.

He raises a hand and attempts to touch me. His hand lands on my chest and then slowly climbs up to touch my face. He reaches my cheeks and Arthur sighs, then I see his lips curve into a very tiny smile. "Thank god, I thought you were crying."

I lean towards his warmth and chuckle. "It's not like crying will solve anything." It's not going to change anything. I've seen so many people come and go to face their fate in the afterlife. This is just one of those unfortunate moments. I was able to stop myself from getting carried away before, and I can very well stop it now. But even though, no matter how long I have been doing this work, I never get use to the feeling of loneliness and pity.

Arthur withdraws his hand and I feel cold again so I take a hold of it and pull it back to my cheek. He gasps at the sudden pull. "Please don't pull away just yet…"

"Alright…"

His eyes look straight at me, not really in my eyes though. Just plain straight. I could sense a great amount of worry just by looking at them, and just by feeling his hands tremble slightly from time to time. I feel pathetic for making a human worry about me. And not just any human… I'm making Arthur worry about me, the one who is supposed to be strong after all these years of living.

"Do you mind if I stay here longer for today?"

"Remember me saying I'll never?"

I laugh and hold his hand firmer. "Thank you. You're the best."

* * *

"You're too happy today."

I turn my head and see another angel flying towards my direction. He reaches me and flies side by side with me. His white hair reflects the yellow gleam of the sun.

"I've always been too happy." I say without looking at him. "Aren't you just the same Ivan? I think your smile stays on your face longer than mine does."

"That was before, until you became too happy." He chuckles. "I wonder why Alfred... I wonder why." There is something in the way he says it that make my body shudder involuntarily. I don't hate Ivan, but he scares me everytime he talks like _that. _It's like he knows something about me that the others don't, and that something will surely be not good. Then my mind makes Arthur pop out of nowhere and I feel nervous because _that something _could be Arthur. it can only be him.

"There are more better things to think about rather than me you know. I suggest you go find something else to be curious on." I smile at him and speak in the friendliest manner. I hope he agrees to it.

"With what you said, I just became a lot more curious with the reason of your happiness." He laughs and flies away without me able to say something back.

I stop flying and stop in mid-air as I watch the other angel disappear from my sight. Only then that I am able to breath fine once again. There was tension that filled the air the moment he spoke about me. I am now left here to wonder if I should take those words of his as a threat, as a warning or anything that would make me more observant in my surroundings. Especially when visiting Arthur. What if he saw me once when I was visiting? And right now maybe he knows where I am heading to...

_ Whatever this means is not good..._

I turn around and fly back to the opposite direction. My visit for today needs to be postponed. I'll just come up with a reason for not being there today.

* * *

**Shorter chapter than the first...**

**Reviews are like ice creams with an oreo on top. XD**


	3. Chapter 3

**finally! has net again XD**

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My head rests above my one arm on top of the bed on one side facing Arthur, the other hand busy drawing circles and any other forms on the sheets. I just lay here, contented and enjoying myself as Arthur's fingers play with my hair. He tangles them, untangles them, then out of curiosity he pulls my rebelling cowlick making me gasp and flinch.

"Oops, sorry." My head perks up as he pulls his hands back, his touch lingering and my head feels uncomfortable without it.

"Ah, don't stop. It's okay." He nods his head and continues to run his fingers at my hair again and I go back to the comfortable position I had been for half an hour already. There isn't much talking for today though. We would talk about something and the topic immediately dies down with a nod of a head or with a chuckle. I don't know how it started it like this. When I entered his room I immediately sat in this chair and lay my head down beside him. His fingers suddenly found amusement in my hair and they stayed there. Arthur even asked me what shampoo I am using for having such soft hair. I just laughed and threw the question back at him which caused him to touch his own hair. But then he shook his head and insisted that mine's better and the hair playing continues.

"Alfred?"

"Hm?"

"I know it's kind of late to ask this but…" He hesitates for a moment. "May I ask how you look like?"

"Why?" I ask him with full curiosity and he shrugs.

"I just want to know, just want to have an idea. I just want to see a new image in my head. The faces that are in here are still from the people I met 6 years ago." He smiles. "They just keep on repeating, nothing new." I remain quiet, thinking of how to describe myself to Arthur clearly. The silence though makes him shift a little and he speaks to brush off his question. "If you don't want to it's okay."

"It's not that I don't want to." I quickly reply. "It's just that, I don't know _how._" I laugh and he wonders why I laugh at my words. Well, it's funny because after living for many years and seeing myself more than a thousand times in the mirror, I still have no idea how to describe myself.

"Don't know how? And here I was thinking you'll start off with, 'I look like Superman' or something like that."

We both laugh, the sounds filling up the room's walls.

"How about you ask questions and I answer?" I offer and he nods his head.

"Good idea." He closes his eyes as he thinks for a question. When he came up with one he opens them again. "Hair colour?"

"Blonde, but a lot more yellowish than yours."

"Eyes?"

"Blue."

"Like the sky?" He asks with a bit of enthusiasm. I look out the window to take a look and to convince myself that they indeed are like the sky. I nod my head after.

"Yup, like the clear blue sky."

"Sweet, I love the sky. You must be very handsome then." I feel my cheeks heat up with the compliment. Luckily Arthur can't see it.

"I just told you my eye colour." I whisper as I try to nuzzle my head on the sheets.

"Enough for me. It doesn't seem like it but I have a nice imagination going on here." He laughs and points at his head. "And somehow, the things running inside turns out to be true at times."

"I see. Well thanks anyway." It has been a long, long while since someone told me such words.

"Proceeding, what's your height?"

_I don't know._ I've never checked on my height, as in never. Or maybe I did but I can't remember anymore. "I'm pretty tall; I think you're just a little above my shoulder."

"I see." He sighs, "I'll never grow any taller than this." His hands stop their movements for a few seconds, I thought he's going stop. I am about to ask him to continue when his fingers move again, and I relax again in his touch. He continues to ask me. "So, what are you wearing?"

I don't know why I take a quick glance at myself. I've been wearing the same clothes for more than a century. "Plain white pants, plain white sleeveless shirt and uh… white leather shoes." _Lie. _I'm not wearing any shoes. Barefoot. All angels are barefooted, except for Gilbert. He likes shoes very much even if he throws them almost every time.

"White all over eh?"

"Yeah, all white everyday!"

"For work?"

"Yup!"

"What's your work anyway?" Oh, didn't see that question coming. Quite careless of me. _Think Alfred! Think, think, think…_

"Collector." _That should do it!_ "I'm a collector." It's not a lie so it's okay. He seems to ponder on it for a moment. I grip the sheets, waiting for him to speak again. _Please ask something else now!_

"I don't know what to ask anymore… Let me think…" His fingers stop again and only resumes when he has thought of something already. "Favourites! Favourite food?"

"Uh, burgers?" I've tasted burgers before and there's no denying how good burgers are.

"Favourite drink?"

"Coffee!"

"Favourite colour?"

Now that is the easiest question so far. I straighten up and he gives some kind of questioning look to why I suddenly change positions. I grin and lean close to his face to meet his eyes and I make sure he feels my breath. "Recently," I pause with a smile. "It has been _green…_"

"Green?" He repeats in a whisper, obviously he knows how close I am to him. "Why green?"

I open my mouth to answer, but before any words come out the alarm clock on top of the bedside table rings. We both jump from surprise. The ringing is rather loud. I snap out of the web produced by Arthur's hypnotic eyes. Actually I would never realize I was already in some sort of trance if it isn't for the alarm clock.

_4:00 pm…_I stand and press a button behind the noisy thing to shut it up. Arthur sighs. "Thank you."

"It's nothing. Why do you have an alarm clock anyway?"

"It's for me to know the time. I'm due to drink some pills for my headache. It keeps on going back ever since I was operated."

"Headache? Goodness, are you feeling alright as of now? Am I being a bother?" I ask with panic. How can be so oblivious to Arthur's condition? I come here every day and I don't even notice him feeling the pain! How pathetic I am!

He raises his hand in a halting gesture. "No, no! Don't worry I'm fine, the headaches rarely came, I believe it's going to be completely gone in a few days." He says with worry, worrying about me worrying about him.

"That's good news." I look at the clock again; the hands didn't seem to move though except for the thinnest one who counts the seconds. I've been here earlier than I should be, now I must leave here earlier than my usual visits. Work is waiting for tonight and I wouldn't want someone to catch me spending time here with Arthur. I still need to go somewhere else and not come directly from here to work. It's better to be careful than sorry.

I clear my throat to break the short silence. "Well, I guess this is it for today. I'll be back in another 2 days time! Work's getting a little harder." _2 days… Dear god that's pretty long…_

"Oh, about that…"

"Hm?"

"I'll be leaving the hospital tomorrow afternoon…" His head lowers, his fingers playing with the sheets covering his thighs. "I mean, I'm going home."

My eyes widen, I never expected this. Why did I not expect this? "Why are you going home?"

"I have no reason to stay here anymore Al…"

I sit down and put my hands on each of his shoulders. "But, what about your eyes? Don't tell me you've given up on them!"

"Bollocks. I've never given up on them but… I think I've hoped enough." He touches one of my hands and rubs them with his fingers. "Also, I'm already contented with my life." He smiles without raising his head up.

"What? Arthur you know-"

"I've already made a decision. I'm going home tomorrow. I've had enough of tests and operations and headaches." He laughs. "I'm better without those."

I sigh. Arthur sounds determined already, really determined and there is nothing that I can do about it. It's quite sad though, because we already made memories here in this very room and honestly I want this kind of thing to stay longer.

"Well, I guess this is the last time I'll be seeing you…" He speaks and his voice wavers around the word 'seeing' then laughs at the irony. I feel heavy all too. Every time I visit him and then the time to leave comes, I've always anticipated the next day to come as fast as it can… Now I think I'm begging for more time.

And then I thought, this may not be the last time. Everything would just depend on how determined I am. I have wings for goodness' sake! I could fly wherever I want!

"Where will you be staying at?"

"At my brother's apartment."

"Is that far?"

"They say it's just an hour away from here."

My smile comes back and a sigh of relief escapes me. "I think I'll still be seeing you then." A giant question mark appears on his face. I smile.

"I mean, if it's just an hour away then it's pretty near. Not anywhere I can't go."

* * *

I fly just right above the cars. Even with the sun high up in the sky, I produce no shadow. It's a smooth ride; there are no occasional red lights or pedestrians crossing the road so don't need to stop often. There are not stop signs or any other signs that may cause for the cars to slow down. Luckily I have powerful wings and I could glide through the air, equally to how fast the car is. The wind touches me coldly and I could feel my hair ride with it. It's gonna be a mess later. Scott is very fast at driving. It's a wonder how come he doesn't get caught for exceeding the maximum speed limit.

When the road is clear, and the other cars are at a distance, I swoop down side by side with the car just to take a glance at Arthur, who is currently sleeping. His head resting on the window at the front seat. His lips slightly open and as always he looks very angelic. I tap the glass to see he would awake but I got no reaction. Not even a twitch in his eyes.

A lot more turns and tunnels and overtakes, the car finally reaches its destination. We enter an open parking lot, and Scott parks it in the nearest vacant space from the entrance. My wings fold back as I land and wait for them to get down. I peek inside the car, Scott is trying to wake up his brother by tapping his shoulder but Arthur didn't even stir. He even tried pinching the other's nose but nothing happens. He's sleeping heavily right now. Scott's attempts stop and I wait for what he has in mind. Is he just going to carry him up stairs? I turn around and let my head rise just to see how tall the building is. And damn it is very tall, maybe around more than 50 floors? High-rise condominium.

I hear the car's doors open and shut close. When I turn around, Arthur's already being carried at the back of his brother like a child, still sleeping. Scott doesn't seem to mind; in fact he looks happy (which is kinda rare) as they walk away. I trail not far behind them and can't help but feel jealous. Maybe someday I'll get to carry Arthur like that too.

It's a boring trip here in the elevator and is kinda freaky too. Everywhere you look, you'll see yourself because of the mirrors. But I don't see my reflection, we don't have reflections. I smile when I see Arthur's. He moves his hands a little but he does not wake. There are people who come in and out. Some shoots the brothers a sweet gentle smile, others look at them with suspicion and bad eyes which makes Scott shoot them a glare. If weren't for sleeping Arthur, maybe he would've shouted at them and tell them to sod off. He can't help but grit his teeth. Some just completely ignores them and gets on with their own lives.

To keep myself busy, I just watch the numbers increase as the elevator goes up.

_23…24…25…..37….38…42…._

A small 'ding', like a sound of a bell signals that we are already on the right floor. The doors open and we step out to be met by empty corridors and many, many doors. There are a few paintings on the wall and some vases, tall vases someone has to watch out for just in case.

Scott stops in front of a room and opens it by sliding his key on the knob. It instantly opens. I quickly slip in before the door finally shuts.

"Arthur! Brother!" A familiar child's voice coming emerges from the room followed by the child itself. "Brother you're here!"

"Shh! Can't you see he's sleeping?"

"Oh…" Peter walks to see Arthur's face. "I already arranged his bed, put him there." He says like an adult. I don't know how old he is, but I think he's already 9 or 10.

"I know what to do twit." His brother rolls his eyes and sets off for the room and I eagerly follow.

"I'll prepare snacks!" Peter shouts before Scott closes the door shut without answering.

Scott didn't bother turning on the lights as he laid Arthur gently on the bed. The room isn't pretty big but it's spacious enough. The bed is near a big glass window, only a little space between, enough for people to go the sides. Scott pulls the blinds up allowing the warm afternoon sunlight in. The whole place is carpeted which would never make your feet cold. There's a table beside the bed with a small lamp. Beside the lamp is a small cute alarm clock, shapes like star and then small pocket books are piled up neatly beside it. _Book of crossword puzzles, Ballad of Dead ladies, The Misanthrope… _Heard of it, never read it…

He removes Arthur's shoes and socks then places them on the small shoe rack below the cabinet beside the door. He also removes Arthur's brown coat and hung it at the back of the door leaving only a black polo. He walks back and pulls the blanket up to his brother's chin. Arthur stirs sideways facing his brother who freezes for a minute, afraid he might have disturbed him. When Arthur makes no move after it, he continues tucking him down and arranging the pillows and sheets until he's satisfies that Arthur's feeling comfortable. I just observe everything on the other side of the bed, seeing how Scott cares much for his brother. With every move and action, I can clearly see how much he loves him. As a brother of course. He may always look grumpy at times and he looks like doesn't care about anything but in reality, when no one can see him, his sweet, calm and caring side appears.

He sits beside him, an arm supporting his weight and he watches Arthur sleep in peace. His breathing in a slow and steady rhythm. His face looks calm, a sign he's not having any nightmares.

There's just silence in the room for a few moments before he says something in a whisper. "You've been through a lot eh?" He pauses as if he's expecting an answer. Now a smile spreads on his face. The orange light streams in illuminating half of his solemn face. "I'm sorry I can't do anything…" His hand brushes off some of Arthur's hair away from his face. "6 years of nothingness … I'm jealous on how strong you are little brother..." He touches Arthur's hair and strokes it carefully not to disturb him.

I could feel the heaviness in every word along with his emotions. His shadow looms over the bed as the sun lowers down, its light turning redder… "Brother! Food's done!" Peter's shout could be clearly heard here inside. Scott sighs and leans down to kiss Arthur's forehead. He whispers. "Sweet dreams Art…" He stands up and leaves the room.

"Belt up!" I hear Scott shout after closing the door gently. That leaves me alone with Arthur once again.

"Hey no smoking inside the house! Brother will get mad!"

"Bloody hell Peter he's asleep!"

"He'll smell it later!" I hear the siblings small fight outside which is rather loud. I look back at Arthur and sighs when he it doesn't look like he's being disturbed. I sit where Scott was sitting a while ago and positioned myself in the same way he did, admiring Arthur... Observing every bit of him. I notice the dark circles under his eyes. He must not have gotten any goodnight sleep yesterday.

"_You've been through a lot eh?" _Scott's words can't get out of my mind. What lot was he talking about? There is more to discover about him and I know that, but how deep do I still have to dig just know it? I can't help but be curious. I want to know every little thing about him. The 'lot' Scott was talking about couldn't be very good, and just the idea of Arthur suffering makes me feel heavy. No one deserves to suffer, especially not Arthur.

* * *

**Must. Win. In. Tetris... ..**


	4. Chapter 4

** Massive thanks to everyone who reviewed and for the alerts and faves~**

* * *

"Is this good? Yeah, this is good."

"What's the point of asking me when you answered your own question?"

"I wasn't particularly asking you Gilbert." I laugh as I agree with the woman beside me earning a glare from Gilbert. I raise my hand in defence and my laughter dies.

This here, her name is Elizabetha, very beautiful lady. Quite older than us by half a century I think.

She picks another flower in her hands and puts it in her basket along with the other pretty flowers she has picked a while ago. There are Daisies, Tulips, Roses, and many more that I don't know but is just as beautiful as the others with their own unique colours and shapes. This is Paradise, the garden of life… In here you would find every rare flower, tree, and animal. In this place, the flowers never die, there is only spring, never any season comes. Birds of different kinds flock in here, every colour you could think of, we have it here. There's a fresh water lake containing hundreds of colourful fishes and other water beings. The sun is always bright, and the moon is always full when night comes. Angels gather here sometimes for relaxation, some for meetings and gatherings, and little parties.

"Are you saying you were talking to yourself? You've gone crazy, woman."

"Please don't address me like I'm some old woman." She says pissed.

"But you _**are **_old!"

Elizabetha gasps at this. "What did you say?"I slowly inch away from Gilbert, knowing what's going to happen next. He just set thecoals burning, and now has fanned the flame. And with the way his body stiffen, I'm sure he just realized what he said, slowly he stands up with a nervous laugh.

"Well I think it's time to leave now… Right Alfred?" He walks towards me with his eyes telling me to nod my head. Elizabetha is slowly inching behind him already. I smirk.

"Why Gil? It's too early to leave yet." I say, trying to suppress my laugh as I lay down the grass completely care free. He hisses under his breath.

"Alfred! It's late!" He turns his head and when he sees her ready to pounce, he wasted no time in curling up his wings and taking off. Unfortunately for him though, she is fast. Without even getting to fly high away, his feet are immediately in Elizabetha's firm grasps causing him to kiss the ground.

"Oh you're not going anywhere!" She pounces on him. I laugh at what I'm seeing. This is not something new but it always is amusing and would never fail to make me laugh, make anyone laugh. Even the angels who are poker-faced all the time manages to laugh every time the two would act like cats and dogs. Sometimes I wonder, are these two really angels? Well, I'm not in the position to talk either.

She sits at Gilbert's back with both his arms twisted. "I was wondering, what did you call me?"

"I didn't call you anything!"

"You're an angel and you dare lie!" Elizabetha pulls Gilbert's arm making him cry in pain.

"Ah! Damn Alfred help me out here!"

I shake my head and wave him off. "Sorry Gil, you should've watched your words."

"What did you call me again? Answer me you lying angel!" Gilbert looks at me again. Our eyes communicating with each other. I know what he's telling me, and I nod my head. Elizabetha calls him a liar, but what she wants to hear from him is another pretty white lie.

He takes one deep breath before speaking fast. "You're a pretty young outgoing carefree hip cheerful woman."

She stops pulling his arms and he sighs in relief. Elizabetha raises a brow. "I'm sorry? What again?"

"I said…" He breaths and speaks slower. "You're a pretty, young, outgoing, carefree, hip, and cheerful woman. Oh god we love you so much." He adds and finishes with a gulp. Elizabetha sighs and pulls his arms strongly again making him shout before getting off him. "You didn't even feel pity on me!" He tells me. He crawls towards me, his eyes darting back to her and quickly he looks away with a shudder.

"So, where was I? Oh, there…" She says in a playful way. Elizabetha sits on her spot from a while ago and begins filling her basket again, humming a soft unfamiliar tune.

"You've gotta learn from what you saw." Gilbert whispers as lay beside me. "Never, as in _never_! Tell a lady she's _old…_"

"Dude, you should tell yourself that, I know that already. This is not the first time you called her old."

"Well dude, I can't help it." We both laugh, but Gilbert tells me to shut up instantly and looks at Elizabetha. "Low and quiet… We wouldn't want another wave of girly issues."

I laugh quietly. "Of course."

"Full!" She stands up making Gilbert flinch and raise his guard. I sit up and watch her poke the flowers and I couldn't help but be curious.

"Hey Liz, what're they for?"

"Oh! It's for a chapel down there. The abandoned one, you know that?" I shake my head. "Aw, such a shame. The chapel's really nice you know! And well…"

"Well?" Gilbert sits up too. "Well what?"

"There's someone who is buried there… That someone has been one of the souls I fetched before."

"If it's already fetched then why do you still need to put flowers there? Besides, you said the place is already abandoned."

"It's not for the soul you idiot. It's for his living wife!" My head perks up.

"You showed yourself to his wife!" I ask with my voice rising a bit. Gilbert's face look panicked. "She could see you? You talk to her!" He asks as well.

"NO! No! That's against the rules! I can't let her see me I can't talk to her even if I wanted to, and you guys know that."

"Oh… "I chuckle and rub the back of my neck. I'm being a fool. Of course there's no angel who would have the guts to violate rules. Rules are rules and rules are not to be broken… I'm the only one who's hard headed. I'm such a good fella am I not? I couldn't help but laugh at myself inwardly.

"I just bring these flowers to his husband's grave… It's for her to know that someone else at least remembers his husband. I felt bad for her since after the burial, everyone else doesn't care anymore except for her. So these flowers are to remind her she's not alone." She pokes at the flowers again and let one of them to swirl in his fingers. "Flowers make people happy you know?"

"They do?" My swings to look at the lovely field of flowers with a sudden thought forming in my head.

"Duh Gilbert! Everyone knows that! Anyway, you carry these." Elizabetha hands the big basket over to Gilbert's arms.

"What the-? Why me!"

"You called me old, now you're going to carry that! And wow Gilbert, you're wearing shoes! Are you crazy? Well of course you are, I shouldn't have asked." I laugh at Gilbert when I saw his jaw drop. He isn't able to utter even a gasp from Elizabetha's continuous mouth. She's a lot more talkative than me! If only Arthur knows about her, he'll know the true meaning of talkative. I smile just by remembering him. "Oh Alfred! Are you coming with us?"

I laugh at Gilbert's face when I see it, his eyes are giving me a look plea, telling me not to live him alone with the angel who just tackled him on the ground. When I nod my head, he shots me that cheeky smile of his. I walk beside him and gives him a tap on the shoulder. "However, I'm not gonna help you with those." I point at the heavy basket of flowers with my eye. (Is that even possible?)

"Just coming with us is a big help dude."

Three wings open, and fly away leaving a few feathers behind.

* * *

I remember Arthur reading something regarding roses back at the hospital. Well I actually asked him to read the book out loud that time just to hear more of his sweet British accent.

"_Look, Platero, how many roses are falling all around; blue roses, white roses, roses without colour… One would think that the sky was dissolving into roses. Look how the roses are covering my forehead, my shoulders, my hands… What shall I do with so many roses?" _

I could clearly remember those lines uttered fluently and sweetly. It's like he's singing but he's not. And then I wonder, _Indeed, what shall you do when you have plenty of them? _That I'm close to finding out, as I stand here outside his door waiting for him to open it after ringing the bell a good few times. My toes feel cold despite the carpeted floor as soon as I hear light footsteps coming. It's Arthur's and I'm sure of it. I've planned my visits for some time of course, by wandering around their home every time I'm free from duty. Right now, I've memorized the sibling's daily schedule.

Basically it's just this; Monday to Friday Scott and Peter leaves at 7 in the morning and is back at around 8 in the evening which means Arthur is alone for 8 hours, five days in a week and that is just enough time I need.

"Who is it?" A very familiar voice comes out from the small speaker beside the door which I only just noticed.

"Hey Artie! It's me!" I notice my voice rise with excitement. "Remember? Alfred? Me?"

"Alfred!" The voice swings open in a fast motion and there right in front of me Arthur is standing. I can sense a little bit of surprise in his face, and it seems like he doesn't know if he's going to smile or let his mouth remain in an 'O' shape. He bites his lips, seemingly undecided. "Blimey, I don't know what to say!" I laugh at him, a hand ruffles his head. I know how he dislikes someone doing that to him. He told me once, he feels like he's being treated as a child. I still do it anyways; God knows I've missed Arthur!

"You don't have to say anything Artie. Oh and here!" I take his hand and let his fingers wrap around the beautifully laced stems. It's a right decision to come along with Liz; I am able to learn a good few things from her about flowers and arrangements. Though the teaching of course took longer because of the constant bickering of Gilbert.

"Roses." Arthur whispers with a smile, his nose nuzzling in the flowers as he inhales slowly. It's like he's memorizing its scent. He looks so beautiful looking like this that I forgot what I was recently thinking about. "I could tell just by the smell of it, and there seems to be more than a dozen… Thank you."

"Oh.. uh.. You are very welcome…" I find myself having difficulty on saying words. Yeah, that's how beautiful he is…

His eyes open suddenly and he gasps. His hand touches my chest which instantly crawls down slowly to my hand. "Oh dear I'm sorry! Please come in!" He pulls me and leads me to the couch which he doesn't find difficulty in. He must've know the exact places where to step and where not to. He places the flowers gently on top of the table, mentioning about finding a proper vase for that later.

"You like coffee right? I'll go prepare some. It may take a while though… You know." Hearing it, I immediately hold his free hand to stop him. He turns around with a questioning look. "What? You like something else?"

"Ah, not really. It's just that I don't want to bother you anymore."

"Bother? Me?" He chuckles and his hand slips away from mine. He walks over slowly to the kitchen with the walls as his guide. "You know, if it's you I don't really mind at all." I don't know if I was imagining things but, I think I saw his cheeks faintly turn pink as he says it. He quickly turns around to set for work without giving me the time to look more at his face.

I just sigh. I follow him and stand beside him and watch his hands carefully move.

"This may take quite a long while…" He whispers. He really is trying his best. I smile and hold his hand which is shaking, trying not to spill the sugar. My other hand on his other shoulder.

"Let me help you." He nods his head, and when I look at his face I confirmed that indeed, his cheeks are tainted with pink. Maybe he's embarrassed? Or maybe it's because I am currently holding his-

_I'm currently holding his hands right now. _Not to mention, he's pretty much in my arms, and he being smaller than me isn't really helping. He acts as if it's nothing though and he doesn't say anything. The shaking also has stopped, slowly he relaxes but his cheeks are still stained with pink. Actually, I think I'm blushing as well.

There's only silence for the next few seconds and I could my heart beat pumping loudly. I wonder if Arthur's heart is acting the same… For some reason, I can't move out from this position. It's like both of us are frozen on the spot, our feet glued to the floor.

"A-Alfred?" His voice has a hint of awkwardness, or maybe nervousness in it.

"Yeah?"

He takes a breath. "The coffee is done now…" I look at the cup, well I am looking at it but I wasn't paying attention. I didn't even notice that the stirring has stopped already.

"Oh… Yeah it is." I answer in a low voice. We still find ourselves frozen, our legs, our feet won't make any movement. Even a single step, no one attempts to do.

Then I bury my face in his hair, slipping down near his ear. "I missed you…" I wasn't planning on telling him that, but I felt like I needed to. I notice his breath hitch when I speak, probably feeling my breath touch his ears. My hands move from his hands, both arms circling around his waist and he stiffens. _Sensitive as always… _

"I missed you too…" He whispers like he didn't want me to hear it, but I did. Clear as crystal, I heard him. I smile once more, a very simple smile. "You know, I thought we'd never meet again."

"Well, you thought wrong."

"Obviously, I did." I chuckle at what he says. For a few more moments we remain in this position, feeling comfortable around each other. Then he turns around with the same smile I'm wearing with the cup of coffee in his hands. "Let's not forget your coffee big guy…" He pushes the cup to my chest that I'm forced to remove my hands on him just to get the cup out of his hands.

"Thanks…"

"No problem." We're still so close to each other, with only the cup of coffee the only thing separating us. But it didn't last long though, because he walks away. I just stare at the brown liquid in my hands. The tension between us suddenly fading like nothing just happened. And then I thought, did something really special happened, or was it just me?

"Would you like some cookies?" I lift my head and see Arthur bringing out something from the cabinet.

"Oh no. Coffee is enough, I'm quite full…"

"Are you sure?"

"Yup." He returns whatever it is in his hands and closes the wooden cabinet. I quickly finish my coffee and place the cups on the sink. It's easy to drink, it's gotten a bit cold from all the steering and… well you know…

I take one of Arthur's hands and place them in my arm, asking him to hold as he walks with me acting as a guide. Sure he knows the place very well but you can't deny that he's still having difficulties in moving around. He says another thank you and of course I tell him it's not a big deal. When we reach the sofa, we both sit down beside each other.

I look at the roses on the table and admired them. A pity he couldn't see but I know he could imagine how much beautiful they are. His reaction when his hands touched them is priceless.

"The roses, they're yellow… I meant to give you red but, I think yellow is a happier colour than red."

"Indeed it is. I've always liked yellow flowers, especially roses."

"I know, you always smell like one." His calmed down cheeks becomes flustered again. He didn't say anything and his fingers are playing a lose string from his sweater. "I remember you reading some lines for me… Remember? Back at the hospital?" He blinks, obviously not remembering it so I decide to just recite the lines to him. "_Look, Platero, how many roses are falling all around; blue roses, white roses, roses without colour… One would think that the sky was dissolving into roses._"

"_Look how the roses are covering my forehead, my shoulders, my hands… What shall I do with so many roses?_" He continues with a smile. "Yeah, I remember now. It's called Angelus…"

"Angelus…" I repeat and he nods his head. A question suddenly forming inside me. "Arthur, I wanna ask you something."

**"**Sure**,** go ahead."

"Do you believe in angels?" His brows meet at my question. I just had to ask it, I just want to know if he does.

"I don't know... I don't know if I should believe in them or not."

"Why? What do you think about them?"

"Creatures with wings."

"That's it?"

"Yes." I rest my head on his shoulder, which he doesn't seem to mind. "You know, my mom likes angels. Actually she always tells things and stories about them."

"Would you mind sharing?"

He leans his head on mine. The contact making me relax more. "My mom told me a story when I was little about an angel. This angel, she has no name and mom describes her to be very beautiful. Everyone who sees her looks her way and their eyes would stick to her, very difficult to look away…" I grin, I know that kind of feeling all too well… _If you only knew..._

"She smiles a lot, laughs a lot, and very friendly, and also very curious about everything, that when she had heard about the world of humans, she leapt from the clouds and began her adventure…"

* * *

**Lol..le random typing... **

**Continues on the next chapter~~ *le brain is being activated~~~***

**wushing wushing wushing C:**

**violent reactions...? Let's go table flip~~~! (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡 ┻━┻**


	5. Chapter 5

**oof!~ OOOOOFFF~~~ |(^3^)|**

* * *

_She flew down from the heavens to explore the world below. She wanted to see new things and learn more, for all the years of her life she never once leaved paradise._

_She was all smiles and laughter the moment her feet touched the grass. She felt excited and joyful and she can't wait to move around the world. Her wings took her to many different places. She went over hills, swam on the rivers, jumped on falls, and flew with the pigeons in the sky._

_But later on she became bored. Her laughter and smiles disappeared. The pretty angel became lonely because she was alone. She had no one to share her smiles with. There was no one to laugh with her._

_So she decided to find a friend. There was a small town nearby and that is where she went. There were so many people, all of them busy with their own businesses that no one even knew of her presence… at first. But when one person accidentally bumped into her, she immediately became the talk of the town._

_Everyone liked her and everyone was her friend. She liked the people there too, and she helped with everything that she could. She liked it there, she liked everyone, and she liked everything. From the houses, to the farms, the barns, everything._

_Then there was one time when she was hanging out with the children. They played games together, chatted, ate, chased each other on the hills. They were all happy, everyone except a little boy who was secretly following them and remained hidden in the bushes._

_And the angel found him. He squeaked and looked at the angel, slowly crawling back and the angel asked him, 'Why are you getting away?' He replied, 'Because no one likes me, and I know you don't like me too.'_

_The angel kneeled down and touched the kid's hair and smiled. She asked, 'How can you say that?' But her question didn't wait for the boy to answer because the other kids, when they saw him talking to the angel, they got stones and threw it at him while yelling, 'Get away ugly kid! Get away from the beautiful angel!'_

_She immediately protected him by standing and blocking the stones. She told the other kids to leave them be. It took minutes to convince them._

_When they were finally gone, she kneeled down again and hugged the crying kid, telling him that everything was already okay. She told him that he should just think of happy things and everything will be so much easier._

_But the kid shook his head. He said, 'Everything will never be easy for me, because I am ugly.' But the angel hushed him and said, 'Wrong, you are not ugly and everything will be fine. People will soon accept you for whatever you look like.'_

_But he kept on crying, 'How can you know? You can only say that because you are beautiful. Someone like you will never understand me.'_

_She knew that words weren't enough for this boy, so she decided she'll just prove it. Every day since, she played with him and she chatted with him. She ate with him under the trees, and together they roll down the hills and laugh. Slowly, the kid grew to love her, and she loved the kid as well._

_One unfaithful night though, the town was suddenly ravaged by fire. The reason was unknown. Everyone tried to save the things that they can save; they made sure that every member of the family was okay before they quickly fled their houses. The angel flew here and there saving trapped people and sending them to the other to be healed. _

_When she got back, she asked everyone if ever a person is missing, and they all shook their head making the angel sigh in relief. The kids ran to her, hugging her, crying because they were scared. She looked at them all and comforted them, remembering the little boy and how they first met._

_And that was when she realized, the boy was nowhere to be found. How could the people forget him? How could she forget him?_

_She flew back at the town, ignoring the people who were telling her to go back. She called for his name, ignoring the suffocating smoke. It felt like forever to find him. Alas, she found him half unconscious inside one of the barns. She carried him in her arms and flew towards the river for safety. She washed him, and remained by his side until he regained consciousness._

'_You came back I thought you left me.' Were his first words to her and then the angel cried. 'I'll always be here for you. I'll never leave your side ever.' The boy reached out his hand to wipe the tears. 'I'll protect you from every harm, every danger.' She swore to him. 'I'll always be here…'_

* * *

I slowly trace my finger on Arthur's face. He fell asleep with his head on my shoulder. There were more to Arthur's story, but his sleep got a hold of him. And that I think is a good thing because while narrating the story, he was almost close to crying. Well, he told me that her mom kept on crying too every time she would tell this to him. I guess he could see her as his eyes closed while speaking. He could imagine her mother telling him the story once again.

I gently lay his head on the pillow on my lap. It's my turn to play with his hair.

As I stare at his sleeping face, I think about his story. The ending is obvious; it's that, angels are always with the humans, protecting them from harm, saving them. Guardian angels as what they call that. I frown at the sad truth. The truth about how every meaning the story wishes to tell, was false.

We may not save anyone, we may not protect anyone. We do not exist to be their guardian angels. We are here to stand, wait, and watch them die. Painful truth. Sad and painful truth.

Then I drift back to Arthur, speaking of death, he too will die in the right time. Someday, he too will be one of the people we angels would wait for and watch as death visits him and takes him. My eyes suddenly feel like crying. So I stop thinking about it. I decide to just enjoy Arthur's company while I can.

He moves slightly and I stop my hands from playing with his hair. It must've disturbed him. "Alfred?" Arthur he opens his eyes a little, he still looks sleepy.

"Yeah?"

He sighs. "I thought you left me…" I chuckle and continue to play with his hair. I never thought that this hair thing is fun. "Can't you hear me breathing?"

"I can, but I can't be so sure." I chuckle again but this time didn't say anything. He closes his eyes. I thought he fell asleep again, but he speaks. "I had a dream…"

"About?"

"Something weird..."

"Weird?" He nods his head.

"My dream, it's weird."

"Tell me."

His lips pursed before opening his eyes again, though not as bright as when he's fully awake. "I was… Falling, from a tall building… The wind was cold, very cold like it's winter, but it's not. My eyes were closed."

"Were you scared?" He shakes his head.

"I wasn't, for some odd reason I didn't feel scared when I was falling. Actually, I felt a lot more relaxed and calm…" He paused. "Then a miracle happened, because when I opened my eyes I was able to see." He smiles and excitement rings on his voice. "I saw the whole city as I was falling. Upside down but it doesn't matter because I can see. Though of course, what I saw is based from my last sight of London. I know many things have changed now."

"London is still very beautiful."

"I know, and it will always be." He closes his eyes for a moment before opening them again slowly. "I was flying."

My brows perch up. "Flying?" He nods his head.

"I was flying all over the city; I had wings like an angel."

I chuckle at him, a few strands of hair curling on my finger. "It isn't really hard to picture that. I mean, you _do _look like one."

"Belt up." He whispers in a frown with embarrassment. The blush is faint but very visible to my eyes. I laugh and suddenly feeling a small pain in my arm. Arthur's fingers are on it, pinching mercilessly until I stop laughing.

"I wonder how it feels like to fly, for real life." My smile grows wider at his question. I can answer that in many, many ways.

"It's fun, very fun, super fun. Flying makes you happy and relaxed and you got to enjoy the view from above and the company of the pigeons. Then you will laugh at the people below because they look so small, microscopic."

This time, he laughs. "Sounds like a professional, did that come from your superhero dreams?"

I just smile and agree to him. "Yep." He breathes in slowly and breathes out.

"The air up there, I would love to breathe. I haven't got any fresh air in a long while." He sits up and stretches his arms a bit. "Must be really good to be out there." _Absolutely…_

My mind is at work again, forming a seemingly ridiculous idea. What if I take him out to the world? Take him to the park for a short walk. Just a short walk and that's it. Maybe sit down there for very few minutes then return? What I'm currently planning is risky, for both our parts. Especially mine, someone might see me together walking with someone I'm not supposed to be with. I look at Arthur, his hands rubbing his eyes and looking sleepy still. But he's very much awake. Then I look at the clock. _It's 3:30, long enough to go and return._

"Hey Artie?" His head turns to me. "Uh, I was wondering if you would want to go out today? Oh but don't worry! We're gonna return here before dark." He doesn't blink and simply kept quiet with a hint of doubt. He is unsure but I can tell he wants it.

"Where are we going?"

"Nearby park, few blocks from here. It's still half-past three in the afternoon." He bites lips and his eyes wander off to different directions. I thought he is going to refuse, but he finally smiles.

"I guess a few minutes wouldn't hurt anyone."

* * *

I keep his hand locked in mine as we walk the streets, afraid that I might lose him in the crowd. I stick close to him as well so that his arms doesn't extend that much, or else he'll look weird to the eyes of other, with an extended arm and all. My eyes are also constantly moving around the place to see if someone Arthur's knows approaches. Arthur is the only person I plan on having contact with, and I can't let other people see me. Well I don't want Arthur introducing a friend whom he only can talk to right?

We have small conversations around the place, I ask Arthur about the different things I see. A simple description and he already knows what I am talking about. At the same time, I describe everything worth seeing to him. As we turn the next corner, it is full of happy people in a semi circle form as they watch street performers here and there doing very interesting things. Everyone is laughing and clapping.

"Alfred, what do you see?"

"Oh, there's a street performer. A mime and he's acting out like a horse on a race." The people applauses and are throwing coins and bills. Some throw flowers at him. "The people are enjoying and giving him flowers. He deserves it."

"I can guess by the laughter." He chuckles. "Oh what's going on over the other side?"

I turn around and the people are squealing and cheering, some looks horrified and some are gasping with excitement. I pull Arthur slightly and I stand on my tiptoes to peek at what's happening. My own eyes widen in amusement, "There's a woman, oh gosh…"

"What is it?"

"She's swallowing a long balloon." Arthur gasps and covers his mouth, clearly he could imagine that. "Oh, half way to go!"

"Ah please…" He tugs my hand, and I chuckle before pulling him away and we continue to walk again. The rest of the walk is spent with more questions and answers and laughter.

We reached the park, slowly we continue to walk while feeling the crunchy sound produced by the leaves on the ground which slightly covers the pathway. On each side there are tall Acer trees with its leaves turned to a shade of dark orange, yellow, and red. Those that have fallen are carried by the cold wind every time it blows. There are children running around, scattering the piled up leaves which pisses the 'sweeper. The dogs on loose aren't helping either. I tell everything to Arthur, every moment that is happening and we both laugh. Everything is just too beautiful at the moment. I never thought something like this actually is possible to happen. I sigh with the smile on my face getting wider.

"What's with the sigh? Are you tired already?" Arthur stops and gently his thumb rubs my hand. I shake my head and pulled his hand then we continue walking.

"Don't worry about me. I was just thinking."

"May I ask what it's about?" I glance at him and chuckle at his curious face. He looks like a child now, and I his father. I look back at the surroundings.

"I never thought that… A perfect moment exists." I know he would ask what I mean, so answer before he even gets his voice out . "You know, the scenery, the weather, the season…" I pause and look at him. "And of course, you."

"Me?"

"Yeah. Whose hand do you think I'm holding right now?" He doesn't answer and turns his head on another direction. _How many times am I able to make him flustered for today? _"It's been a month now you know. September 21st, I met you just about the start of the season. Yes, I've been keeping track."

I spot an empty wooden bench on the side, finally somewhere to sit. I pulled Arthur slowly, leading him on the way. I kick some stones that are scattered on the ground that may trip Arthur over. "There you go, somewhere to rest finally. You must be tired." He shakes head and smiles.

"We just walked; I wouldn't get tired of that." He leans on his back and crosses his legs. "Besides, I haven't got the chance to walk a fair distance for a long time."

"Don't your brothers take you out?" He shakes his head and looks down.

"I don't want to bother them any further." His hands are clasped together above his knees, his thumbs are having a little wrestling. His tone is kind of sad but as always, he's smiling. I don't really have anything to say right now, I don't know what words to speak.

A loaf of bread suddenly rolls a few feet from us producing a small rattling sound from the leaves. Both our attentions drift to it.

"What's that?"

I look sideways and saw a child running around, throwing pieces of bread everywhere. _What a waste of food. _He's laughing and smiling from ear to ear. "A kid is throwing bread everywhere, a part landed in front us."

"Oh, why?"

"Dunno…"

The sound of wings flapping makes me look up. For a moment my heart skips a beat, thinking that the other angels has spotted me, but the sound of flapping wings are not that of a big creature. I sighed in relief. They are just pigeons.

One by one they land in front us, pecking on the loaf. They produce sounds like, 'krukru' every time their food would roll away from them. Then they would go chase it and sometimes snatch it from one another. "Birds, pigeons right?" Arthur asks.

"Yup. Feeding on the bread, they're almost done now." He smiles and takes something out from his pocket. It is wrapped with tissue paper. He slowly and carefully opens it. A few pieces of biscuit lay in his palms, and slowly he takes it and removes the tissue which he places back on his pocket. Then he clasp his hands together again, smashing the biscuits into small crumbs and he opens his palms.

"Is it good enough? Not too small?"

"Not too small." I nod my head, and watch him send the crumbs flying towards the birds. They jump away of course fro surprise, but immediately they begin cooing again as soon as they discover it is more food. I laugh and Arthur smiles when he hears them.

"They like it don't they?"

"Yep. Very."

I watch the birds eat in silence, admiring them and constantly chuckling when I find some of their actions funny. Of course I tell them to Arthur. A man on a bike suddenly passes by in a quick speed in front us, scaring all the pigeons away, sending them flying in different directions. Feathers scatter and fall very slowly down. I could feel some of it land on my hair. Some lands on Arthur's as well and I laugh at his shocked face.

"What just happened?"

"Bike passed by, pigeons got scared, they fly away, and they sent feathers everywhere." I reach my hand to remove those that are stuck in his messy hair. Some falls when he moves his head. A feather lands on his hands. When I'm sure there's nothing left, I sat straight again, one hand resting on the back rest of the bench. I look at Arthur, smiling at something in his hand. Between his two fingers, he twirls a feather slowly again and again.

"Feathers…" He ran a finger on it. "I remember finding a feather before at my room. Strangely though it's kind of, big. Doesn't seem like a bird's feather to me."

"Really? When?"

"The first time I went home from the hospital. It was in my bed when I woke up." My heart pounds suddenly. It must've been my feather. No. It _is _my feather. I passed through the window that time to leave. I remember stretching my wings inside the room and fluttering it several times before I leapt out. "I still have it you know? I kept it inside my drawer. For some reason I can't find myself throwing it out the window again." He blows the feather away from his head and I watch it gently descend to the ground. "I remembered my mom, maybe that's why."

"Your mom?"

"Yes. Somehow in my head, my mind likes to think that she visited me. Sort of welcomed me home after spending weeks in the hospital."

"That's a good thought." _Though I'm sorry it was just me. _I scratched my head. Of course I wouldn't tell him that. Somehow I feel bad right now. "But, did you thought if it as… from your guardian angel?"

"Guardian angel you say? Maybe, but I don't really believe those kind of angels exist." Before I can even ask why, he speaks again. "But you know, I believed in them." _Believed… _ Past tense. "That was when I was still a child. I believed everything my mother says about those beings." _Those beings huh?_

"Why don't you believe them now?" He bites his lips. I can sense his hesitation to answer, but he speaks anyway.

"Remember the story? I haven't finished it I know, but you can already guess the meaning of it." He glances my way. "Angels exist to protect us, and keep us away from harm. They know who need them, and tries to save those who are good hearted. Those who are worthy of living. That's what it is trying to say." He closes his eyes for a moment. "My mother, is the greatest good you'll ever know. A very fascinating woman, like an angel walking the earth. That's how everyone sees her."

Arthur's hands started to shake in his lap. His hands, they are the only ones allowing me to know what he is feeling at the moment. Whether he's sad, about to cry, or embarrassed, they would shake, tremble, they open and close and find something to clutch. So I hold them, attempting for comfort. He smiles at my touch and I notice his hands relax a little. "Sorry, I'm just cold." They indeed are cold, but I know it isn't the reason. "Hey Alfred? I think it's best we head back now."

I don't want to yet, but when I glanced at the tall clock hanging on a lamp post, that's how I realize that the sun will set anytime soon. I agree and pull his hand gently as he stands up. I hate to leave yet with the conversation stopping and left hanging. But now might not be the best time for this.

The wind blows once more and Arthur's grip tightens. One of his hands buries inside his coat pocket. We walk slowly back, the leaves crunch against our feet. The bright smile and happy atmosphere is no longer there. I can't feel happiness as we walk now, unlike hours ago when we just came here, where everything was beautiful, happy, and just perfect…

* * *

**I squeezed my mind just to finish this in one sitting! wOOO!**

**About the story,you know, the angel thing?... it wasn't supposed to be that long but.. I got carried away XD XD XD dadadadada~~~ I feel like i didn;t do good in this chapter though... but whoo who cares? lalalla~**

**I was supposed to make this yesterday... But I chose Lord of the Rings over this.. - I now see everyone as gay.. *with hugs and cheesy lines and all that* ****~ where is my innocent child brain? S****till love it though! **

**edit later! shupaaaaang!**

**(~〜￣△￣)〜~**


	6. Chapter 6

**Alulululu~~**

* * *

I lay on the grass, my arms serving as pillows. My eyes are closed, not really interested to gaze at the lovely flowers on the field. Once again I'm in paradise thought this time I'm alone and at peace. No other bickering angels around, which is good because with the peaceful atmosphere, I can think well.

I know how I'm letting myself get _too close _to Arthur; holding hands, lap rest, hair playing, _lingering hugs and special use of words. _Every time I see him, the day never ends without me telling him how wonderful, how beautiful, how special he is. There is not one meeting that he doesn't receive such words from me. With everything that I've been doing and saying, it's like giving out my feelings for him, I've been showering him with my affections with everything I do and tell him. It's all very obvious, that now, right now in this very moment I could just fly back to him and tell him, _Hey Arthur in case you haven't noticed, I love you, for a long time now… _

I never said anything about this feeling of mine. I never told him I like him, I love him, I love everything about him. Not a single moment did I say anything like 'love'. There's this one time, when I first came, my mouth spoke without thinking. '_I missed you….' _That was a give-away already but I don't regret saying it, because with that, I knew that he longed to see me too. But that was it. I never said anything like that again and luckily, Arthur didn't mistake it as… Well not really mistake because if he finds out, it's the truth. But I'm just glad he's not the type of person to assume, because if that happens, I'm afraid I'd have to deny.

I don't have plans on telling him how I really feel about him. I'm selfish, I know. I'm actually having thoughts about him falling for me. Who wouldn't? After a person show you signs he's in love with you, after making you feel like the most beautiful thing in his eyes, I admit to myself that I, when made to feel those, instantly I'll be carried away with so much emotion. I know that, but sorry to say I don't intend to let him know anything. Call me selfish, cruel, bastard of an angel, call me anything and I'll accept it with my all my heart, because I know that it's true. No matter how painful it sounds, it's true.

But of course I have reasons for that, and first in line is _I've been lying to him since the first day we met._ I'm not human, he thinks I am human. And that comes with the 2nd thing; _everything I've been doing is against the rules of heaven. _And because of that, _we can __**never**__ be together. _Not a chance, not a single chance is there. I've accepted these _facts_, and I know the different consequences of my actions. If the others knew about this, they'll stop me from seeing him, making me just a memory to be forgotten. If no one would know, I'll end up keeping both our hopes up and open to possibilities that don't really exist. But nonetheless, whatever the outcome may be both of us ends up getting hurt. For the worst part, _Arthur would hurt a lot more badly than I do._

I sigh. My head is hurting just by thinking about all of these! I presented myself a problem that has the worst solutions ever; I gave myself a situation that will never have a happy ending. I've let myself enter something that would someday be a torture to both our hearts.

Right now, I know very well that Arthur has made me a part of his life, and he cares for me deeply. I've become important to him. All I can do now is pray that it doesn't level up with my feelings. I hope he doesn't fall in love.

* * *

The sound of someone walking on grass wakes me up (I didn't even know I was sleeping). I rub my eyes and push myself to sit up. I scratched my head as it turns to look at who made the sound. It is Ivan.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"What do you think?" I don't intend to sound grumpy but my voice went ahead of me. I just look away and stand up to stretch my arms. He chuckles.

"I think I did." He begins walking towards the field. "Don't worry, you can go back to sleep now." I roll my eyes. I've already stretched my body, he thinks I can go back to sleep? I watch his retreating back, and now I wonder what on earth is he doing here? I rarely see him here. He's the kind that is devoted to his duties. When he has free time I would see him organizing his list and planning things about how he would get his work done faster.

"Hey! What are you doing here anyway?"

He stops and turns around to face me. "It's my free time."

"You didn't answer my question." I walk to him, yawning as I speak. "It's rare for you to be here."

"Rare?" He laughs. Why is he laughing? "I always fly up here during my free time. I hang out where the sunflowers are."

"Sunflowers?" Both us begin to walk, I think coming with him isn't really bad at all. As long as I be careful with my words. He's pretty sharp at things. "What's with sunflowers?"

"They're beautiful."

"And?"

"They're relaxing to look at."

"So as the other flowers here." I quickly crouch down to pick up one, it's a daisy. I let it twirl in my hands as we continue to walk. "See?"

He glances at it for a moment and shakes his head. "I like sunflowers more than others."

We cross a small shallow river, hopping on the stones carefully so we don't get wet. There are fishes swimming, sometimes they jump. I let myself smile for a moment before looking back to watch where I step. Ivan is already a little far ahead. He's got long legs, no wonder his steps are bigger than mine. Our conversation starts again when I reach the other end. "So, what is it with sunflowers?" I ask again and he looks at me with a weird face.

"You know, I don't know what kind of answer you expect me to tell you." I laugh. Actually, I don't really know myself what kind of answer I'm looking for.

Tall bushes appear in sight, covered with small pink flowers. He swiftly makes a way in between the leaves with his two hands and he goes across. I copied what he did and I got across. There are leaves that got stuck on my hair and I had to look down and shake it off like a dog. When I look up again, my eyes widen at the bright yellow view.

Down the hill is a wide field of sunflowers, and Ivan is already among them. I hadn't even notice that guy move. I jog down and go to where he is standing. A small sunflower in his hands already.

"They're beautiful." I mutter and he smiles.

"Now, do you have the answer to your question?" I nod my head. Just being with the flowers makes me happy. It's like there's happiness everywhere, all over the place, everything these flowers touch is a happy place. "You seem happy. I wonder if these had beaten your _roses…_"

My heart skips a beat as he said that. I look at him questioningly which he seems to be able to read. He laughs and then he pulls my rebelling hair making me flinch. "Oh don't look at me like that. I'm not stalking you or anything, just happen to see you once picking those yellow roses when I was on my way here." He lets go of my hair much to my relief, but his answer doesn't make my heart calm down and my eyes still looks at him from the corner with slight suspicion. "I didn't know you like roses-, okay now why are you still looking at me like that?" I immediately look away, my eyes wide open now. I didn't know I was staring at him intently.

"Ah, sorry about that…" This time he's the one to look at me with suspicion. He crosses his arms.

"I know that look, it's like you're waiting for me to say something, something that would clear your doubts."

"No reason really!" I wave my hands on his face.

"Yeah right." He rolls his eyes and looks back at the sunflowers. "I don't know anything about your life, and I'm not going to bother myself knowing what secrets or gossips you have but, if ever I learn something, accidentally or from others, I'll tell you. So no worries."

This time it's my turn to roll my eyes. "You've just scared me weeks and weeks ago. In case you don't remember, we were flying and you were like, '_You're too happy today!' _And then you were like_, 'I wonder why Alfred…' _" He looks at me with those weird purple eyes of his.

"I remember that…" And then he laughs again. "I, scared you? Seriously?"

"Dang Ivan! Don't tell me you-"

"I wasn't really meaning something you know! It's just that, well…" His laughter dies and his tone changes into a calm and soft one. "You know how socially awkward I can get. I don't have any idea what to say that time and that's what came in my mind. I apologize for that." I scratch my own head in embarrassment for the accusation. In my case, it can't be helped to be paranoid! I mumble an apology as well and then there is silence. An awfully awkward silence and I don't like it.

"So, uh…" I try to begin and he looks at me with a smile. "About the roses thing," _What the hell? Why'd you bring that up! _I tell myself but my mouth won't obey. "I was picking them up for, uh, Liz." Nice one…

"I see, so you don't really like them?"

"I do actually… Don't you like roses?" He shakes his head and I ask myself, what is there not to like in these flowers? I like them a lot, and I'm proud to say that if it weren't for Arthur introducing their beauty, I wouldn't have paid so much attention to them. It's like the roses are my symbol for Arthur, much more like Arthur is my rose. _Great boogie how cheesy is that? _I chuckle to myself and at my own words. I never thought I'd come up with that kind of line. Luckily I didn't speak it out loud.

"You really are very happy—Oh I didn't mean anything by that just in case."

"Nothing to worry about dude." I slightly punch him in the arm with a smile and return it with his own. "Anyway, you're right, I'm very happy right now."

"Happiness is a good thing, but if you feel that way, you better be ready for what comes next."

There go his deep words again. I remember hearing him give advice to Gilbert about narcissism, and well I almost laughed at him because he wasn't able to absorb anything from his words. "Next?"

He nods his head. "I've lived for a long awful time, long enough to realize that." His smile decreases but still is there. "After so much happiness, comes very extreme pain."

My own smile disappears completely, my eyes travel down the ground as I bite my lips. I understand very well what he's saying, I know what will happen in the future, and until now I'm still preparing for the negative side of everything that is to come. I feel sad suddenly as I think about it. I've been trying my best to avoid the thought but right now it's kinda hard. _Damn you Ivan for reminding me…_

A tap on my shoulder disturbs me and pulls me away from my thoughts. Ivan smiles at me with a sunflower at hand. "I need to go now Al, work's waiting for me. And uh, thank you for the short chat." I simply nod my head and watch him take off from the ground, until he's just a small tiny dot in the clouds. I'm alone once again, all alone with my thoughts that I had successfully got over it just half an hour ago, and now comes back to refrain me from smiling even a fake and forced smile.

* * *

I knock on his door and greet him with a cheerful hello. As usual he lets me in and settles me on the very comfortable L-shaped couch. He asks me and offers me food and drinks like always. I shake my head and pull him back to sit beside me, he gasps.

"You know I don't come here just to drink coffee." He chuckles and sits still with my hand in holding his arms tight to not let him escape. I know he'll walk briskly towards the kitchen once I let go. Then I decided to tell him some stories just to keep him from standing.

"I met a woman today, old woman actually. She's the ideal grandma you know?" He smiles and nods his head without saying anything. "When she saw me, she asked me if I wanted cookies. But I shook my head and told her, I was there for her." I look at Arthur again to see if he is paying attention, and if it's ok to let go of his arms now. He is still smiling, but when I look at him longer I notice he's mind is probably wondering off somewhere else.

"Hey, you okay?" He perks his head up and nods. "Are you sure? You're awfully quiet." Another nod and smile. Convincing enough so I begin speaking again only to find myself stop to look at his face. He's obviously not in flying in the present world.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know, is there something wrong?" He asks back and I don't know if he's trying to be sarcastic, or trying to make me laugh, or the question is innocent. I pout.

Arthur is a lot quieter today. It has been a week already since I've started my regular visits again, and he seems to not be as cheerful as he was for the past days. He would share a few stories to me, make fun of me, ask me to describe things for him, but there's none of those today. His lips rarely open, and when it does only a sigh escapes from it or only a 3-word sentence. Most of my questions he answers with a nod or shake of his head. But he's smiling. He's smiling and it never wavers.

And it is fake.

Well not entirely fake, it's real but it's not whole. It's not the way he usually smiles.

A heavy breath escapes him, a pillow in his arms covering half of his face. Only his bright emeralds could be seen. I'm itching to ask him whatever the matter is, so I open my mouth to ask but he suddenly speaks first leaving my mouth hanging open.

"I want to go outside today, that is if it's all right with you." He shifts on his seat as he wait for my reply. I don't know why he suddenly wants to go outside again, maybe he just enjoyed the last time. I let my lips curve in a smile. I don't know why bit it doesn't matter, I'm still going to be with him anyways.

"No problem."

* * *

We sit on the same bench, with the same view and surroundings thought this time there are fewer people, considering it's a working day today. Everyone's probably on their offices and the children sleeping at school. I like the little privacy, I like being alone with dear Arthur.

"I really like being outside." He whispers, his hands inside on his coat pockets as the cool wind breezes. We sit side by side with each other, our arms touching and I could feel some of his warmth. "Hey, why aren't you wearing any jacket. Aren't you cold?" Another random and innocent question. What excuse to tell him this time?

"I have my own human blubbers." He laughs and I find myself laughing too at the ridiculous excuse I came up with.

"Your arms don't feel fat." He leans on my arm making him a lot closer to me. I feel my heart flutter at the closeness. I always wonder if he feels the same every time something like this happens. After a few moments everything is silent again, but this time I somehow the heaviness surrounding Arthur disappeared and his smile became more real now. I want to ask him but I don't want that smile to disappear. "I'll miss those arms."

I look at him questioningly and he seems to feel my stare. "They are a great guide and support." He chuckles.

"You'll miss my arms? Dude I don't have any plans on cutting them off. No reason to miss—" My brain quickly sends my heart pounding with a heartbreaking thought. "My arms will remain, don't tell me you-"

"Shh." He closes his eyes and smiles wider.

"Don't 'Shh' me! Arthur tell me I'm-"

"Shh! Can't you hear that?" I shut my mouth and let my ears wait for whatever Arthur is hearing but it picks nothing up. I tried for a few more minutes and finally I sigh.

"Arthur are you trying to change the-"

"I'll miss that too."

"Arthur, will you just tell me what's on your mind? It's something bad isn't it?" And that smile of his finally disappears.

"Alfred, straight to the point answer… I'll be leaving the country tomorrow morning." His voice hitches a few times as he speaks, meanwhile not a sound escapes me. It's like I didn't understand a thing he said, or more like I don't want to accept and understand.

"Where?" I find my voice again and this time the questions fly all out at once. "Why all of a sudden? You can't be serious man! I don't believe you, I-"

"I'll miss that non-stop mouth of yours too." He giggles but I can't find anything funny about it. Not one bit is funny. "Now one by one okay?" He breathes in deeply before speaking again. "Where? New York. Why? It's about my brother and his job, apparently he's getting transferred to New York by his company and," He breathes again. "Yes I am serious. No jokes."

"Why…?" I find myself asking that again. He sighs, and he didn't answer because he knows I understand everything perfectly well.

Just a few hours ago I was being lectured by Ivan about this. Just a few hours ago I was thinking about the future. Just a few hours ago, I was thinking that something like this is going to happen, but what I didn't expect was it will happen too soon. Too soon, I'm not even prepared for parting ways yet.

"You're very important to me you know." _More than how much you can think off._ "And this is…"

"You're very important to me as well, I owe you a lot."

We sit here a little longer, no words just silence. Both of us don't know what to say.

The wind is getting colder, and this time I am the one who suggests we leave. Our walk back his home is once again, not so happy. Actually, not even a dust of happiness. Just when did goodbyes became happy?

He thanks me for coming today, thanks me for everything. I thank him as well, he has no idea how much he has changed in me, and how much he will change once he's gone. I kiss him on the forehad after one tight hug. And the last words from him, the last words I hear would surely be forever in my heart. Forever replaying inside my head. And also, I hope that my last words will never forgotten.

"_I'll really miss you Alfred. I really will." _

"_I'll miss you too, I'll miss you forever."_

* * *

**What just happened?...**

**Oh gosh tequila...**

**I'm not satisfied with this but... gah too tired. Will make it up on the next chap.**

**See ya! **

**Thank you...**


	7. Chapter 7

**dandandandan~**

* * *

"_I'll really miss you Alfred. I really will." _

Those were the last words he had said to me, and the last time he had said my name. It keeps repeating on my mind, over and over again like a broken CD. I could still remember very well how his voice sounds like, and how his accent makes every word, no matter how short or simple it is, sound so endearing to the ears.

It has been months already, six months to be exact! Yes, I know I'm such a baby for counting the days not getting over everything completely but it can't be helped. My mind won't listen.

I've tried once actually, to ask permission to be transferred to New York, to base me somewhere near New York, or anywhere in America. I even tried to have me switch places with someone there, but the permission wasn't granted. I know very well why. To be permitted, you must have a very good reason, a valid and acceptable one. Acceptable. Of course I didn't know what to tell them. I can't just speak so casually like, '_Hey my darling love of my life is there, so let me go dude.' _It's like sentencing myself to death. So the reason they got from me was, '_I'm bored here. I want something new!' _Which is a very natural and unsusceptible reason knowing me and how my mind works. But it is not valid. So I got thrown a big 'NO'. I didn't attempt to ask again.

Everyone has noticed the slight change in me too which I've noticed as well. For the first weeks, all my smiles were forced, fake, not real. And I don't laugh at jokes, I just smile. Gilbert is the very first one to notice that since he's my closes buddy, the one whose silliness always makes me laugh. He noticed my lack of happiness the moment he threw a shoe at my head and he didn't get any reaction. Well he did but it was just a simple, 'Oh it's you.' My recovery was kinda slow, and it took me 3 months I think, before I find myself laughing like crazy again. Though up till now, every now and then I'll isolate myself just to think about and remember everything.

Like now, I'm sitting alone at the top of the White tower, Tower of London. People believe it's haunted, but hell no. The problem had been taken care of years and years and years ago. People are merely imagining things right now. I see some tourists below pass by, exchanging stories about ghosts from history. They say a white lady roams around the area, carrying her head in her arms. I know nothing about London's history, so I don't really know who that lady is.

The sound of an airplane gets my attention and I look up, watching it slowly move and hide itself in the clouds. _Arthur, why must everything make me remember you?_

_It was raining that day but I ignored it and let myself get drenched in the rain. It was very early, the sun was just peeking from the mountains but fortunately I was just right on time. The three were still at home. Scott was on the phone as he walked around the house, checking everything just in case he forgot something. Peter was busy drawing something on a paper. Arthur, well Arthur at first I didn't see him. He wasn't in the living room. The huge sliding windows were closed, but hopefully they weren't locked, so when no one was looking I opened it very slowly, careful not produce a sound. I didn't open it entirely, just a little until I think my body would fit. _

_The moment I stepped on the carpeted floor, my feet directed me straight to Arthur's bedroom. That's where I found him. There was a luggage sitting on the edge of his bed, the closet was still open but I found not a single dress hanging. There were shoes, or any other items. On his bed side table, there were no more books. The room was empty, only Arthur and me, and well his luggage and his bed were what's left on the room._

_Arthur sat on his bed facing the window; he seemed to be in deep thought. His eyes seemed sleepy but I know they weren't. He actually looked sad, like heaven and earth was against him. I could feel the same way, I completely understand. I was tempted to show myself, but no I can't. I shouldn't, because everything would just feel worse. Everything would also be very complicated._

_He's hugging a pillow just like the last time, hiding his nose and mouth. The room was dark, the lightning illuminating it every once in a while. The thunder comes after, disturbing the silence. _

_I walk quietly and took a sit behind him, leaning gently on his back. His body, I felt it flinch with the contact. His head swings slightly to the side but he doesn't say anything. After a while he buries his head on the pillow again and relaxes. I hug my knees with a sigh._

_I wanted to talk to him but I know I'm not supposed to that. I was forced to bear with the silence. This heavy silence._

_After a loud crash of thunder, I heard him whispering something to himself. At first I wasn't able to understand anything, but as I listened more carefully, I was able to hear only his voice and the noise of the rain outside seemed to have faded away._

"…_I see the day and happy summer die, _

_If you could hear my heart in answer cry._

_Its pain to your sad tune, you'd swiftly wing,_

_Into my bosom you would bring._

_And we would weep together you and I."_

_He was about to speak more, but a knock on the door disturbed him along with his brother's voice._

"_Art! I called a cab already, coming in a few minutes."_

"_Yeah, I'll be there shortly." He stands up, and my back feels so cold again. He searches for his luggage with his hands, and smiled when he finally had his hands on it. I watch him walked towards the door, and he seemed to hesitate on opening it. He just stood there with the cold knob in his hand. _

_Then he turned to my direction and our eyes met. I froze, but then he couldn't see me. His eyes didn't move away and so did mine. I just wanted to look at him as much as I can, before he finally vanish for good._

"_Art! Ready yet?" That cut him out of his trance. _

"_Ah, yeah." He opens the door without glancing back at me. It seemed like it took him forever to step out. Everything seemed to have moved in a slow motion. My eyes never left the door, as long as I could_ _still see a part of Arthur, my eyes never blinked._

That was the last time I saw him. I didn't chase him at the airport anymore. Just seeing him leaving, closing the door behind was painful enough. What more seeing him fly away somewhere I know I can't come?

* * *

The sun is high up in the sky as I walk on the shore. The waves hit the sand, wetting my feet. I smile as I feel them, the lower part of my pants are wet now and the stick to my skin which I find kind of irritating. But I don't care for now. I'm enjoying the water.

I'm not the only one though; a lot of other people are enjoying it too. There are families everywhere, group of friends throwing sand at each other, and lovers chasing each other on the shore. Some went pass through me actually. Add a love song as background music and they would look like those being displayed in the karaoke. I laugh at myself, I'm funny.

"The hell are you laughing at?" I turn my head at the very familiar voice.

Brown hair, brown eyes, a long rebelling curl that looks like a butterfly's antennae (Of course I don't tell him that.), another angel that doesn't seem like one with the never-fading frown on his face. I smile and wave my hand as he walk beside me. "Sup Lovi?"

"Sup? Idiot I have work here."

"Oh. Me too." I say with glee but I only got a roll of his eyes.

"I know that." I shrug my shoulders and chuckle but he doesn't find anything worth even a giggle. If there's one thing that could make him laugh, that is watching people and their idiotic actions. Just like the couple in front of us now. His eyes are on them as they throw balls of sand at each other, hitting each other in the faces that it didn't take long for the girl to cry, complaining that her eyes got sand on them. "Hah! Idiotic freaks never fail to amuse me." He laughs and I try to force a low chuckle too just to get over the uneasiness.

"Uh, anyway-"

"Boo Alfred, stop ruining the fun." I blink several times, thinking about what I could have possibly done. I didn't even get to say a whole sentence. I just sigh and scratch my head as he continue searching for something idiotic to laugh at.

He is enjoying himself as of the moment, pointing at different people and their funny-for-him acts, nudging my arm with his elbow saying. "See that? See that! Oh how stupid—OH! Hahahaha!"

And I laugh an obviously fake one too but he doesn't seem to notice.

The time passes quickly and soon we the hear shouts of people, our cue that work is finally starting.

We start walking briskly to see what everyone is gasping at. Our eyes follow the pointing hands and we see the reason. A yacht, meters and meters from the shore is puffing thick black smoke in the air. It is on fire.

"Somebody call for help! Please!"

"Call the ambulance! Call the rescue team!"

"Bloody hell how many people are there! Can they swim?"

The crowd us getting a lot more frantic and the sudden, loud explosion made the people's fears worse. Kids are crying, the adults are praying. I look at them with sad eyes because whatever it is they're wishing for, it wouldn't come true. The people in there are destined to die today.

I feel sudden pain in my ear, Lovi pulls my left ear hard that I needed to pinch his own ears in order for him to let go. "What was that for?"

"For you, you idiot!"

"Me?"

"Yeah! I'm not explaining why okay? Just…" He sighs as he looks away. "Just don't look at them, ignore them if you please." He speaks softer. He's talking about the people, he's telling me not to look at their faces, faces the shows fear. I know exactly why.

I pull his arm and my wings open. "I think, we better go there now." He nods his head and we both flap our wings, ready to finish things as quick as possible to get rid of the horrible sight.

The smoke is thick, pitch black and very unpleasant to the nose; we had to cover half of our face with both hands. On mid-air, we wait for souls to float up in the air with us. The cries inside, they're much worse than the cries of the people on the shore. These are real cries of pain, feeling their skin burn slowly, be consumed by fire. I look at Lovi his back turned against the burning water vehicle.

"I guess we came too soon." I hear him say in a very soft voice. I didn't say anything anymore and simply wait for any signs of the souls.

It didn't take much longer for the fire to cool down and the rescuers to arrive. Floating pieces of the yacht are slowly being collected and sorted away on a separate container. Lovi flies beside me as we watch them search for the bodies of the victims. One by one, they show up on the surface of the water, lifeless, their bodies are not a sight to be seen. They look a lot more horrible than over roasted meat. You can't identify who is who anymore.

As the bodies float up, their souls rise in the air and their faces filled with shock and disbelief as they see their own bodies look like human coal. "No…" One lady whispers and she covers her mouth as she looks at herself be carried away by the team of rescuers. "This can't be! I'm dead? I can't die yet!" She tries to rush back to her body, she meant to return back and try to live again but Lovi grabs her arm. That is the only time she had noticed our presence. "Who are you!" She looks behind Lovi then at me and notices our wings. She begins pleading instantly. "Please don't take me yet! Please don't!"

I shake my head. "We're sorry miss." I fly nearer and she struggles to break free from Lovi's grip, pleading and crying not to take her away yet. Saying something about his sick husband and waiting children. Before she could even say anything more, I place my palm on her forehead and watch her slowly turn into a small faint orb of light.

"Alfred." I turn to look at him and read his eyes; he's telling me we should end things faster now. I nod my head and we proceed to collect the surprised, horror-filled souls. Saying apologies and short explanations, and answering some of their questions before they finally depart from this world.

Each of us got 4 floating lights in our hands, all has a faint glow on them, and some actually seem not to glow at all unless you stare at them fully. They all have died with regrets, with unfinished business, with someone they left untimely. I watch the rescuers double check their bodies, having hopes that they would feel the slightest beat of their hearts of pulse, that they would feel even the faintest breathe from their noses.

I turn my back and look at the other angel I'm with, he has no intention of even glancing at the scene. As much as possible, if he doesn't need to look, he will not. "Hey, let's g-."

"Someone's alive! He's breathing for the love of the queen!" I was cut off by the sudden shout of the people below. The medics rush from boat to boat just to give the rightful equipment, the first-aid that will make sure of his surviving chances. Both our eyes now look at the scene; we watch the people let their lips curve into a smile, thanking everything and everyone they could. They thank God, the lord, their Queen, the waters, the victim's heart, and the victim itself for surviving. Some eyes are beginning to water but decide to keep their tears to be shed later. Right now, the unknown man's survival is their top priority. Among the 9 that boarded, his heart is the only beating one.

"At least there's one good thing that happened." Lovi whispers. I smile.

"Yeah."

They quickly look for the injuries and remove some of his clothing so it wouldn't get glued to his burns. The man is completely knocked-out, his whole face black with soot, but at least it is recognizable he is blonde since the water manage to wash some of the dirt away.

We stay there as we watch the whole scene. We want to know, to make sure this man survives. It's not like we didn't review our assignment. I actually checked my list a few times before we got here. 3 souls for me, 5 for Lovi, but a little help with one won't hurt. A lady begins to check his heart-rate; another person is busy checking his injuries as they speed off for land where the ambulances are waiting. One guy begins to cleanse some of his wounds with a clean cloth. He wipes off any dirt that would probably hide his burns, his cuts and any other damaged skin. Slowly, the dirt on his face is carefully being wiped off and we could see details of what he looks like little by little.

His lips are almost white, so as his skin. He's extremely pale which is of course, because of the accident. His nose, not overly pointed like some Europeans. It's actually seems like a perfect bridged nose. I settle lower, Lovi stops me though but I pretend not to hear anything. I want to take a closer look at this man. Something at the back of brain tells me to, there's also this feeling that I have seen this face before.

His eyes, of course they are closed. I notice his long thin lashes which would closely resemble a girl's.

I move my hands to touch his face. I hear Lovi shout again but I completely ignore it.

Because I already know why my body is all tensed up.

"Damn it Alfred! What are you trying to do!" My hair is pulled back in pain making me gasp. Lovi has a deep frown on his face. "He's going to live, okay? We know that already besides he's not on the list! Now let's go!"

I look at him, and then I look back at the body beside me. And then my eyes land on Lovi again and I nod my head. "Let's go." I whisper and immediately I open my wings and speed up surprising my friend who now showers me with the words: '_Damn idiot!'_

I accelerate more, I know Lovi is having a hard time catching me but I didn't stop until I reach a fairly high place up in the clouds, almost a little close to where these souls are supposed to be delivered. In a matter of seconds Lovi reaches me and his hand finds its way to my face giving it a hard smack. "The hell Alfred! What are-"

"I need to go now!" I pass him the small faint orbs and they float along with the others already in his hands. He looks at them and then at me with disbelief.

"What! You're not gonna-"

I grip his shoulders and look at him in the eyes, and then the words come out very fast like meteors from my mouth. "Too much sea watching, another work on the other side, running late, I'm sorry bye!" I fly quickly downwards once again in a faster speed than when I was flying up.

Slowly, the view below is becoming clear, the familiar police tapes and medical teams are clear on my sight now. My eyes quickly roam around looking for any signs of the man from a while ago but I couldn't find any traces. I land on the sand, almost tripping but I quickly regain my balance. My neck stretches, trying to locate him as I pass through different people. But still no traces of him. _No, no Alfred you can't lose him! Not this time, not again!_

The sound of the ambulance siren shoots right on my ears and without any other thoughts, my wings open and I am soaring on the air again. My eyes are like an eagle's now, sharp and alert as I look for the ambulance. Some police cars had confused me with their sirens but fortunately, soon I am able to spot the speeding vehicle on the highway. I lower myself down and match my speed with it. The driver is surely hitting the gas hard. I stay on top of it, sometimes I try to lower myself at the sides to peak but I couldn't see anything. I just settle on top.

The ambulance hits the breaks as it reaches the hospital. The back door opens, doctors and nurses rush to his side as he is transferred into a bed with wheels. He is immediately rolled inside the emergency room, selected medics on his side as the others rush for equipment. I run to his side and hold his hand as I pray for his survival. I know he's not meant to die yet, but I need to make sure. Who knows? Someone else might actually be assigned for him. His death might only be a couple of minutes or hours ahead. Life is full of unnecessary surprises.

I couldn't understand any word the doctors say. I hear them use 'Internal bleeding', 'blood clot', 2nd degree burn on this side', and it sounds really bad to me. They even said he has water on his lungs still!

My hand grips his own tighter. I am letting him feel my touch; I am hoping he can feel it despite being asleep. There are liquids injected on his veins and it makes me feel worse. I can't attain to look at his hands with a needle inserted in it, connecting to some kind of water that hangs on his bed. I have no idea what is happening, I don't want to understand any of what they're doing. As long as they make sure he is safe and he will live, I have no problem with that.

* * *

The past 2 hours seemed like eternity to me. Those 2 hours that took just to conclude that he is now at least hundred percent away from death. If it's possible for me to die from a heart attack I think I would've already just because of extreme worry.

He is now in placed on his own room. I sit beside him on his bed, one arm supporting my weight as the other holds his hand, my fingers caressing it on my touch. I already am calm, and now I am able to think about everything that had just happened. I can't believe everything went by so fast and now here I am sitting and thinking about it all. Starting from recognizing his face, then passing half of my work to Lovi and telling him a lie. I really owe that guy! One day I'll do his work for him, but for now I'll just stay here, sit here and wait for him to open his eyes again.

I sigh as I look at his sleeping face. _So calm, and so angelic. _

Then I remember the very first time I saw him. That unforgettable day, when he had seized me with just the way his eyes land on my own. _Come to think of it, it was in a hospital too when I first met him. _And now we meet again, after such a long time, in a hospital somewhere in London.

I can't help but think like a high school girl like now. _This is fate; this is what you call destiny. I am meant to see him again right? Because we are made for each other right?_

He stirs in his sleep, shifts, and finally, his eyes open.

* * *

**Another chappie done... sleep sweet sleep awaits... **

**Forgive me for my grammatical errors and misspelled words and..uh yeah... I love you all.**

**sweet bed come to meee!**


	8. Chapter 8

**milk tea with egg pudding... **

* * *

I swallow hard as his lids flutter open slowly. The footsteps of the people from outside fades as I watch him slowly recover from his sleep. He opens them, but shuts them again so quick like there's a pain in his head. My thumb begins to rub against the top of his hand wanting him to know that someone is here with him, for him. He hand twitches a little from my touch, and he tries to open his eyes again. Slowly, slower than his first attempt his lids flutter and I could see his irises move, glancing at the different corners of the room, until it finally lands on me. I smile even though I know he couldn't see it. It just helps to at least lighten up the mood inside the room. And I can't really help but smile right now.

"Who are you?"

"Can't remember me anymore?"

"I haven't seen you before."

I blink in question at him, and he does the same. "Seen before?" I ask.

"Yes. It's the first time I've seen you. Or maybe, I met you before? You're voice is strangely familiar."

He stares at me, and that is when I realize how different the way he's looking at me is. It is different, because he's looking straight at my eyes, it's not the first time he looks at me in the eyes, but this is different. It's like; he really is focusing on my face, trying to read me, trying to familiarize himself.

"I met you before haven't I?"

"You could see me?" He nods his head faintly and his lids are beginning to drop once again, though his eyes still are on my own.

"I can sir…" I bite my lips, and place my hands on his eyes to close them. Sleep is pulling him away once again, but he's trying to fight it to talk to me more. When it's already convincing that he's already asleep, I pull my hand back and stare at his calm, and sleeping face. I don't know what to feel at the time. Should I be happy that he could see already? That he has seen me? Or sad because this might be the first and last time he'll see my face, or talk even. It'll be harder to lie, things will be a bit riskier than before too.

The door opens and a very worried guy suddenly enters and runs to his side, holding his hand and muttering something in a language I couldn't understand. With a final glance at the both of them, I walk outside the door and wander the corridors, confused and full of questions.

For now, I'll let him think that I was just a hallucination cause by the drugs injected in him.

* * *

It has been a week since he was released from the hospital. His burns and injuries are still there but are on the process of completely disappearing. He has a small scratch on the cheek, pretty deep but I hope it wouldn't leave a scar. His left hand is bandaged up to the wrist; I don't really know what happened there besides being badly burned. Though that is the reason that I learned he's a leftie. He had problems writing stuff when needed and holding his spoon on his right. Most importantly though, after being with him for weeks now, I found out he could already _see._ I've been following him, watching him since he was released, and now he's back at their condo unit. The one where he and his brothers live, though this time he's living alone now. I could tell, his stuff is the only ones present. No toys and comic books from Peter, no cigarette packs by Scott. Only his books, his tea, his beloved tea cups, some muffins, and of course his books and his specs _which I find to fit his beautiful face perfectly. _New look with those on his eyes, and he became a lot more attractive. _Sublime…_

I haven't showed myself yet, I don't know if I even have the guts to do it. _Show myself, make him see what I look like, make him see me._ I feel excited about the idea, but at the same time, I'm afraid with the 'what if's' that may come. What if he doesn't like me? What if he doesn't like my face? What if he doesn't believe it's me, the one he made friends with 6 months ago? Now is not the right moment, I'm not ready yet. My plan now, is to not let his get away from my sight, watch him. I know how stalker-ish I sound right now but I've got no other choice. My coward self is getting a hold of me right now. Patience is the only reliable thing at the moment.

Right now, I sit across him on the couch, another book on his hands. He seems to be absorbed in it, there's something in him that makes you want to just sit down and stare. He looks so serious and no one I think could disturb him or catch his attention. He doesn't even seem to feel my presence unlike other times. He would occasionally look my way with a question mark on the face when he doesn't find anyone to look at. I find myself laughing though, with the temptation of revealing myself but no. He turns another page with the same look on his face. I look at the ticking clock, only to find out it has already been an hour since I came here, since I sat here, and since I started watching him. It doesn't feel like an hour, it's like 'only minutes had passed. I sigh, only one more hour left and I will have to be leaving.

The phone suddenly rings and I hear his tongue click as he stand up and answer the phone which was placed on the table to the right side of the couch I am sitting on.

"Hello?" A smile crawls on his face after a few seconds. Curious to who's he talking with, I stand up and press my ear on the other side of the phone. His fingers flinch? Slightly as some of my hair brush on them, though he doesn't seem to make a big deal out of it, he doesn't mind.

"…_Swear in the name of the queen, I'll beat the guy's ass!" _

"No need brother, I already did." He lets out a small laugh on the other's voice. It is Scott that's on the phone. "Besides, you have work there, so you can't."

"_Forget about work! He tries to send you off to something again, he's toast!_"

"Get over it, he didn't mean to." He laughs again. I think I have an idea to who his brother is furious about.

"_Whatever! Anyway, you alright there alone? Why don't you just come back here?_" Scott's tone became calmer and light. He really is like this when it comes to his brother huh? Meanwhile, the spiral chord of the phone is being played by those slender fingers of his. My eyes watch this tiny movement.

"I'm alright, you worry too much brother." He says with a loving smile on his face which leaves me staring again. A sigh escapes on the other side of the phone.

"_Of course I do you twat! You know I… I…" _The voice on the other side seems to faint more, from a yell to a whisper.

"I know…"

"_Damn it I'm sorry…"_

"It's been years and years now, and you still break down from it._" _He chuckles, but both of his hands are shaking slightly. "It's never going to happen again. Nothing's going to happen okay?"

"_Something just happened lad! And I'm not there again!_"

"Oh come on, I didn't die right?"

"_Stop making this a joke you little shit._" Scott's voice returns back to normal. The grumpy, annoyed, and worried tone making his little brother relaxes and laughs again.

"Fine, fine."

"_I'm serious._"

"Of course you are." Another sigh comes from the other side of the phone.

"_Are you going back to work soon?_"

"Yeah, this coming Monday actually."

"_Please take care Arthur._" He nods his head and leans on the phone sweetly.

"I will brother."

"_Good_." He pauses for a while. "_I… I'll try to fly there as soon as I'm free._"

"I'll be waiting then." Another pause. I lift my head and look at Arthur. His eyes are closed with a sweet smile on his face. I could feel the same thing happening on the other side of the phone. A sudden feeling of contentment enveloped around, though both brothers don't want to end the conversation yet but it's obviously time to bring the phone down.

"_I need to go now. Boss's going to hit my ass hard."_

Arthur chuckles again. "You deserve it probably."

"_Bugger…_" Another laugh escapes both of them. "_Goodbye then lad. I'll be calling again soon._"

"Yeah, take care brother."

"_Don't worry about me. You take care of yourself…_" He lets out a small and agreeing sound before Scott says goodbye again and with a sigh, the conversation ends.

He puts the phone down gently with a small smile before sitting back down in his spot before, and holds his book then begins to read again. I remain standing though. I'll be leaving now. And for sure, my thoughts would be full of questions about their conversation. I have no idea what they were talking about, why does Scott seems so worried, scared also I think, for Arthur. Years, he said, what exactly happened for the past years? Does it involve Arthur being blind for 6 years or maybe there's more to that.

I sigh, I want to know. I'm curious and at the same time, I worry for Arthur too. I want to protect him for whatever Scott fears about.

Slowly, I step on the open window and let myself fall before opening my wings and ride the wind.

* * *

"You okay?" Gil pats me hard at the back. We just finished work and now chilling on top of some shoe store. "You're not listening to me are you?"

I look at him and my lips smile widely. "Nope!"

An arm immediately wraps around my neck and I just feel myself fall back, trapped in my friend's arm. I laugh when I get to see his face. He looks pissed, not so pissed but, he looks at me with his teeth grinding against each other. "You weren't listening? So I've been talking to no one all this minutes!"

"Not really, you can hear yourself can't you?" He lets go, but his hand slaps me hard at the back of my head, sending me forward.

"Damn you Alfred, I'm not going to repeat my awesome story for you. Your loss buddy!" I chuckle once more and he rolls his eyes. He leans back with his arms supporting him. "So, what were you thinking about?" He asks after my laughter dies.

"Why do you wanna know?"

"Well you must have a pretty good thing on your mind for ignoring me, blondie…" He glares at me, and I could tell he's not going to let me off this one so easily. Now what to say?

"Uh… I was just wondering about some stuff…" Gilbert raises a brow at me and I sigh. "Well, you know…" I look down at the oblivious people going on their own businesses. "Don't you wish to be like _them?_"

Gil's eyes widen and he sits straight as he looks at me and then at the people below. "Shizz, don't tell me you're planning to-" I shake my head instantly.

"No! No, no okay? I'm not gonna even try." _Or at least. For the mean time I won't… _He sighs in relief, his eyes stays on the humans below though. For some seconds, we just sit still and watch them do their own stuff. Kids with helmets, knee pads and whatever it is they're wearing are on their scooters, bikes, and roller blades, chasing each other on the streets and holding their own mini races. Some teen agers, either with their lovers or they're alone waling with earphones blocking any other sound from entering their ears. Then the happy family enters the picture, and then some business men and women with a styro-cup of coffee in their hands and briefcases on the other, sometimes their phones.

With an exhale, Gilbert finally breaks the silence.

"Why did you even ask that question Al? What exactly are you thinking about right now?" He asks in a low and serious voice. It's like this is not the loud and over-confident angel I know.

"Is it weird to say, I'm jealous?"

"At them? Then my answer is no." A few beeps from the cars echoed on the whole city. We're high up the establishment, and as the sun begins to cast her usual orange glow across the sky, the lights of London is starting to live.

"If you answer 'no', then are you feeling the same thing as well?" It takes him quite a while before he nods his head.

"Every angel does you know. And we all have our reasons for that."

"What's your reason then?"

"Aside from the shoes?" He chuckles and relaxes himself on his seat once more. "Basically, their life is awesome. They're free, they can do whatever they want, and they make their own decisions which they can do for millions of times, deciding whenever they want to." Then he turns his head to look at me. "How about you?"

I shrug my shoulders. "Everything you've just said, plus… They can love whoever they want." I curl up, my thighs touching my chest, and my arms on my knees. I place my chin on my arms and sigh. "Lucky bastards…" I mumble to myself, and also noting that Arthur isn't one of those bastards I just said.

Just as I am about to relax and close my eyes, a hand lands on my head, hitting me hard and making me raise it up in annoyance. How many times did I get hit for the day? I glare at Gilbert. "Damn you whitey! What was that-"

"Are you in love Alfred?" He leans so close to my face that I begin to get crossed-eyed. "Are you?" He asks again with his voice loud enough to shake me away from my drowsy state. But the question quickly sinks in and I just look at him without saying anything. Moments after, I laugh, thinking it's the only way to avoid the question, dodge it, and deny it. "What's so funny?" He asks and straightens himself away from my face.

"You. You're funny."

"And why am I funny? Alfred I know I'm not ugly!"

"I didn't say anything like that."

"Whatever! So, are you in love?"

"No!" _Yes! "_What made you think that?_"_ _Oh I know what made you think that!_ "Seriously? Geez Gil doesn't mean that I envy them for love, I'm like, totally over someone right now!" I continue to laugh, hoping this would sound convincing for him. He isn't a very sharp guy, but at the same time he's not dumb. Better not to be careless.

"You sounded like you are!"

"I do? Really now?" It's my turn to smack him in the head and making him roll forward. "Don't be silly. I'm just curious ya 'know!"

"Curious?" He asks while rubbing the part where I hit him.

"Yeah! Like, how does it feel like? To date someone and stuff… Walk hand in hand, and eat those ice creams and especially those burgers."

"Shoe shopping!" He exclaims and I laugh.

"You sound like a chick bro…"

"Shut up."

My laughter dies and there's silence again, both of watching them again and observing what they're doing.

"Have you thought of trying?" I ask him, and I get this 'are you crazy' look from him again. He sighs and lies down with his arms serving as his pillows.

"To be honest, yeah I did think about that years ago…"

"And why didn't you try it?"

"You know Mitchell?" I look at him with knowing eyes and nod my head.

"Nuff' said…"

Just her name is enough explanation really.

Mitchell, she was an angel. I met her a hundred years ago. Pretty long ago huh? But I could clearly remember her face. She's beautiful, very beautiful and a music lover. She carries a small lyre with her anywhere went. Actually, it's because of her I know how to play the guitar.

Then there was this one time, she weirdly disappeared. The souls assigned to her were roaming the streets, the houses, no one was fetching them. She just disappeared.

After a year though she was found.

And she was human.

Or, at least trying to be human. Happily, she walked with 2 other people, and when the other angels had stalked her, they found out that they were her family. She fell in love with a musician, and she conceived a kid. And that was forbidden.

Any contact unless desperately needed, with the humans is forbidden. What's more, she turned away from her duties, and she became part of their world, hid her wings from their sight. I actually was one of those who saw her mingling with them below, and I could tell how joyful she was. But unfortunately all has to end.

She was approached one time by one of the elders from above and forcedly took her back from the heavens, and they locked her up there when she tried to go back down and return to her family.

Her family's memory wasn't erased though, they had to bear with the idea of Mitchell missing, or probably Mitchell running away and abandoning them. The angel, locked in her golden jail could only watch and weep in place. She couldn't do anything. She suffered greatly.

Then she escaped. No one knows how she did that. They just found her saving the life of her son, who was due to die the day she escaped.

So, she saved him, appearing in the angel form in front of his dumb-founded husband. But he quickly recovered from his shock, and held Mitchell in his arms, he began crying. She was dying, breathing hard as the injuries that was supposed to be suffered by their son was passed on her. She began crying too, her son, merely a year old clueless of what's happening as she crawled and looked at her mother with the most innocent eyes.

She smiled, despite the tears that are escaping from her eyes. She died happy.

I was there, I saw everything.

That was the consequence of saving a human's life. You save them, you die in their place. Everything must be balanced.

The cold wind messes my hair so I decided to lie back down too and stare at the sky. There were hints of purple and gold on the clouds, and the lights of the city became brighter as the sun slowly sinks down.

"She's brave, she died happy… I admire her for that." Gilbert whispers and I nod my head. "I don't think I can do the same thing though."

I remain silent and close my eyes.

My body shivers but not from the cold breeze that passes us…But because of the thought _that I might end up like her as well._

* * *

**Tristram... I'm coming for you!**

**My eyes hurt.. -_-"**

**anyway... woo feel free to point out mistakes,... open to suggestions too! XD**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you very much to those who had it on their favorites and story alerts and especially those reviews~ dundundun!**

* * *

Monday came fast and here I am as usual, trailing behind Arthur's back. I'm curious to what his work is so I decided to follow him. He rides on a bicycle, pedalling unexpectedly fast that I feel nervous for him. He passes through people, narrow ways, crosses the street on the last minute before the light turns green again. He's not wearing any helmet either. Is that legal? I don't really know. Didn't his brother tell him to be careful? _Oh Arthur…_

He pulled over in front of the local library, chaining his bike on the lamp post along with the two other bikes. With a smile, he walks inside the wooden doors of the library which surprisingly is big and spacious. It doesn't look enormous from the outside so it really is unexpected to see tall shelves and wide tables filling the space.

"Arthur?" An old woman's voice calls out, disturbing the supposed to be silent place. Hopefully there aren't any people in here yet. Seems to be closed still. Arthur jumps from the voice; I admit I am quite surprised to hear someone suddenly shouting his name. We both stop in our tracks as a figure of woman approaches our direction. She's fat, her hair is brown though I can tell it's just dye, the roots ore already grey. She has tied in a clean bun. She's wearing a dress that hangs up below her knees, and some black flat shoes. "My goodness! That's you right? Where are my glasses when I need them?" I see Arthur smile and walk towards her. She is walking very carefully with her poor eyesight; her eyes narrow as she tries to look at him.

"It's me ma'am." She gives the woman a gentle hug and she returns it immediately with a tighter one, probably squishing Arthur.

"Oh lad! It's been 3 weeks! I'm so happy to have you here again! And stop with the 'ma'am' thing! Didn't I told you to just call me Mrs. Derby!" She says in a very loud voice in the middle of giggles.

"Sorry I forgot."

"Oh it's alright my dear, hah I missed you!"

"I missed you too ma—Mrs. Derby."I watch them have their small reunion and can't help but smile. Arthur is really loved huh? It's not me who only appreciates him so much, unfortunately I can't express it. She lets go of him and pulls his face close to her with her eyes observant and narrowing more. Arthur gasps and his face can't be read. He looks nervous but he's not. I chuckle and decide to sit down on the table as I watch them. His cheeks are being squeezed by the fat woman's palms making his lips look like a fish's. "Are you alright now? My goodness have you grown thinner? You've grown thinner my boy!"

"I'm alright now." He manages to say before his face gets turned left and right repeatedly and then up.

"I can't see you clearly. I forgot where I put my glasses, pity I can't see your handsome face for now." She pouts and Arthur smiles at her. I find myself smiling as well when he pulls two shining glasses from her head, removing some strands of hair that got tangled on it. All this time it was on her head, she might've forgot about placing those there. It's a lot more bigger and rounder compared to the rectangular specs he's wearing.

"Here." She puts them on for the woman with a very sweet smile on his face. He's like a loving son of hers. Suddenly I had the urge to hug him, and knowing that I can't, I end up looking at the tiled floor, scratching the back of my head.

"On my head? I'm really old, oh dear." She pushes her glasses up on the bridge of his nose and looks at Arthur again. "Goodness, is that a wound on your cheek?" She pulls him again close to her face and looks at the scratch on his cheek. It's healed but it still is there, not really a scar, but a dried up cut.

"It's already healed. I'm sure it will be gone in a few days time."

"Oh I hope so." She reaches up on her tip toes just to ruffle his hair. "Well, ready up now Arthur! I'll open this in a minute! Oh will you be fine by yourself?" He nods his head and gives the woman another hug making her chuckle. "I will be fine of course; I'm always fine am I not?" I roll my eyes. _Always? _I pout. _Are you sure about that Arthur?_

"Of course you are my dear. " She giggles. They let go immediately and Arthur smiles as he walks away as she on moves with a chuckle towards the big table and begins arranging the items on her desk. I walk briskly behind Arthur to catch up.

* * *

If only the other stalkers in the world knew of my existence and my actions, they would've envied me so much now. Stalking is hard, it's hard to hide yourself, prevent from being seen. And here I am standing behind him, peeking at what he is trying to read. I don't understand what the words mean though. They sound so ancient for me. I've never been a fan of books or poetry, arts of letters and those kinds.

"…_And Muses nine point out to me the Bears.  
__  
__Ye other few who have the neck uplifted  
__  
__Betimes to th' bread of Angels upon which__"_

Uh… what? I sigh and reread the lines more but I really couldn't understand a thing it's trying to say. There were bears? And then there were angels? Where in the world could there be bears and angels? Not to mention the bread part.

The book shuts close with a crisp sound making me jump a little in surprise. All my concentration gone now. Arthur smiles and turns to Mrs. Derby.

"Mind if I borrow this for a while?"

"You know I wouldn't mind you borrowing a hundred books at the same time Arthur."

"Thank you!" He stands up place the book somewhere on the shelf behind as she chuckles and turns around, continuing her work. "I'll come back for this later." He says and keeps the book intact along with other books on it.

"Excuse me? May I ask if you have music sheets in here?" The three of us turn our head to the unknown girl's voice. Upon turning, Arthur immediately flashes a sweet smile and I do not fail to notice how that smile made the girl's face flush pink. I roll my eyes, may be rude but she can't see me so I roll them. I think this is what the others mean by being immature or something. I don't really care.

"We have of course, I'll take you there."

"Ah! No need really! You could just tell me where-"

"Don't worry; it's my job after all." He steps out and proceeded to walk. "Follow me." She nods her head with her face still pink. I could see it very clearly. I wonder if Arthur does though.

It's like a maze in here, we turn around shelves and table many times. There are a lot more people than what I had expected there will be, all huddled in their own corners. The tables are long with many chairs beside each other, there are also beanbags on some corners for children I think.

"Here we are! All you about music is in here." We stop in front of a very bug built in shelf sticking closely on the wall. I stare up at it in awe. Who knew that music could be written in these many books?

"So, what exactly are you looking for?"

She shows a piece of paper to Arthur and before I could even peek on it he takes it with a small smile and walks away for a while. I am about to follow him but he appears quickly pushing a platform ladder towards the shelf, climbs up with ease and gets down after a minute of searching.

"This is it right?"

"Yes, thank you sir." He hands the book to him and the quick brushing of their fingers makes her all flustered again. I sigh and look at Arthur who seems to be oblivious to the fact that she _likes him._ I can tell! Oh I can tell it! But whatever, it's a good thing he's like that.

He goes back to the main counter after she leaves with her knees shaking slightly. _Finally she leaves…_ I can't believe I'm acting and saying things like that.

"She likes you my dear." Mrs. Durby says without lifting her head from the pile of papers she's signing.

"She doesn't, she's just shy and all that."

"You're just wasting that pretty face of yours if you keep blinding yourself like that." I nod my head in agreement. She's right.

"I'm not blinding myself ma'am-"

"Mrs. Derby

"Yes, Mrs. Derby, I'm not blinding myself from anything." He answers with a smile and she rolls her eyes. He sits beside her and begins arranging some kind of book list.

"You keep telling me that too. I don't know if you are just very innocent to these matters or…" She pauses and turns around to face Arthur."Or maybe… You already have someone in _there._" She pokes at his chest, meaning his heart. _Could it be? Yes, it's a possibility. Arthur may have met someone else already and… I don't even want to think about it. _

"What gave you that idea?_" _He chuckles. "There isn't anyone."

"You're a bad liar."

"I'm not lying. There really isn't… someone else right now…" His voice becomes softer at the end of the sentence. Obviously there is someone. My heart feels very heavy right now but I can't attempt to leave just yet.

"Else? I knew it! You have someone and that person; I'm guessing you like that person for a long time now." She claps her hands with a wide smile. She's pretty lively than any other people I've seen. "So, may I hear your story? Girl or boy? Looks?"

"I was literally blind back then so I never saw him." He whispers and his hands stop working. Then there's this familiar smile on his face, the smile I kept seeing six months ago. A heavy smile and I know Mrs. Derby could feel the heaviness as well. "I never regret meeting him though. He made me… happy during those dark days of my life."

"Oh…" She says and sits straight back with her hands on her work again obviously not knowing what to say. Arthur notices the sudden change of attitude though and smiles brightly again, a somewhat cover up for his sudden sadness from a while ago.

"You don't need to frown ma'am; I wasn't particularly feeling sad or anything like that." _Yeah right. You call that smile being happy then? _I begin chewing on my lips. I know it, I know it myself that despite the fact he likes someone else already, I'll never get myself to go nowhere near him. So I stand here, leaning my back behind his chair. "And I don't really mind you asking questions, if that's what you're worrying about."

She nods her head and smiles at him. The rest of the day, there has been this soothing silence all around the place with only the sounds of books closing and pages turning.

* * *

See? See! I knew I can't keep myself away from him. I can't keep myself from standing behind him, following him on every bookshelf, following him to his home, and sitting in front him silently as he reads a book or does whatever he feels like doing. Is it a sin to peek at him while he's relaxing naked on the tub? All I see are his legs and his arms, his face, that's all. And it's not like I intended to see more so it's not wrong right? I feel like punching myself in the face, literally jumping on the highest building on the world if only it would kill me! He loves someone else, I keep telling myself that and here I am being the loser I can be. My hands keep scratching the back of my head, of not they tangle with my hair just to let go of this heavy feeling. I'm sad, so sad and I knew this day would come but until now I can't believe this is happening to me, really for damn's sake.

_I love him don't I? Of course I do, stupid question to ask_.

I sit outside the bathroom, just beside the door waiting for him to come out. I hug my knees and close my eyes, thinking. _Should I do something? Should I? Should I show myself? Should I make myself visible to him? Would I regret it if I did? Or will I regret it that I never did make him see me? Is that the right thing to do? What if I'm that someone? What if I'm not? I'm fooling myself aren't I? I'm such a stupid angel aren't I? So, why not be stupid till the end and show myself? Will I regret it? Will I not regret it? What will happen next if ever? __Will it be worth trying? It's better to have done something than never acted right?_

The door opens, a few drops of water stains the carpeted floor and I watch as a pair of feet step out. My eyes crawl up and there's him with this glorious look. Wearing a towel on his waste, _only _a towel. My cheeks are warm now and I couldn't help but smile. _I'm an idiot after all._

So I make up my mind, just the sight of him, just him standing there in front of me doing nothing but dry his hair, I stand up and walk away. Out of his room, pass the living room, out the door of his home. And then I stand there with my back facing the door. I look up the ceiling and then left and right. The hallway is empty. I close my eyes after a minute. _I'm an idiot. _I repeat it. _I am a big idiot, and will always be a big, big idiot. I'll probably be the most idiotic angel living right now. _And with another sigh I remind myself again. _I am stupid, forever an idiot. _What a way to make me feel better again huh. I chuckle. _It doesn't matter really now, doesn't matter…_

I turn around facing the door with a smile on my face. My heart is surprisingly calm, and I feel like I'm going to do the right thing. _Or maybe it's because I am an idiot. _My hand rises up, a finger presses on the small button beside the door and I hear a faint chime like sound coming from the inside. Faint footsteps getting louder and louder, and the door opens, green eyes look up at me and with a calm voice I ask…

"Hey, remember me?"

_..._

_I'll never regret being an idiot…_

* * *

**Shortest chapter I think?  
**

**I enjoyed writing the 'idiot' part haha! I feel so smart lol. I'll edit the mistakes and misspellings... uh, tomorrow? Or the next day, and the next day, and the next day...  
**

**Question! Anyone who knows where I can read the Hetalia dounjishi "the last rose part 3" ? T_T! ****Those who haven't read it yet, it's awesoooome! Cardverse awesomeness .**

**Suggestions and violent reactions are highly appreciated thank you very much.**


	10. Chapter 10

**nyan~****nyan~****nyan~****nyan~****nyan~****nyan~**

* * *

"Hey, remember me?"

He shakes his head with slight confusion on his face. I don't blame him though. "I don't sorry. May I ask who you might be?" He asks with a very calm voice, not even a hint of suspicion or indifference.

"You really don't recognize me?"

He looks at me more and frowns. "I don't recognize your face, but I have the feeling that we've met each other before. Am I wrong?" This time I shake my head and he smiles again. "Then, who are you?"

"Find out for yourself?" I grin with a little idea forming in my head. A thought that may cause him to kick me away and bang the door against my face or… I'm over reacting.

"Eh?" He blinks his eyes several times looking confused, more like a clueless child and I chuckle. Before he could even say anything I clear my throat and began talking again, all ready for my little act.

"_I'm a visitor and I got lost and I uh, ended up here." _I say and try to look like a kid who's lying to his parents, with the hand-head scratching and all earning a more confused look from him.

"Uh, what was-"

"_I like your eyes I was passing by one day and then I saw your eyes and it's rare for me to see such an eyes colour and I came here to see it again!_" I say as fast as I could looking so defensive and my hands waving on his face which causes him to lean back a little.

"What are you talkin-"

From a panicked face, I change my expression to a somewhat sorry and very apologetic face. "_Don't worry I'm not a freak or a stalker or anything like that… You're mad now aren't you?_" He looks at me with his mouth slightly open.

"Mad? Well I-"

My face changes again with a sad one but with the tone of my voice sadly excited (Is that possible? I'll make it possible). "_Hey, you know what? I saw a cat a while ago_…"

One of his eyes twitch…"A.. uh.. a cat?"

"_Yes a cat! And you know what? The cat was standing up on a very tall tree!_"

"Um.. And?"

"_No…_" The excitement in voice disappears. "_I couldn't save the cat… So it fell…_" He nods his head slightly but I could see he's starting to get freaked out by what I'm doing. Hopefully he doesn't push me away.

"So, uh… What's your point?"

"_Blonde hair…_" I mutter. And he looks at me with disbelief. From cats to a hair colour? Anyone would think stupid of the person they're talking with. "_Blonde like yours, just a little sunny in colour though_."

"Excuse me?"

I keep talking as if I'm conversing with someone, like I'm answering questions from another person present. "_Blue… Yes_, like the clear blue sky." He remains standing and looking at me. His face is serous now and the big question mark appearing on his face. I can tell he's interested for some reason. I hope that what I'm doing would work. I keep rambling though, ignoring his looks and my nervous heart. "_Fave food, oh! Burgers! Drink? Coffee! Fave colour?_" I stop and look at him in the eyes as I lean forward just a little with a small and innocent smile. "_Recently, it has been green…_" His eyes widen but he doesn't say a thing and keep the staring on. Does he know I'm basing the colour from his eyes? Whatever. So I continue…

"_Oh… The coffee is done now? I haven't noticed…_" My voice is low. And then I close my eyes as I picture ourselves once more, that day, the first time I made my feelings a little obvious enough for suspicion, and then I whisper in the most gentle and airy way just like how I said it that day.

"_I missed you…_" I hear him swallow hard and then I look at him. It's quite pleasing to see his cheeks be tainted with the faintest colour of red. Before he could even react I change the mood again. "_Do you believe in angels?_" He averts his eyes away and looks somewhere else, whatever he can find along the empty hallway. "_I never knew that such a perfect moment exists… It's been a month now you know? September 21__st__… Yes I've been keeping track._"

I reach out a hand and touch his hair; he flinches and looks at my hand to see what I had taken when I pull my hand back. "…_They sent feathers everywhere…_" He touches his own hair seemingly looking for a feather. If I could only let out even the smallest of laughs right now. But the show must go on. "_I have my own human blubbers._" He looks at me straight in the eye again… And then he smiles, the smallest but visible smile as a brow rises. Is my plan working? Or is he thinking what kind of mental hospital would let a freak like me on the lose? Who the hell would tell a person he has human blubbers? Anyway I can't back down now. I must finish what I had started.

"_You'll miss my arms? Dude I have no plan on cutting them you know I…_" I whisper again and he looks down the floor with his arms crossed on his chest. He leans slightly on the side. "_Don't' tell me-_"

"_Shh…_" A finger touches my lips to my surprise as he close his lids and now it's my turn to look confused. I failed didn't I? He's fed up with this confusing act isn't he? He wants me to shut up because all of these are nonsense for him. He wants me gone right now doesn't he? Because I'm such an idiot, and I just humiliated myself, believing in- "_Shh…_"

"What-"

"_I'll miss that too…_" And now I really am in shock… "_I'll miss that big mouth of yours too… Now, where? New York. Why? Brother's job, company wants him there, and lastly… Yes I'm serious no joke…_"

It worked didn't it? It worked, I'm sure because let me be struck by a lightning and hopefully die if his words are just a big coincidence or whatever! I let myself smile once again as I lean closer, not really touching but close enough for both of us to hear our own whispers… My mouth moves on its own. "_You're very important to me you know…_"

"_You're very important to me as well… I owe you a lot…"_

"_Thanks for everything…"_

"_Thanks as well…"_ He pauses and opens his eyes to meet mine. "_I'll miss you a lot… I really will…_"

"_I'll miss you too…I'll miss you forever…_" I let out sigh. It really worked. How awesome is that, and more importantly, how awesome is this! I swear I could feel my heart ready to explode any time because of this, happiness thing but I won't let it though. Too early to explode and leave a dirty mess.

"You are an idiot…"

"I know." I chuckle.

With a content smile, with content smiles actually for he is smiling too, I lean on the side coolly as well and ask. "So… Who am I?"

To my surprise, to my pleasant surprise, he throws himself towards me and with a comforting tight hug I hear him say my name…

"_Alfred…"_

* * *

I'm an angel, I have wings, I can fly, I came from heaven, I've been to paradise, I've got very good friends, I've no enemy, I live in heaven, I live a awesome and happy life, and I met this guy, and he left, And he came back, and here I am now letting myself be pampered by him and in the hundred years of my existence this is the first time I truly experienced heaven. And I could proudly say, I am the luckiest stalker, watcher, hopeless romantic, day dreamer, one-sided lover in the whole world, universe, and if there's anything bigger than that, I am the luckiest of it all. And to add up to that, I guess I'm the happiest now though I can't say I'm the luckiest angel. What I've done, this showing myself, talking to him and all, I know I've just dug my own misery hole and it would continue to grow deeper and deeper as time passes by, and when everything ends I'll be trapped inside it. But I just couldn't afford to care right now, I can't, I don't want to think about the ending just yet when everything is just beginning. Too early to ruin this joyful moment so I let my mind block out any negative stuff.

"Here, sorry I took long." A cup of coffee is set down in front me made by the one and only Arthur.

"Thanks! You shouldn't have bothered."

"You still say things like that eh?"

"Good to know you still remember the things I say."

"Good to know you still remember me…" He says with a smile as he walks back to the kitchen. "I honestly didn't expect this."

"Me neither." I shrug my shoulders. "But you know, I hoped this day would come. Never stopped hoping…I thought you had forgotten me actually." The last line turned into a whisper.

"I never did forget you." He chuckles.

"And why is that, you love me too much?" I ask with a teasing tone. _Okay, now why in the name of bummers did I ask him that?_ I don't know what answer I'm expecting or what I really want to hear but I ask anyway. My cheeks are a little bit warm now though.

"No reason to forget you…" He chuckles. "And yeah, maybe I love you too much?"

Now my cheeks are warmer… And now what to say? My little _joke_ just hit me in the face. I let out a kind of awkward laugh just to cover up my embarrassment. He returns with his own cup of tea, the sweet smell mixing with Arthur's own rosy scent. I can't help but smile, I never did thought I would smell this familiar thing again, as weird as it sounds. I've already accepted my weird side over the years.

A bowl of oatmeal and chocolate chip cookies are settled on the table and I don't hesitate on taking one and biting it down till there's nothing. _It tastes awesome. _And my hand finds its way back to the bowl and getting another piece. "Artie this tastes good, did you make these?" I ask without bothering to swallow everything first, I hope he doesn't mind me acting like this though.

"I just bought that from the small bakeshop downstairs yesterday." He says with a frown. "I don't have a talent in the Kitchen so I just buy food outside, gobble it up here."

"No talent?" I manage to swallow the last cookie. _Oh, I've eaten it all up haven't I?_ I just realize after seeing none left when I intend to get another one. "Well, did you even try baking or cooking once?" He smiles and nods his head.

"Of course, I actually tried baking yesterday, failed, and ended up buying cookies."

"Do you still have them?"

"Yeah, on the counter. I was about to throw them away today." I waste no time standing up and running towards the kitchen counter with Arthur jerking up in surprise. He chases after me, telling me to stop and don't I dare do whatever I'm thinking about. I just laugh him off though, one, because he's acting cute, two, because he looks cute being teased like this.

When I spot the small bowl of what I think are chocolate cookies, I quickly grab it, shielding it carefully with my other arm. Just when I am about to run away again though, Arthur is already across the other side of the table with the advantage of blocking both ways on both sides.

"Will you please put that down?" He says biting his lips.

"Nope! And I'm tasting one!" I take one and wave it in the air, his face getting redder is just amusing.

"No! Don't you dare eat that bloody thing!" I smile wider and inched the cookie closer to my mouth. "Alfred!" He shouts and I laugh before finally letting the food fall into my mouth and begin chewing. His own palms hit him in the forehead before letting out a big sigh. I keep smiling at him though, even if slowly, the taste I've been expecting turns a little bad.

"Hey Artie?"

"What?" His voice seems lifeless.

"This is not a chocolate cookie isn't it?

"Bloody no." He walks beside me and takes the bowl away from my reach. "Those are vanilla cookies, well supposed to be vanilla cookies…" He clicks his tongue. "Tastes bad huh? I tried to stop you, don't blame me."

"Oh come on, they're just a bit, burned. Burned is all! They taste actually good." And I'm not lying about that. They're really just badly burned. He shakes his head, unconvinced by what I said and gives me a glass of water.

"You just mistook them for chocolate cookies, and then you tell me they're good?" Arthur rolls his eyes and proceeds to throwing away the rest of the cookies before I could even stop him.

"You shouldn't have thrown them Artie. I wanted to keep them." I pout.

"You know, I thank you for at least trying to make me feel better about my cooking, but it's better being honest. Ah, now you look like a child." He chuckles and wipes off something on the corner of my lips with his thumb.

He wipes off something on the corner of my lips with his thumb.

He wipes off something—_Dear mother of twits, he's so close!_

"Why wouldn't it cooperate with me?" He asks particularly no one as his brows curve in concentration and his face _nearing my own closer that I could feel his warm breath. Should I be happy with this? _He pulls me closer with my face, his other hand gripping-_yes, gripping-_ my other cheek and his thumb presses on whatever it is more. I hold his wrists gently just for him to at least stand steady, he's on his toes. It's just that he's cutely small, or I'm awesomely tall for him. I'll settle with the first one.

I think after removing whatever dirt is on my skin is, it'll turn red- from so much wiping and blushing. Did I just say blushing?

"And it's gone." He whispers and sighs with relief.

"Th-thank you… I guess?" I say with an awfully low voice. His eyes look straight up at me and with the way it widens, I could tell he has no idea he had been very close at my face, and his hands on my cheeks make it a little more embarrassing.

"You're… welcome…"He doesn't pull away immediately though, and just stare right up me. Of course I don't move back. Why would I? I feel like we've never been away from each other for a long, long, time. 6 months is long, longer than one would expect if you've been separated with someone you really love you know? We just met again, and now look what kind of… position we're into.

And then I remember, _he likes someone else…_

So there's no choice, even if I didn't want to, I am the first one to move and pull away. I hold his wrists and place them down back to his sides and step away with a laugh. "Well, I'm such a messy eater aren't I?" I look at him and see him standing still and looking at the floor with a very small smile on his face. And I smile too, because the smile I'm seeing right now is genuine, real, and very sweet.

"Yes you are…" He pauses and looks at me. "_Git…_"

* * *

The next day I visit Arthur again. Can't afford to waste any time on anything else right?

We sit on the couch, and somehow I was able to force Arthur on showing me some pictures of his. He seems to be fond of keeping pictures."

"This is my younger brother Peter." He points small kid on his lap who is grinning from ear to ear. "He just turned 15 last March."

"15! He's… small!" I

"Of course he's small! This picture was taken last 2 years ago."

"But he looks 8 in here!" _And he looks 10 the last time I saw him! _Of course there's no way telling him that.

"I know, but puberty just hit him in the face and he's above my shoulder now." He rolls his eyes and takes another picture. This time it's the three of them with Arthur at the middle. He points at the tallest man which I know very well. "This one here is the eldest of us three. Scott's the name." He smiles. "He's very grumpy, but at the same time very, very kind. He usually scares other people off, and he's overly protective when it comes to us." _I know that, I've seen it._ I smile at the memory of Scott tucking Arthur to bed.

"Why is his hair red?"

"Dye. Originally he's blonde like me and Peter. He keeps on blabbering about red suiting him much better than corn hair." Arthur laughs and gets another picture.

"This is Francis; he's a friend of mine since high school, my best friend too. He's a year older than me though." He points at the tall man beside him on the picture and I think I do recognize this guy. He looks like one of the friends that come to visit Arthur at the hospital back then, and the one who came rushing in the first time Arthur woke up. Long blonde, shoulder length hair and flashy clothes. Yup, he's the one.

"He's a frog you know, I like him anyway."

"You like him?" He likes him? I also ask myself. Maybe he's the one Arthur was talking about back at the Library, but then he also mentioned not seeing him yet.

"Of course, he's my best friend after all."

"I see." He takes another picture, points at some people, tells me about them and smiles. He may insult them sometimes but he ends up saying he likes them all. And for some reason every time he says he likes this person, that person, I always ask him, _you like him? You like her? _And he laughs with the same reply. _Of course, why wouldn't I? _Then I would laugh. _Of course, why wouldn't you?_

And at the end of the day before I finally leave…

"Hey Artie? How about me? Do you like me?"

He smiles.

"Of course… I like everything about you."

I smile and take my leave with his smiling face flashing on my thoughts.

_At least I got a different answer._

* * *

**My cat was under the table when I was typing this,scratching my foot and now it's bleeding. -_-**

**For the grammar mistakes and misspelled words and lame chapter, please feel free to blame the cat. (I'm serious.)**

**I will now fly away... I'm currently banned from the net. Can't afford to be caught. O.O (And I took the risk of writing these down, lol. So hardcore DX)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11? Are you kidding me? Woooah! Achievement dude! Achievement!**

* * *

The sun is bright. Actually it seems to shine brighter than any other rare sunny day here. Despite the warmth it brings, cold wind would make the temperature balance, enough for people to enjoy the weekend. Sundays are somewhat the best time for families to enjoy the company of each other after a long work of 6 days for parents, and 5 days of school for the children. The parks are crowded with families, and group of friends who are obviously happy with each other's company. Couples walking hand in hand with ice cream and cotton candy on their free palms, smiling like this is the happiest day in their life with their lovers. I smile to myself as I see the happiness of Sunday. For a few minutes now I'll be as happy as they are as well.

I remember Arthur asking me a question that caught me off guard.

"_Why aren't you wearing any shoes?_"

"_Oh uh… Well.. I saw you on the street and then I had to make sure it was you and so I ran and the shoes somehow slipped off and well tada! Thanks for letting me know._"

And so the next day I remember asking Gilbert for shoes…

"_What do you need'em for?_"

"_Let's just say I realized how awesome you look in those and thought maybe it would fit me as well?_"

That worked. Awww yeah!

As I soar the sky, I hear the cooing of pigeons to my sides. For some reason I find myself in the middle of their group and enjoying their company. As the heavy wind blows I steady my wings and let myself be carried and I feel as light as my feathers. The pigeons do the same and I chuckle at them when they even follow me as I descend a little lower, catching the top of the condominium Arthur's staying at.

As I near a little more, I glide sideways, waving goodbye to the birds who had kept me company on my trip here a bit late in the morning. A loud coo is what I get as a response and I laugh. Birds are such amazing creatures, aren't they?

I stop at Arthur's big glass window (as always) on the living room which he has left open. I peek in, entering half of my body as look for any signs of him. I hop inside fully. My wings folding close and becoming invisible automatically as soon as my feet touched the carpeted floor. Not a sound can be heard though, but I know he's here. Someone as responsible as Arthur will never leave the windows open even if his home is 42 floors above the ground. I take the liberty to hop inside and look for him. Usually in weekends like this I would find him sitting quietly on the soft L-shaped couch, sometimes he's lying on his back, and on his hands is a thick book which is half-way open already. Then an atmosphere of 'do-not-disturb me is enveloping him. If no reading, the T.V. would be open and he would be either drinking tea, or sleeping. T.V. bores him, I can say.

Just last Sunday, I caught him sleeping on the couch with half of his body close to falling off. I had to push him gently back then. Then I ended up watching T.V. with a sleeping Arthur and well, I waited for him to wake up before going out the door and ringing the doorbell.

Anyway, where is he now? The kitchen's empty too. He's not into cooking trials for now.

Maybe he's in his room? I quietly walk towards his bedroom door and stick my ear on it, hoping to catch the slightest of sounds. When I heard none, I open the door as gently and slowly as possible. He might be inside sleeping or just relaxing on his bed. I can't just barge in and scare him and let him think it's the wind that opened the door.

I peek inside, my head first and let my eyes move around. The bed is neatly arranged and the light is turned off. The glass window on his room is open as well and the loose thin curtains fly with the constant breezes of the wind. I welcome my whole body inside and shut the door close carefully without any sound. _Where is Arthur? _I decide to sit down on his bed. It's so soft like you're sleeping on pure cotton. I let my back fall and my body slightly bounces. I giggle like a child at the moment. _I wonder if Arthur does this too? _There's this childish part of him and I had seen it quite a few times. I close my eyes, arms laying by my sides. I inhale deeply and the scent of roses fills my nostrils._ So very Arthur… _I smile and open my eyes again. Then it roams around Arthur's room. It has been a long while since I had been inside here and I never really get to observe properly since Arthur of course would be stealing the view away from my sight, and my eyes would focus on him.

Little rays of the sun enter from the window and touches Arthur's glasses which is why I notice it. Since he left it here he must be somewhere around his home. He always wears those glasses and removes them only when he sleeps or takes a bath. _How weird for me to know that huh? _I take the glasses and open them, raising them on angle in front my eye. I wonder how it's like to wear this thing on? With a bit of hesitation I slip them on my face. _Whoa, everything's a blur! _I can't see clearly, and for some reason the whole place seems a lot bigger. It's like I'm looking on a super magnifier thing. I stand up and take a step while looking at my feet with each step I try to take and balance myself. Little by little I walk in circles and then I laugh. How weird is that? I think I feel a little dizzy walking in circles with a very complicated sight. Is Arthur's sight really that bad? I sigh and take the glasses off, wiping them with my clean shirt and folding them back to where they were before just beside the medium sized picture frame.

I lean closer. Arthur wasn't able to show this to me yet. The sun is making the glass shine so I just take it in my hands to have a better look.

I could tell who's who on the picture, though not all of them. There are five people and the three at the middle from left to right is Peter, Arthur, and then Scott who seems to enjoy the moment. It's the first time I see Scott have a very wide and carefree smile on his face. Arthur as always smiles so innocently and sweet. Peter looks like the happiest person on the world. They look very young in here. Probably 7 years ago?

There are two other people behind the three of them. A man and woman who both have blonde hair. The man has blue eyes, they're like mine, only darker. His hair is all messy just like the three siblings. His eyebrows are kind of thick too but doesn't make him look bad. And he's smiling at the camera casually, one hand on Scott's shoulder. The woman who's holding Peter's head as if forcing him to face the camera has the same sweet smile as Arthur. Bright emerald eyes shining with happiness too. Her long blonde hair is being carried by the wind. What a perfect timing. She looks like the female version of Arthur.

_Are they their parents? _

With the big similarities I could tell that they are. I notice small numbers below the picture… _10/14/1994… _No wonder it seems a little old. The shot was taken last 7 years ago.

The picture is overflowing with happiness. The perfect family, one may say for it really seems to be perfect. It's just an old picture with 5 people smiling, unmoving, and yet just by looking at it you could feel your heart beat lighter and it's like you're part of the picture and you could feel whatever it is that these people are feeling. I smile and then I sigh. What a wonderful family Arthur came from. For him to smile so carefree like that, and so sweet. That smile from years ago which is rarely seen now. Scott and Peter's also. I want to know more about them, especially about Arthur. What really happened back then? What made Arthur lose his sight and Scott to act grumpy and over-protective towards his siblings. I can feel it, there's something. I want to ask Arthur but I'm not sure how he will react. I can't afford to see his frowning face. I grip the frame tighter as I look at it more.

I suddenly hear loud footsteps and a door closing making me stand up and place the picture back on the table very quickly. I jog to the door and press my ear on it just like minutes ago and yes there are indeed footsteps. Arthur's here, I'm right. Maybe he was just on the bathroom when he was gone? I don't really know. Then the sound of the T.V. shatters the silence of his home and his footsteps seem to sound fainter, indicting he is nowhere near this door right now. Slowly I open it and peek to make sure he's not somewhere near here. I see him, his back facing me while he does or prepares something on the kitchen. I close the door again and walk towards the open window of his room. I glance back at the picture and smile. Then I jump, my wings feeling the warm sun again together with the cold air. It's really a nice day.

Off to the main door!

* * *

_Arthur smiles at me and hands me the cup of coffee he made especially for me. "I hope it's to your liking." He says and I smile a brighter smile at him as he leaves again, I guess to make himself his favourite tea and prepare the scones he bought at his favourite café and bakery a few blocks from here. He always tells me about how good the food and beverages are in the particular shop. I would love to actually go with him there, and he asked me once before but I refused much to my own disappointment. It's for the better anyway. I just tell him I'm better of spending time alone with him and drinking the coffee he always makes for me. It is also a lot quieter than the world outside his home._

_He comes back immediately still with his sweet smile on his face. It never left I think. He sits comfortably beside me as he takes a sip from his cup with gracefulness I had always admired. Tea does make him relax, I can see that just from his shoulders and soft breathes after drinking it. _

"_So, you're here again." He slowly brings down the half empty cup on the table and looks at me._

"_Of course…" I chuckle and bring my arms around his shoulders. "Can't afford to have you miss me too much." He laughs. Such sweet laughter. We both laugh and he leans on my shoulder as the soft laughs die._

"_Who said anything about missing you?"_

"_Nothing's needed to be said. Quite obvious ya 'know."_

_He raises a brow. "Obvious that I miss you?"_

"_Yup." I nod my head and then place it carefully on top of his own. The smell of shampoo lingers. "You wouldn't be cuddling with me now if you didn't."_

_And then he pulls away, moves at the other end of the couch and crosses his arms. "Fine then. I'll sit straight like this and watch T.V. like this, far away from you like this."_

_I laugh at him. His childish and cute side showing again. "I doubt you'll last 5 minutes without sticking close to me." _

"_I doubt your idea." _

"_Wanna bet?". He turns his head to look straight at me with interest. "If I win, I get a kiss from you. If you win, I'll be in charge of cleaning the whole week…." I say with overflowing confidence and look at him with challenging eyes and he looks at me just the same with a smirk on his face. "So, what now?"_

"_I'm on. 5 minutes is nothing." _

"_Time starts now then."_

"_Time check, 2:25." He glances at the wall clock above the T.V. and I nod my head. 5 minutes… Now I need to plan on something within minute. A plan on how to get him sticking close to—_

"_Okay I lose!" My thoughts are shattered at the sudden loudness. I turn my head from the clock to look at him and I am surprised by meeting his face only a few inches from mine. I grin._

"_It wasn't even a minute yet."_

"_Can't you just be happy that you won?" He rolls his eyes and I laugh, suddenly pushing him to lie on his back causing him to gasp from surprise. I hug him very close to me. _

"_I won."_

"_Yeah git. You won." _

_I lay my head on his chest and look at the clock."Time check, 2:25 and 20 seconds." He doesn't say anything but I could feel his heavy breathes escape him. "I won." And then I prop myself up with my elbows supporting me. "My prize?"_

_He instantly flushes pink but again he doesn't say anything. He bites his lips and looks at me._

_And slowly he reaches up, his hands pulling me back down with our foreheads touching. I smile at him and he smiles back. "I love you…" I whisper to him._

"_I…"_

_What was that?_

"_I… Alfred…"_

_Arthur? Why can't I hear him clearly?_

"_Alfred…"_

"_I.. Alfred."_

"_Alfred…"_

_Arthur?_

"ALFRED!_"_

Pain suddenly crawls on my both cheeks and I find myself face to face with Arthur though it's not the same smiling and flustered face anymore, rather he's looking a bit concerned and somewhat looking at me like I'm a very weird guy. "Hi Arthur!" I smile brightly.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing." _Except that I just imagined you and I feel embarrassed by myself right now. _I feel like banging my head on the floor, geez brain! What is wrong with you brain?

"Nothing my arse." His fingers pinches my cheeks some more and I gasp. He lets go with an unconvinced face and walks away towards the kitchen. I touch my cheeks. I bet they're really red right now for various reasons. "I was asking you what fruit shake you want. Or would you like coffee again?"

"Oh… You have uuh.." _Think of a fruit, think of a fruit… "_Coconut?"

He turns to face me and crosses his arms. "You clearly weren't listening to me. I told you a while ago I have mangoes, strawberries, a big watermelon here. Which do you want or do you prefer coffee?" I bite my lips with the way he speaks. It is like I'm being scolded by a mother. _Not that I had one. _

"Strawberry please." I say shyly.

"Finally an answer." He turns around with a sigh. I hear the sound of him chopping the fruits so I stand up to help. I feel kind of bad and guilty for having such a cheesy imagination. I mean, seriously? A bet? Missing missy? What is wrong with my brain? Hah.

"Need help?" I pick one strawberry and take a look closely as I play with it with my fingers.

"I can manage." He mutters. "Anyway, what were you thinking about?"

"Eh? Oh, nothing much."

The slicing stops and he looks at me. I really feel like he's my mother now. Well that's a cute thing too and what if—Damn I really need to stop thinking and imagining weird things.

"You really are weird." He chuckles. And here I thought I had him pissed off. "I'm not going to force you to tell me don't worry." He continues cutting the strawberries and place them in a bowl before getting some more to slice. I decide to eat the piece I'm holding, tossing it in the air and catching it with my mouth. As my teeth bites the fruit, the sweet juices fill my whole mouth but it's not enough to let my lips smile. I look at Arthur who is now placing the strawberries on the blender and adding some sugar on it. Then my brain reminds me of that cheesy fantasy again. I still can't believe I happen to form that on my mind. Though I do hope Arthur just pinched my cheeks minutes more. I mean, _we were about to kiss! _It was the godliest part!- I'm thinking about weird kissing Arthur… Damn I'm hopeless.

"You're spacing out again Alfred." I look at Arthur again and let out an awkward laugh. He isn't looking at me though. He just continues on preparing those fruit shakes.

"I wanna ask you something." _What? No you don't Alfred! What are you going to ask anyway? For him to kiss you? It's a freakin' fantasy! Duh duh duh? "_Are you like, dating now? You know…_" Safe. Wait.. What the hell?_

"Huh? What is with that so suddenly?"

"Oh, you know…" _ What? You know what? _"I might uh, be disturbing you and your supposed to be dating hours…" I honestly don't know where these questions are coming from.

The sound of the blender takes over the silence. He doesn't answer right away. Am I right? Am I a bother? Just thinking about it.. Oh gosh just thinking about it…

"No. I'm not seeing anyone." I look up at him and I see him smiling at me. "So you don't need to worry about that silly."

Okay that's a good thing. Now for the next question I will dare ask since I'm on this asking thing already. "Well, do you have someone you like… love?" I gulp. He returns back to the shake again. Now stopping the noisy blender and pulling the plug off.

"Well… That's a pretty normal thing is it not?" He speaks as a matter of factly. I feel like I've been shot by a million small thorns right now. Why do I always ask stupid questions? "Does this person know?" He shakes his head as he wipes two tall glasses. The casual smile still there.

"Yeah… I actually have someone too and he doesn't know..."

"Why don't you tell him? You're good-looking Alfred."

"He said he likes someone else."

"Oh… " Arthur looks at me with understanding eyes. "Then we're pretty much the same then."

I watch him in silence as he pours the cold drink on the first glass careful not to spill anything. I lean on the kitchen counter with my elbows supporting my face.

"Hey Arthur… Why do you like that person?" He pauses and looks at me. Then he smiles again as he places the glass pitcher down and hands me the glass.

"Well… Let's just say he makes me happy an awful lot." He chuckles and serves himself with his own drink as he leans on his back on the sink. "And I feel special when he's around. Actually he's one of the reasons I wanted my sight to return. Seeing him is enough..." He looks and smiles at his drink as if it is that person he likes. I can't help but feel jealous and I can't do anything about it.

"I see…"

"Well how about you?" He takes a sip. "Why do you like him?"

"Ah…" I smile truthfully. _If he only knew… _"He makes me happy… Just his genuine smile makes me smile and it completes my day." _Just like now… _"And this is the first time I ever felt like this you know? After all these… years." _You know? You know that Arthur? _"I'll literally die for him." When I look at Arthur again he is looking at me like he is surprised or shocked to hear what I just said. I chuckle. "It's true. I'll really do you know."

He takes a few gulps of his drink and I think I could hear every swallow he makes. When he places the glass away from his lips, it's already half empty. "Lucky person…" He says in some kind of a whisper. "He doesn't know what he's missing." With that he drinks the rest of his drink all the way down to his throat and I stand there watching him empty the glass up. Is he really that thirsty?

"Bloody hell…" He places the glass down on the sink with a soft clink and rubs his forehead.

"Hey, you alright?" I leave my own shake on the counter and walk towards him.

"Brain freeze." He chuckles but he frowns again. "I shouldn't have drank like that."

"Yeah… Are you really that thirsty?"

"Not really." He lifts his head and our eyes meet. "I just think it's cool?"

"Silly." I mess with his hair and we both laugh.

Happy, happy Sunday…

Yeah… This is a nice day. Nice enough. This will do. I'm enjoying the day, laughing with him and basically enjoying the day…

Maybe it would have been a perfect day if I kept my mouth shut though…

_._

_._

_._

_He doesn't know what he's missing…. Huh?_

_Well he's missing you, you…_

_...you..._

_..._

_..._

_...you damn lovely Brit!_

* * *

**There! Gah I can't believe this is going to reach this far... yes this is really far for me. ****When teachers ask me us to write stories, my best work is half a page... HALF A PAGE! And this! wohoo!**

**I read the last chapter of this fic...aaah noo it's no good! So this is to make up for it wohoo! *The cat is locked in my room so.. yeah!* For the record I did his with a flying cockroach... O.O I hereby congratulate myself. :D  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**(-_-)"**

* * *

"_Please Al! Don't leave me with her!"_

"_But I still have-"_

"_You owe me the shoes! I happily gave you one and now you can't even…"_

"_But-"_

"… _come with me! You call yourself a good…"_

"_Gil!"_

"…_friend! Tell me what made 'leaving a friend in need behind' good!"_

And that conversation was what lead me into this 'picking-flowers-for-Lizzy' thing. Apparently he had managed to piss that woman off once again. _Dang Gil, when will you ever learn? _

Just a few feet beside me is him, murmuring to himself about how things are not awesome, and he's too awesome for this, and the rest I don't really care about. Ugh I feel really heavy now. I don't know why so suddenly though. Maybe it's because I feel bad for not spending this vacant time wisely… Why should I pick flowers with Gil, if I could just fly over Arthur? Oh yeah, I remember it's because I'm such a good friend. I shake my head; I'm such a good friend.

The wind suddenly blows and I close m eyes for a second to avoid unwanted dust getting in my eyes.

"What the hell Ivan! Look at what you did!" Hearing Gilbert exclaim like that, I rub my eyes open and see Ivan not so far away. His wings are just beginning to hide themselves at his broad back again. "Now I'll have to pick up these things all over again!" I turn my head to look at Gilbert and I can see now why he is pissed off. The flowers he had collected are scattered in different places, and some lost their petals already. I chuckle and look at Ivan who is smiling awkwardly as he tries to apologize.

"Let it go dude. Gil's having a bad day. Why don't you just help us finish this stuff to make up for it?" I put a hand on Ivan's shoulder and he smiles at me and nods his head. I hand him my basket and we both set off to work, distancing ourselves a little away from Gilbert who still keeps murmuring to himself.

"what have I gotten myself into?" I pat Ivan's back with a smile.

"I understand you pal." He looks at me and nods his head. Then silence envelopes the place for a while. Only the rustling of leaves and grass, not to mention Gilbert, can be heard throughout the whole field. I'm not sure where Elizabetha went though. I saw her sitting by the pond arranging flowers. Now she's nowhere. That girl, she really is enjoying her free time while here we are doing her supposed hobby.

I straighten myself up and stretch my back. It has been minutes of bending down and crouching. My hands feel numb too for constantly pulling on these poor plants. I sigh and try to dust off my pants and then I stare at the whole field. My lips curve into a smile. The whole place is green and it just reminds me of his eyes. They're as bright as the surroundings, as lively as it too. Damn I miss Arthur. I swear I'll make up for this wasted time. I glance around and see the bushes of roses not very far away. _How many should I bring this time? The last I brought him a dozen… how about 2 dozens? _Fair enough I think.

I crouch towards the ground and I smile at roses. _Hello there. Hope you don't mind me picking you. Don't worry I'll give you to someone who's equally beautiful like you guys. _I chuckle and close my eyes I let their fragrance dance around my nose. Then I hear rustling beside me so I open my eyes and see Ivan crouching near the white flowers. He smiles at me for a while and then proceeds on picking the white roses and putting them in the basket. I glance back at the yellow rose in front of me. It's not fully bloomed yet and it is just perfect. I carefully break the stem and let the rose twirl on my finger. _My gosh I miss Arthur._

"Thinking about him?"

"Yup."

"Watcha planning to do?"

"Oh, the usual… Bringing him roses and stuff. You know the last time-" _Wait… What! _I turn to look at Ivan who is still crouching down the grass, picking flowers carefully and putting them in a basket. I continue to stare at him with my eyes wide. I can feel them boring into Ivan's face with questioning looks and confusion… and fear?

After a while he looks at me with an innocent questioning look. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Don't _what _me!" I manage to choke out, my voice is shaking. "What do you mean _him? _I mean-"

"Shh…" He places a finger on his lips and I shut my mouth instantly. "You lower down your voice, or do you want Gilbert to hear you?" I shake my head and he smiles.

"But.. What-… Do you-"

"Yes I know." My heart beats faster, actually it feels like it's about to burst out my chest anytime and it's not a good feeling. Because my heart bursting out right now would be the death of mine, unlike the happy rebelling of it when around Arthur.

"How? When? Since when?" I whisper to him.

"I saw you walking with.. _him _the last night. You know, down some park. Immediately I realized, you've grown to love that human just by the way you look at him."

Damn I was caught, I was seen. I thought no one would be around at that time! Maybe I should've listened to Arthur that time. I shouldn't have insisted on going out. But it has been a while since we've been out and that was the perfect time since no one was around the same park we went 6? 7 months ago. I thought it was the perfect time really, and surely I enjoyed that night. "Tsk.." I run a hand through my hair, messing it up a little as I stare at the flower. "Did you… tell anyone?"

"No. And I don't plan to." I let out a sigh of relief. At least the pounding of my heart lessens a bit.

"Thanks pal."

"But that doesn't mean I'm encouraging you Alfred." He looks at me again but this time with very serious eyes. The smile is swept out of his face. "You know the rules, you know the possible consequences." He caresses the rose in his own hands.

"I'm not stopping this… secret of mine…"

"I figured that." He lets out some kind of disapproving sound. "I'm warning you Alfred. You may feel very happy now but it won't last."

"I know that, and actually I've prepared myself for the worst and painful things that could happen."

"You do realize you're not the only who's gonna get hurt." I nod my head and he sighs. Damn I feel like a kid being scolded right now. I know I'm selfish alright? I've accepted that fact 6 or 7 months ago okay?

"I am fully aware of that Ivan." Then there is silence again. He continues to pick more flowers as I just stare at my twirling yellow rise between two fingers.

"The white rose…" I raise a brow.

"White rose? What about it?"

"Do you know what it means?" I shake my head and this time I look at him with confusion. Is he trying to change the topic? Well that's good. I don't want to talk about bad things anymore. "White roses are a symbol of purity and peace but at the same time… they mean death."

"Oh…" Why is he telling me this?

"Red roses are about love and passion… But that colour also means war and bloodshed…"

"I see. What about yellow roses then?"

"Obviously they mean happiness and excitement…"

"And the bad side?"

"It means dying love…"

"Oh…" I stare at the rose again. Good thing it isn't melting from my gaze. Dying love doesn't sound so good to hear.

"See? There's always a sad side for everything. Even flowers." He looks at me again. "_Your lives_ aren't any different." By _your lives, _he must mean my life and Arthur's… "I suggest you… end things earlier for the better."

"I told you I'm not planning to-"

"You've witnessed Mitchell die. We were both there Alfred!" He says in a whisper yet I could feel the intensity of his voice. He's mad, I know he's mad. Especially with this topic brought up to him. I know he's just concerned about me, and I know he's just trying to avoid and prevent the same things to happen again but…

"I'm sorry, but I'll let you know I don't really care ending up like her."

"Fool!" I jerk back a little when he suddenly hits the ground with his fist. "You're being stupid just like her!"

"I'm not being foolish… Okay maybe I am but-"

"You don't have any idea much that will hurt both of you Alfred—damn it I'm sorry." He sits on the grass with one arm resting on one knee, the other rubbing his forehead. "I just… don't want to see such things again… I—"

"I completely understand." I sit down beside him and for some reason, the petals of the rose begins to follow from continuous spinning.

I decide not to look at Ivan's sad face. I understand why he seems to take the idea bad.

After all he's Mitchell's secret admirer. We may not be that close but I do know something about that.

We were both there; we both stood there and watch her die… happily.

And Ivan wept silently beside me along with the other angels present that time.

"After her death, I watched over her family." He stares up the sky, eyes daring to look at the bright sun. "I watched them be confused, turn mad, and recover years after." He looks at me with lifeless violet eyes. "Years are what it took them… long painful years Al. And I'm sure your human would-"

"He has no idea I love him. I never told him and besides he loves someone else. So if he gets hurt when I suddenly disappear, or worst, seeing me die before him, the pain is not… very…"

"Pain is pain you stupid winged creature. And not to mention, death is death. It's either his death or yours someday…" I feel my breath hitch at the sharp words and my hand suddenly freezes. I feel cold all over like someone just splashed me a bucket of ice cold water.

He stands up and drops the roses he picked in the basket. "I suggest you be a sunflower… Stare all you want, stare stare stare… No touching." He sighs. "I think, I'll be leaving now."

And before I could even say my goodbyes, his wings unfurl behind him and the wind blows as he starts to flap them. The same strong wind which pissed Gilbert off.

Without a final glance he takes off leaving me _still _surprised by what just happened, by the recent conversation we had. The minutes seemed to fly so fast. From shock, disbelief, to all this drama.

I look at the rose again with only a few petals left. I spin it more until there is none.

* * *

I hug the pillow closely to my chest, half of my face from nose down hiding behind the soft thing as I silently watch Arthur read from across me. The pages turning is the only sound I hear besides the escape of my breath.

The book in his hands suddenly shuts and he looks at me with a sigh. "Okay, what is wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You really think I'll believe that?" I shake my head. "Stop worrying me then…"

"I'm worrying you?"

"Obviously…"

"So.. you care about me?" With that question, he stands up much to my surprise. Oh dear did I anger him? Did I do anything to—

"You're not… hot. I mean feverish…" A warm hand suddenly touches my forehead and it feels so good Arthur touching me. I lean towards his touch and close my eyes. He pulls away though but I manage to catch his hand which makes him flinch from a little surprise.

"Stay…" I whisper to him and he nods his head making me smile. He sits down beside me, still frowning though. He must be really confused right now, seeing a very quiet Alfred and not the usual noisy friend who would always tease him.

But I can't tell him what's bothering me. I can't tell him that suddenly I am afraid. Ivan's words are still ringing in my ears. It may not seem like it but it really pierced my heart ad thoughts…

"_Death is death… _

_It's either his death or yours… Someday…"_

I close my eyes at the thought, but I've got to admit Ivan's right. Someday he'll die, and I'll probably die trying to save him just like that brave woman Mitchell.

"Do you… want to lie down for a bit?" I look at Arthur who's now biting his lips, a hand on my shoulder. I feel so pathetic for worrying him. Arthur's a really nice person, nicer than one could imagine actually. I shouldn't feel very special with him showing concern to me but I just can't help it. He makes me feel… really loved and cared and… at ease. "Al?"

"If you don't mind…" When he shakes his head, I immediately let my head fall on his lap. I think he just blushed? Well it's my fault for him being embarrassed though. He offered me to lie down but not on his lap, and here I am taking advantage of his kindness. I'm just glad to feel him relax again, and he doesn't push me away. I actually feel a hand playing with my hair instead. Feels really comfortable right now. Moments and times like this is one of my favourites. Just simply lying here, relaxing in silence with Arthur. It's just like the usual times…

"I'm not going to force you to tell me but… If ever you need anything…" He trails off not finishing the sentence, but still I know what he's trying to say. I smile and hug the pillow tighter.

"You're very nice Arthur."

"Of course I am…" He chuckles. "I'm your… _friend… _after all…" His voice tones down as the word 'friend' crawls out his mouth. That word has been used again and clearly it's not helping me to ease up more.

"Hey Artie?"

"Hm?"

"May I ask you a question?"

"You're already asking." He grins when he sees me pout. "What is it?"

"This is a serious one okay, and it's not like I'm gonna ask this because of personal reasons or anything… I just wanna know what you think." Arthur at first looks at me, analyzing and trying to see if I'm lying or not. I guess I'm not convincing him though, but still he nods his head. A signal that I can go on. "Okay so… Let's say you have this person you really, really like—no that's wrong… You really, really love. But then you know there's no way you two could be together. As in no chance in hell, even if you turn the world upside down you can really never be, but because you're so stupid and you really like this person, you still go ahead and approach him and then befriend him without telling him anything about how you feel, and then you develop a very close relationship like best friends, still knowing one day you will need to stay away from this person permanently… If the time comes… what will you do?"

"I'll cry."

"Why?" I look up at Arthur whose eyes are gazing out the window.

"Are you stupid? Naturally when the time comes, it will hurt so much."

Right, of course. Stupid question again huh. Right now I could feel the hurt, what more when that unfortunate time arrives right?

"What if… What if you're the other person, what will you do?"

"Still cry."

"Why? I mean, you don't know that person loves you and you don't love the person."

"Alfred, that person is my friend. Of course I love that person so I'll cry no matter how… weak it sounds."

I sit up and look at Arthur which seems to be bothered by the way I look at him. "Then what will you do with the present time as you wait for that unfortunate thing?"

"Make sure I regret nothing." He says with a smile.

I smile at him back at him.

* * *

**Short chapter is short... So there's only drama for this chap~**

**It took me a week to update on this, and well this is another rushed chapter. I'm sooo busy, I have classes starting monday and...yeah. SORRY! After all those lovely reviews and alerts, I dare give you a lame chap. nooooooooooo~ \(;_;)/ Lol sorry about that too.**

**And with all this witch hunt thing, whatever it is just to be safe I have this fic posted on my tumblr. nalalalah-dot-tumblr-dot-com \(-_-)/**

**I'll just make it up to you guys on the next chapter where Arthur-... asdfghjkl DX**


	13. Chapter 13

**It has been a long while... LOOOOOONG while. lol.**

* * *

Kids, little children are so cute aren't they? With those wide puppy-like eyes and adorable puffed cheeks. When they giggle and their cute laughter which you will hear every time you make funny faces or weird sounds. The small little efforts they do to impress you, and when they act all cute just to get your attention. But they're specially cute when they just sit still on one corner, watching your every move, and laughing at you as you entertain them.

Not crying because of your face.

I don't like children crying. I hate children crying. They're not cute when they're crying. They're… frightening? It's like they're gonna eat you or something. I had just finished my own business when I heard Lovi shouting and a kid crying. Since I like kids I immediately drifted down and found out he's having a hard time calming the kid down, and every time he would pick her up, she would start wailing and throwing her arms to grab his hair and pull it. Thus making her untouchable.

"Oh come on please stop!" Lovi shouts at the kid which causes for the little girl to cry some more. "Damn it! Alfred I thought you're gonna help me with this!"

"I've tried to make the kid, she just won't!—ah stop scaring her!"

"I'm not scaring her!"

"You're making weird faces!"

"I'm trying to be funny!" Lovi clenched his fists, his teeth grinding against each other. I sigh for like, the hundredth time, when the crying gets louder. I hear Lovi curse under his breath as sat on the ground with defeat. "Damn, this kid is holding me back. I have another soul to fetch within a few minutes!" I scratch the back of my neck and sit down on the other side of the crying child. She looked at me still with tears rolling down her cheeks, small hiccups escaping her tiny mouth. When I thought she had stopped, I smile at her, but then she begins crying once more. _What to do?_

"Hey Lovi, how old is she by the way?" He brings his palms together and lazily moves them apart again revealing a white scroll which contains the list of people assigned to him. His eyes move further down and he scowls.

"Maria Alexandra Guevara, Spanish tourist, 2 and a half years old, died from-"

"Okay that's enough thanks." He shrugs his shoulders, clasps his hands together, hiding the scroll again. I glance at her again and it doesn't seem like she's ever gonna run out of fluids for her tears.

"2 and a half years old, girl, what do they usually like?"

"Dunno. Toys perhaps?"

"And where are we gonna get some toys?" I look around the area and when I see a small plastic bottle, I crawl to it and wave it in front of the crying kid. "What are you doing idiot? That's not a toy! Do you really think-"

"Ssh! I'm trying to convince her this is a toy!"

"It's a freakin' bottle for goodness sake Al-"

"Then why don't you go and look for a _real _toy then!" When he sighs, I know that he's not gonna speak back, at least for a few minutes. I look at the kid and sit across her with the bottle on one hand. Her hands are fast though, but luckily I am able to dodge her hands or else she would be pulling my hair to death. I sigh and try to bring back my smile, and then I begin to tap the bottle on the ground forming a simple beat.

She immediately stops, her eyes now on the empty plastic bottle, the hiccups are still there though. But at least she stopped throwing tantrums. I smile wider, and this time I accompany the tapping with my own voice, singing with the very simple lyrics of '_lalalala'… _After a few more minutes she begins to smile, her own hands clapping. When I glance at Lovi again, his frown had disappeared, and he looks relieved right now.

I feel a tug on my hand, and when I turn I see her trying to pull the bottle away from my hands, so I happily give it to her. She giggles and begins to hit the ground with the bottle, her own mouth trying to produce words which I find cute. Then I stand up and Lovi carries the child in his arms with ease.

"Never underestimate plastic bottles." He laughs and I nod my head. "Well, better get going now. See yah." With that he takes off, and without waiting for his image to disappear I unfurl my own wings and fly off towards the other direction towards Arthur's home, as usual…

* * *

I skip down the hallway happily, and then stopping on that one special door. Why am I happy? Well I'm always happy, but today I'm going to invite Arthur out for a walk. It's nearly sunset, and it would be fun watching it with him! I've never watched the sunset with Arthur, because it's always raining.

The moment I land on this special door, I check my white shirt for any stains or dirt; I also straighten some of the wrinkled parts. My shoes, white also in colour are clean as well leaving me satisfied.

The door suddenly opens though at the same time I raise my hand to press the doorbell.

"Alfred!"

"Hey Arthur!"

"You're here!" I flash him a wide smile as he quickly recovers from surprise. Why is he even surprised? Oh yeah, I guess I'm a little late? Usually I drop by around the morning or noon where the sun is striking everyone on rare days.

"Yep I'm here! Anyway, do you have anything to-" I stop in midsentence when a small head suddenly pops out from behind Arthur's thin legs. _Oh great, another kid._ Wide dark brown eyes look up at me innocently as if curious to who I am. As she pokes her head forward more, her long equally brown hair fall to the side of her shoulders, her bangs not blocking her eyes because of the cute rabbit shaped clip. I guess Arthur notices me staring at the small child behind him and he chuckles. "Oh, this little girl here is Aiah. She's 4." He pulls her arm gently forward making her walk right in between us. She looks at Arthur and then she looks at me with so much innocence and stays silent. _Now that's a cute kid. _"She's my neighbour's daughter."

"Ah… Why is she with you?"

"Her mom is in the hospital and her dad didn't want to bring her with them, afraid she might catch some sickness in there or something."

"I see." I crouch down face to face with her; she steps back and clings to Arthur as I did though. But her head is still turned and she's looking at me. I smile and wave my hand a little. "Hi there! I'm Alfred!" She looks up at Arthur and blinks. How cute is that?

"It's okay dear." He pats her head gently, careful not to mess her hair. "Alfred is a good guy." I smile wider if that's still possible for my already stretched lips. But my happy face doesn't seem to convince her though, because of she didn't smile at me and her arms try their best to wrap around Arthur's waist. _Which I wish I could also do. _I sigh and stand straight up again.

"So, are you heading out today?"

"Ah, yes. I was about to take her for a walk…and… since you're here maybe you would want to come?"

"Of course!" I notice Aiah cling to Arthur tighter as he took a step back. Maybe I said that with too much excitement? I swear I heard my voice echo along the hallway, so I glance at both sides to see- oh is that a man peeking? Naturally I smile at him, but just like the kid my smile doesn't have any effect on him and instead clicks his tongue before slamming his door shut. Was I that _loud?_

"You were that loud…" I glance at him and see him looking at the same direction with a slightly amused face. _Wow can he read minds? _"No I can't read minds Alfred." _But he just did! _I blink at him and he chuckles. "It's easy to read your face lad."

"It is?" Arthur nods. Is my face really that readable, or maybe he is just as amazing as ever?

* * *

We end up on a children's park, not the usual one where Arthur and I often go, with the romantic atmosphere and all. This one is bigger and there are fewer trees to keep you from the sun's rays during the noon. Good thing it's just an hour I think, before sunset. There are no harsh rays to think about or mind.

As Arthur and I sit on one of the nearby benches from the playground, Aiah would occasionally wave back at us, or maybe wave back at Arthur only since I don't think she likes me yet. Of course, he would wave back; I'll do the same just to make myself appear a lot more likeable. I hope she does notice me though.

I would glance at Arthur often too as we speak about different things. Though I would always be the one to start the conversation and most of the stories would come from me, and he would listen. He's such a good listener. The kind of person who is willing to listen until the end of your story without ever interrupting it.

"Look at me!" Aiah waves at us again and of course we wave back, and she runs along with the other kids she just made friends with. She rolls over the sand box and Arthur would click his tongue, muttering about giving her a thorough bath. When she climbs up the monkey bars, Arthur would gasp and sometimes he will bite his lips and never let his eyes dart away until she lands safely back at the ground.

"You are so much suited to be a father you know?" He turns his head to look at me. "I mean, it's not that you look old, you _don't _look old!" I add quickly. I don't want him to get the wrong idea now do I! "Your specs doesn't make you look old I swear and in fact you look…" What is the word? What _are _the words?

"Are you going to describe me like some pretty woman again?" Arthur raises a brow, hopefully he doesn't look offended or anything like that. He actually is smiling at me.

"Woman?"

"Yes. With the words beautiful, elegant, sublime, and more. It's like you're describing the queen you know?"

"So, you actually remember the things I say to you?"

"Of course I do. I'm not old enough to forget yet." He chuckles.

So he remembers, every word. That is nice! If he doesn't forget the things I say, what more myself? He'll never forget me at least. "Trust me on this though, everything I say is true, and I mean it from the bottom of my heart!" I poke a thumb on my chest with a proud face on because I really do mean everything. "When I tell you you're beautiful, you really are beautiful, when I tell you're nice, you really are nice, when I tell you you're—." His hand pushes my face to the other side, breaking my gaze towards him. I'm making him all red again from embarrassment hah! Such a cute sight!

"Okay fine I get it!"

"Your face is red."

"Shut it! It's not!" He's denying again. "Damn Al, just save those words for your lover!" He removes his glasses and begins to wipe them clean again. I just sigh and stare up the sky.

"You know I don't have any Arthur."

"Still haven't confessed huh?" I nod my head. "I see."

I close my eyes for a while and let the wind mess with my hair. Arthur becomes quiet again. As usual he will not tell much since he's the quiet type.

"Look what I got!" I hear Aiah exclaim and when I open my eyes, she's already sitting between me and him, a small stone in her hands. Well I think it's a stone. She raises her hand more towards Arthur's face and he laughs.

"Yes, yes. What is that?"

"It comes out then it won't when it sees people!" She stands up and puts the _stone_ down and crouches behind it. "Watch!" Arthur and I look at each other with questioning looks before lowering our backs down to observe the unknown creature. For a few moments it is still, but then slowly, arms begin showing on both sides and a head pokes out the front. Both of us laugh then. "See! What is it!"

"It's a turtle!" I exclaim happily, Aiah looks at me with a blank face though and looks at Arthur. So, I've been ignored again huh? Kids…

"It is a turtle dear, just like what he said." She looks at me again and I try my best to smile my friendliest smile. She pouts at me. Will Aiah ever like me? _Will Arthur ever like-…. Nevermind that. _Arthur laughs and pats my shoulder as he mouthed the words _it's okay. _

"Tutu?" She tries to mimic.

"Turtle."

"Tutu?" Arthur sighs and nods his head in defeat.

"It's okay Artie! She'll get it someday!" I give him a thumbs-up and he smiles.

"Of course." He straightens up again and relaxes his back against the back-rest.

There's silence once again between the two of us, but it doesn't feel uncomfortable at all. Quite the opposite actually. The atmosphere is peaceful, very peaceful. With the dry and fallen leaves rustling under the children's feet. Come to think of it, lately I've been allowing myself to be seen by others. Before I always was careful around people, and never did I let myself be visible to the eyes of others, only Arthur. But right now I could only care less about that. Besides, being seen by humans isn't a really bad thing. It feels good, quite fine really and I never thought that I would think this way about the matter.

"You look like an idiot." A finger pokes me on the cheek as I turn my head towards Arthur. I blink my eyes in question. What does he mean by that anyway? _I look normal as far as I know_. He sighs, and smiles. His eyes return back to the kids playing across. "You were smiling…"

"But I always do smile."

"You look weird"

"But I always do look-" _Wait… _Arthur starts to laugh. _Oh… _Then I smile once again, and it doesn't take any more seconds before I join in the laughter. _Well, I am weird after all._

* * *

The sun is beginning to set now, casting a mixture of yellowish gold and orange all over the place. It's during times like this that I soar the sky and feel the wind kiss me coldly just below the clouds. And each time also I will attempt to reach the sun and see how far my wings will take me. But for this afternoon, this sunset, my wings remain behind my back, folded and hidden. I don't intend on using them today because right now I'm completely contented with just walking side by side with Arthur, and of course the little girl Aiah who's now busy finishing up her ice cream cone- oh, she's finished. Haha.

In the middle of me and Arthur chatting, she pulls his sleeve catching his attention to her. Her eyes looking up at Arthur's as she rubs them lazily with one hand. "Are we there yet?"

"Just a few more blocks sweetheart." He smiles and holds her hand. Seeing both of them like that, ignoring their physical appearance of course, you would think their father and daughter. Then you will think maybe she looks like her mother more that's why he doesn't look like her, or resemble her or, yeah, those thoughts.

"You look weird again." My eyes blink back away from my own thoughts. I chuckle and give him a smile.

"I know and always will be." He joins me laughing as well. "You know what, I've heard people tell me that countless of times already. Over the years, as in, years, I've heard that so many times that I lost count. I never bothered counting actually."

"Counting would only make you weirder Alfred."

"Really? Then at least I'm still a percent normal then!" For some strange reason, my heart jumps. I suddenly feel my happiness meter punch up. Is it because I know I am still normal after all? Even being entirely different, I _am _normal. Like, humanish normal. Is there such a word? "Hey Artie, is humanish a word? I mean it sounds like a real word to me like, real! Like it's a word used daily, everyday and everytime. Humanish is a word right? Artie? Hey- " When I glance back to look at him again, Arthur's attention isn't on our conversation anymore. His head is turned and seems to be looking at something behind us making me turn my head back too. My eyes search for anything weird but it fails though. So I nudge Arthur's shoulder just to get his attention back. "Hey! What got your attention?"

He looks back at me with questioning eyes, take a quick glance back again before returning his sight on me and shakes his head with a smile. "It's nothing… I thought I just saw…"

"Saw what?"

"I don't know what it's called."

"If you say so…" A part of me is telling me it's a lie. But I decide to just let it go. Arthur has poor eyesight and is wearing glasses. Whatever he could have seen might just be some tricky image caused by the sun's rays reflecting on his glasses. "Anyway, as I was saying, is _humanish _a word?"

"Weird question asked by a weirdo. Of course."

"Weirdo? Isn't _asking questions_ normal?"

"It is normal." I smile again. I'm enjoying the word too much. "But then, the question asked, and the questioner itself is not."

"But I AM normal!"

"Of course you are… Just not completely though. And to answer your question, it's a no. Humanish is not a word. It doesn't even exist."

I shrug my shoulders. "Fair enough."

And then I begin babbling again. Talking and talking, and him, laughing and calling me weird, then calling me normal, then git, then whatever he could think of to make fun of me.

But in the middle of each conversation I would always stop only to notice him looking back with the same confused and questioning look. Every time I would what's wrong he would shrug his shoulders and just smile. That convincing smile he keeps flashing me stops me from asking further questions. I'm so weak.

The sun is already half covered by the hills, the seas; the buildings when we arrive back safely at Arthur's home.

Aiah fell asleep right after she jumps on her bed which if I remember correctly, was Peter's. Yeah right. It's Peter's room she's using. Her hair is scattered all over her face as she lies on her stomach, a pillow under one arm. When Arthur sees her like this, he shakes his head but still he keeps his smile on. Slowly, he removes her shoes and covers her with a blanket. What a caring person he is. Not that I never knew it, it's just really a sweet thing.

"Would you like some coffee?"

"Sure!" Why not? It's gonna make my stay here longer!

We walk out of the room with me following behind me. I shut the door gently as to not make any noise that might wake the little darling inside the room. Come to think of it, she ignored me the whole day. Tsk, kids. Am I not likeable like Artie here?

I walk beside Arthur. Gosh we are at the kitchen again. For the past experiences I have, all I could do is hope nothing awkward or unlikely happens here. Embarrassing things always happen everytime both of us are here at his kitchen. But it's not stopping me from standing beside him though.

He opens the cabinet's glass door just to get a cup; he shuts it carefully back and begins to prepare my drink. And as much as I don't want to bother him, I do not ask him to stop since I'm enjoying myself just by simply watching him. He may be bad at cooking, but he's a nice drink maker even if it's just a simple coffee. "You know, I always do wonder how you can be so good at making my coffee." He chuckles.

"You mean to tell me, I'm a talented coffee maker?"

"Yep. And I'm not lying okay?"

"I never said you were." He rolls his green eyes. "Thank you though… for appreciating."

"You don't need to thank me Artie! It's just that what I'm saying is really true. You make coffee brilliantly! I've tasted coffee from other shops and well, gotta admit they're not as tasty and homey as yours."

"Right."

"I'm not kidding!"

"I never said you were!" Arthur laughs as he hands me the coffee. "Here."

"Thanks."

* * *

"I'm hungry." I open the fridge and my eyes immediately are fixed on the bunch of eggs and some white cheese on the side.

"You can't trust me to cook."

"I can manage Artie! No worries!" Cooking is the simplest things in life you know?

* * *

Boom.

"ALFRED! WHAT-"

Boom.

"Are you okay!"

Boom.

"Yeah I'm okay!"

He kneels beside me with so much concern and… is that irritation on his face?

So, apparently I screwed up. I didn't really mean to! I just wanted to save some time! Boiling eggs in water would be a waste of water and gas… and time. Surely the microwave would make things easier and—

"You're bleeding." I turn my head to look at my hand which is supporting all of my weight. I never will realize that it has been resting on top of crushed glass if Arthur didn't point it out—

Wait… I'm bleeding. There's blood… This is bad.

I quickly bury my hand and hide it inside my white shirt, staining it with red. "I'm okay!"

"No it's not! Show me!"

"I told you it's fine! I'll just wash it away!"

"It's not fine you git!" He pulls my hand with force, but still I try my best to clench my fists hard. "Open your hands."

"It's not bleeding Arthur!"

"I saw it. Now open." And to my surprise he had my fist open. Arthur can be strong- Damn. Now's not the time for admiration! Ah what to do? There's red all over my hand. It has been a while since I cut myself. And you know what happens after? "See I told you it's….it's…" Arthur trails off.

Now what?

"It's… not bleeding…" Green eyes went wide at the sight he's seeing. My wounds, the cut from the glass shards are slowly, slowly and weirdly are closing. Mu cuts are healing, the skin, my flesh is returning back to its own healthy state.

And it's not normal.

He looks at me. I know now's not the best time to smile but…

"I… I told you Artie…"

.

.

.

* * *

"_Alfred… What are you?"_

* * *

**OKAY! WOAH IT HAS BEEN WHAT? WEEKS? O.O**_  
_

**I'm sorry for the laaaaaaate update. College is eating me, my history professor is eating me.. ALIVE. I have a report due this week which was given on the 1ST DAY AND MEETING so of course... hah expectations.**

**And well... That's college for you. -_- But hey I tried my best in writing this chapter so please no violence! woo! And thank you for all those alerts/faves/reviews/support! I love you all! :D**

**dun dun dun~ University party on Friday!**

**It's going to take another long while before I could update again... Pray for me! **


	14. Chapter 14

**ardgkbhj/;kkljvfcsxdxcjhjm. O.O**

* * *

"It's… not bleeding."

"I told you."

I try to pull my hand away and hide it behind me but his hands are firmly holding it. His stare as the cuts are closing and healing is making me uncomfortable. "But… it _was_ bleeding." I didn't answer.

His warm hands turn cold. I could feel it as his fingers run on my palms, swiping the blood away just for him to see clearly that indeed, the cuts healed.

"I-"

"I wasn't seeing things… was I?"

"If I tell you, you _are_ seeing things, would you agree?" This time it's him who doesn't answer.

Anyone, I bet, would actually grab the chance to deny these things. They would use the opportunity, the question, to dodge the truth. But for some reason, I feel like everything must be told right now.

"There were wings behind you…" Automatically my head swings back, I know they're there, but I don't see anything. It is me this time that shoots him a puzzled look. An angel's wings are supposed to stay hidden from sight when not needed, even the owners couldn't see them, but they can feel the presence of their wings. How would Arthur see them? "It was… fading, it's just like an outline..very faint but—"

"They're real." He looks at me straight at my eyes for a few seconds before he stands up.

"I'll go get this cleaned up…"

My eyes follow him until his figure disappears behind the counter. I sigh, taking a glance at my now, completely healed palm as I get on my feet. It's not long before I hear very light footsteps heading my direction and when I lift my head I see Arthur walking with a small broom and dustpan in his hands. The moment he is beside me, he crouches down. Automatically I reach out to help him.

"Let me-"

"Just _stay._"

I slowly withdraw my hand, feeling kind of down at his sudden change of tone. _Stay _he said. It isn't the kind of _stay _that I love to hear from him. He isn't telling me to stay with him and spend more time with him. What he's telling me is to stay _away_ and not to touch him, not to get involved at the slightest. That's what the word is telling me. I have no choice but to watch him clean up the shattered glass with shaking hands. I don't fail to notice he stands up and walks away without even looking at me. Another thing that hurts. Well there's nothing really to be concerned about me, especially since he saw the cuts heal magically, like a miracle with his very own green eyes. What do I expect from him? A concerned and caring gaze?

"Why don't you.. sit there for a while. I'll finish your drink for you." He says afterwards quickly as he puts off to work. Is he trying to forget everything he just witnessed? Forget it didn't happen? "Didn't you hear me? I said—"

"You want to pretend you didn't see anything?" He tenses up, but immediately goes back to what he is doing without turning his back to face me, again, to not see me.

"Just… sit down Alfred."

"I'm willing to tell you the truth, answer your questions without any hesitation or-"

"Alfred!"

"I want to stop lying about myself." He turns around swiftly to my surprise. His eyes, they demand answers from him. Arthur is being eaten by question, confusion, and I could tell how much puzzled hie is that he chose to just forget what he saw but, I couldn't allow that anymore.

"What kind of explanation are you going to give me? That you practice some kind of, dark magic or something? I don't want to be insane Alfred."

"You are not."

"Then you better keep your explanation to yourself." He's about to turn back again, only I am able to stop him. My hands on both his sides, touching the marble counter to prevent him from walking away or turning around.

"I told you I don't want to lie about myself any longer. I want you to know who I really am."

"Or more importantly, _what _are you?" His voice is soft, shaking slightly with his eyes not meeting mine. At the question, I take a deep breath, my hands loosens their grip on the counter. I've brought the situation to this, and yet I don't have an idea how to start. Do I tell him directly? _Arthur I'm an angel._ Short and easy, but will he believe? It's not every day you hear someone tell you, _hey I'm an angel. You know? With the wings and stuff?_

"Promise me you'll believe me." I sound desperate, I know. "Whatever you're going to hear is the truth." He nods his head and looks expectantly, directly at my eyes. I swallow hard.

"I… I'm like the beings your… mother told you before… Yes, we exist, _angels _do exist and I'm one of them…" He continues to stare at me without saying anything. He stays silent as well, with his eyes not blinking. Slowly his lips would part, but then they close again and purse them. "Look, I know this is really hard to believe. Insane, I know. But I need you to believe because it's the truth Arthur…"

"Show me…"

"Show you?"

"Show me your wings… They're real, you said…"

I close my eyes for a moment as I breath out, easing myself. Then I nod my head. I notice him bite his lips as I take a few steps back away from him. And then I slowly I let my wings reveal themselves; slowly they begin to unfurl behind me. I stretch them, flap them a few times gently and a few feathers drop on the floor.

I look back at Arthur and smiled unsurely. He's surprised, it's obvious. Now I'm beginning to get nervous. What could he be thinking? Did I scare him? Or maybe he thinks I'm some kind of a winged-freak being? "Well… " He begins to walk towards me, I swallowed hard. "Arthur?" I notice my voice shaking. As he approaches, I don't dare step away from him and instead I decide to wait and know what's on his mind.

He stops right in front of me, looks at me, at my wings, and right up back at my eyes. I brace myself for a slap in the face as he raises his hand but to my surprise, instead on landing harshly at my cheeks, he slaps his own face. "Hey why did you-"

"Bloody hell honestly!" He turns away and grasps a handful of his own hair. I think he's mad right now!

"Arthur I-"

"I can't believe what's happening right now… I… I… " He sighs and his hand lets go of his hair as it drops back to his side. Then he faces me. "I don't know how to react, honestly…"

"Are you scared?"

"No, why would I be?"

"Are you angry then, at me for not telling you?"

"I know you have a reason for not telling me..."

"Do you want me to tell you?" I hold Arthur's hands, they are cold and still they're shaking. But I didn't fail to notice how they slowly calm down in my hands. "I'll tell you everything… "

* * *

There's silence. Twice for today, or maybe this is the third time, that I've surprised him. Have him shocked about the things I'm telling him. His lips open as if to say something but shut again.

"Arthur-"

"Are you serious?" I nod my head. He bites his lips and buries his face in the pillow he's embracing. "Since… since when?"

"Since they first time I saw you… You may have forgotten about but I-"

"I am not that old to forget idiot." I almost didn't understand what he had said. I'm happy he didn't forget though, at least I hold meaning to him as a dear friend.

He doesn't speak again and I really think he's mad even though he denies it, and will deny it again if I ask.

"You know…" I start of just to break the pregnant silence. "I never really thought that it will come to this point. Well it's not your fault you _caught_ me the first time I saw you. It's not your fault, I'm just weak, and that's all. So, yeah, I'm the same guy who took the kid, remember the little boy who was looking for angels? The kid who mistook you for one? I can't blame him because you really do look angelic and hey I'm not lying! You really do…"

I glance at him but he still keeps his face hidden, buried at softness in his arms. SO I decide to do all the talking, I know he's listening. He's not the kind to sleep in conversations. He's a good listener.

"At first I thought a simple visit won't hurt so every day, without fail I would pass by your hospital room. Sometimes I go in through your window when it was open and then I would sit there, quietly watching you. I'm such a creep don't you think? Sometimes I get scared at myself for what I'm doing but I can't help it. My everyday visits made me fall for you deeper… Oh my gosh I can't believe I'm saying these things."

I chuckle.

"Anyway since I've started this… 'stalker story' of mine, might as well hear me out till the end, yes?" He didn't respond. "Well… The first time I talked to you, I was very scared, and I was happy, but I was scared because I know that I've already let myself '_fall'_ with the impossibility to withdraw back again. I can't pull myself back away from you anymore, there's no turning back. I know, I am completely aware how wrong everything I'm doing is… You must be wondering why it's wrong… Let's just say the heavens have its own rules just like down here, and I… by simply visiting you secretly, I just broke the rules."

"You really are an idiot…" He finally speaks, thought what he said is different from what I am expecting him to say. I simply smile as I nod my head, agreeing at him.

"I know… I always tell myself that."

I notice the small clock resting on top of corner table beside the television. It's already 7:45 in the evening, I didn't even notice time pass by so quickly. I frown, Gilbert and the others are waiting for me and if I don't meet up with them soon they'll probably hunt me down. But I don't want to go yet, for some reason I still want to stay here and talk even if Arthur doesn't want to. At least I think he doesn't want me here.

"You talk too much as usual… "

"I'm sorry. I know I surprised you much for today… I'm sorry to have to make you listen to my… well you know." I stand up with a heavy breath escaping my mouth. This is it; I'm finally leaving, as in leaving with no intention of going back.

"Where are you going?"

"I've bothered you way too much… "

"You're leaving?" It isn't a question. He abruptly stands up letting the pillow fall on the floor.

"Alfred wait-" I feel his cold hand hold my wrist.

"It's okay Arthur, I understand." I smile at him and gently touch his cheeks. It hurts to think that it may be the last time I'll be able to touch him because probably after this I don't plan on showing myself to him anymore.

"You're leaving? For good?"

"Yes, so you don't have to worry"

"But-" I hold his hand to remove his grip from mine, I gently squeezed it before letting go and hopping on the window. The sky is full of stars, maybe it would've been better if it would rain tonight. That way I'd be able to feel the moment more. Talk about dramas… Everything right now is a first time for me. First time to love, break the rules, and well, be very very, very happy. And I will also be my first time to get broken hearted.

I take another longing glance at him as he stands there biting his lips. He must feel guilty right now. He's too kind, really. "Well, it's goodbye then. " At least I am able to tell him what I really feel.

"Alfred-" His words are cut as my wings open, he steps aside and looks at me with wide eyes. I know he considers me a dear friend, but if I stay more, the more painful everyday would be so I guess this is a better choice.

Without another word I fly off with the weight of Arthur's stare at my back. I really hope it would rain right now, at least - Oh, I'm crying…

* * *

"Alfred! The hell did too you so long!" Gilbert eventually jumps on me the moment my feet touch the ground. Everyone looks at us, there's Liz, Lovi, and Ivan watching Gilbert jokingly choke me with his arms aroung my neck."Dude we were like, about to hunt you all over the city!"

"Come on Gil, I know how lazy you are."

"Pfft. I'm not!" He lets go of me and runs to Elizabetha. The moment he turns his back my smile vanishes and quietly I walk behind them, of course I would join the laughter occasionally and tell some inside jokes only Gilbert and I would understand. If I act remorseful right now, I don't even have the guts to tell them the real reason. And how would they react if they knew?

"You've been at _his _home again." Ivan suddenly pops up beside me; his hand rests on my shoulder. I almost forgot, he knows about my secret. I didn't answer though, because obviously it's a yes."Well, did something happen? You're not as annoying as before." _How mean is this guy?_

"I'm fine as always dude. Whatever could have happened?"

"I don't know. That's why I'm asking you… _dude._" We continue walking in silence as the others continue bashing each other. How funny it is to watch them, if only I'm in the mood for fun right now. I glance at Ivan who seems very carefree, always smiling.

"I'll never see him again…" A brow raises curiously and before he asks anything I start speaking again. "I already told him everything… and then I bid goodbye."

"For good?"

"For good." My voice shakes and before I even cry again I start laughing to cover everything up. "I'm such an idiot dude!" I laugh harder as tiny droplets of tears begin crawling down. The other's attentions drift towards me.

"There goes his laughing sickness." I manage to hear Lovi's mumbling as he rolls his eyes.

"Ivan, what the hell happened to Alfred?" Gilbert asks innocently still trying to break free from Liz's grip.

I feel a comforting hand behind my back as Ivan shrugs his shoulders. "Being an idiot as usual…" He says softly as he looks at me with pity.

* * *

**Crappy chapter... I'm sooo sorrrry! T_T We have our prelims next week so... tada XD **

**Thank you for the reviews and alerts, and faves, follows... daadaadaa! woo!**

**R&R I'll try my best to update this before the month ends :P**


	15. Chapter 15

**...woo I'm alive!**

* * *

The streets are crowded as usual; after all it's in the middle of the day. From the top you would see a beautiful view of the umbrellas that the people are using to protect themselves from the rain. Everything's quite colourful from above despite the dull, gray atmosphere caused by the thick layer of clouds. The wind would blow occasionally which causes the people to have a firm grip of their umbrellas and to be honest they're quite funny to watch them fight the wind. I have been sitting here at some random rooftop. I've been here since late in the morning, alone. The others are busy with their own businesses and I have nowhere else to hangout, or rather, I don't want to move or go anywhere away from this side of the city unless I really need to. Because on the eastern side is where _he _is. I don't want to mention his name anymore, I'm trying to get used to forgetting the name.

I'm not really waiting for someone or something to happen. Or maybe I am? But what do I expect to happen or to see?

I still feel very low and lonely and… I kind of regret what I just did. It has been 2 weeks already and yet I still am like this, isolating myself from the others during the supposed times we have our bonding time. Later evening actually, someone invited me for a small gathering at the _garden_. But I refused because the roses would just remind me of him, of his scent, his smile. His face matches the flower's beauty… As cheesy as this sounds but I consider him as … As cheesy as this sounds but I consider him as _my _rose. Though it's wrong to assume he's mine since he's never been and will never be mine. I chose to end everything and here I am musing, being overly dramatic. I've stopped crying since yesterday, and right now I'm trying to prevent that from happening. It's not gonna do me good.

I sigh as I take a glance at the giant clock of London. Time for work…

* * *

"Do I really have to go now?" I nod my head at him.

"Your time is up dude, sorry."

"Nah, it's alright. It's not like I regret anything." _Matthias _quickly says when he sees my sorry expression.

We quietly watch as the doctors panic inside the room, requesting for more equipment as they try to revive him. His pale body already gave up. The doctors keep on shouting orders; some nurses are muttering prayers as they do their jobs. The machine that shows his heart rate shows a thin flat line along with a deafening screech with no hopes of showing any spikes again. I notice Matthias bite his lips, knowing that deep inside him, he still is hoping for a miracle. Maybe it's not his time yet, but sad to say there's no hope for his life anymore.

After a minute of trying to bring him back, the doctor finally shakes his head.

_Matthias Timothy Kohler  
Age:33  
Time of Death: 11:09  
Date of Death: June 14, 2001_

Even from behind the masks, I could sense all of the people inside are wearing a frown. Of course, there's no reason to smile. Though Matthias, to my surprise, his lips are curved up.

"Well, to be honest I hoped but well, it really is my time now."

"You seem happy though."

"It's just because I really have nothing to regret, I mean, of course I'd miss my kids, my wife, family. I was able to fulfil my role as a husband, a father, and a son, a friend even. I'm confident about that. Though of course that would mean it's really going to hurt for them to accept I'm gone. It hurts even for me. It's hard to part ways with someone you're superbly attached."

"_I know…" _I mumble to myself, it's good he doesn't hear it.

The doctor makes his way out the room where the soul's wife is waiting, hoping for good news. I turn my head a little as I wait for the expected cry to reach inside this room and to shatter its silence. Matthias grips his fists as he waits as well to hear her. I think it's a relief that his kids aren't brought here or else he would've lost it. In these situations which I've already encountered more than many times, people would rather not see dear one for the last time than see them grieve right in front of them, and yet they can't do anything.

"_What do you mean he's gone!? He can't be gone! He can't be!_" There goes her voice, shaking and hoarse. "_I want to see him, let me go inside!_"

"_I'm sorry Mrs Kohler but-_"

"_Let me see him!_"And the doors swing open as a lady with long blonde hair walks past us, her knees shaking and finally gives in the moment she reaches his body. She holds his hand, caresses it before bringing on to her lips as she mumble words we can't quite understand. The doctors and nurses distance themselves from her to give her space, other's decide to leave the room for the sorrow is too much to stand.

"…I hate seeing her cry… " His bows his head and looks down at his feet to avoid watching her. "I've made her cry so many times before we got married. We have quite a love story you know?" Soft sniffs and whimpers come out from her as she presses his hand firmly on her own. It actually appears that she wants to feel the remaining warmth of his body for as long as she can, she wants to at least feel him like he's still alive.

"Angelie's her name. We were friends since 7th grade. Such a long story but I'll try to summarize everything for you." He breathes in as he tries to look at her, but then finds himself returning his eyes on the ground. "Well, let's just say I've been in love with her for so long, deciding to confess only around college and well, such a cowardly confession is what I've done. I was to go the United States, deciding to continue my studies there. I got an invitation from a university you see and… I was broken hearted back then, because she's dating someone else that time. Actually I_ thought _she was, so I decided to accept the scholarship sent to me. But just to make me feel brave, I decided to send her a letter just before I left. Yeah, I didn't tell her I was leaving. So there, I sent it and flew away. After that we haven't had any communication for 4 years. We didn't write letters, I never gave her my address." He breathes in with his eyes closing as he did. "And then I return back here in London after 4 years, got a job, and surprisingly, hah you could predict what happened next…"

"You were co-workers." I look at him and he nods his head, smiling as he seems to remember those days before.

"Yes, and she was my boss." He chuckles. "Can you believe that? Her reaction when she saw me was a punch in the face you know? And then she cried, cried so hard and continued to punch me and… I've learned how much time I gave up, _wasted_. She loved me all those times as well. Our friends told me how much tears she cried, _she cried a river as they would describe it._ She barely ate even and tried everything to have contact with me. She spent sleepless nights, hoping I would at least call her or send her a message. She even refused to move on another apartment because she might miss my letters.

I learned how stupid I am for running away like that. Afraid of how she was going to react, and I was even so sure it was a one sided love.

_I never considered her feelings, only my own and she suffered a more painful heartache than me_. Such a douche I was… Damn and now I'm making her cry again."

I look up at him, and then back at her. Then I remember Arthur, because come to think of it, even though I've thought about him so many times, even if I thought about what he might feel, the truth is I never considered his thoughts.

"You know friend, I regret my decision back then to run away from her and her thoughts about me. Luckily, the good Lord gave me another chance and still ended up being with her and say what? We even have kids. But then, _not everyone is given that chance_, so I'm very thankful for that…"

"Not everyone…" I repeat. I feel my heart beat fast. This feeling, this kind of feeling that's rushing on my veins, I feel like I'm supposed to do something and I know what that something is.

"Yep. Actually buddy, for me, _I rather have myself hurt than others because I know, I could still recover even if it takes an eternity to do it…" _

I breathe in heavily….

* * *

It's raining and I don't even care. I fly past the buildings, avoiding them expertly as I hurry towards his home. I don't know what to say really but well, that Matthias guy, I can't help but think of him as fate's messenger. His story was short and yet his words and his realizations hit something inside me which leaves me blasting off in the air, getting drenched but it's not like I care about that. The howls of the wind gets scarier by the second, and from below, the people had their umbrellas as shields, fighting the unseen force just to reach their destinations. The rain also is causing heavy traffic. I feel so lucky to have been gifted with wings, though it makes me non-human and be restricted with rules that right now I'm bound to violate again.

Finally, my face brightens as the building where Arthur is at comes into view. I flap my wings with extra force, thanking the cold wind that helps me glide faster. I feel excitement run over all of me as I reach his window which is widely open despite the heavy raining.

And finally I reach it. I land on the carpeted floors making it wet. I'll just apologize later for that.

A moving figure catches my eye and I know very well it's Arthur but then before I could even call his name, I stop myself when I see him talking with someone else on his door. If I remember correctly, the name's Francis. It appears like he is about to leave though.

"Thanks for visiting Francis…"

"No problem, you know you could always count on me mon Cheri." Arthur smiles genuinely, oh how I've missed seeing that.

"Yes, thank you." Francis takes Arthur hands on his, and he holds it, his thumb gently rubbing on Arthur's skin. I can't help but feel a pang of jealousy with it. And the way he looks at Arthur, there's not doubt about it…

"There you go, you're smiling again! Thank goodness, at least I made you smile countless of times already. Keep that up for me if you please…" He smiles brighter with a nod of his head. "There you go. You look much more beautiful when you're like that."

"Spare me the compliments frog; I'm not a girl to be told that." And those green eyes roll at the other who only chuckled, ruffling his hair in the process without the other hand letting of Arthur's own thin ones. I watch them have their talk, feeling depressed more and more. What if I'm already too late? I swear, oh I swear I'm going to cry along with the heavens right now. I'll join the clouds and pour everything out.

"Well, I must be going… Can't afford to be late for my appointment. But I'll be visiting you again and will keep you company so-"

"I have work tomorrow Francis."

"Oh, yeah… But I'll still be visiting sometime! Till then _mon cher_i…" And then I froze, my eyes widening as he kisses Arthur's hand , though Arthur may seem disturbed than flustered by it. He quickly pulls his hand away though, but still it doesn't mean that…

"Idiot, I told you to stop doing that." The French man only laughs at me before messing his hair and finally leaving with the promise of returning back.

As the door shuts, Arthur stands there without moving, staring at the back of his hand which was recently kissed by the other. He looks serious, a frown on his face, his eyes are hidden behind his bangs. I couldn't see his whole face except for his lips and the frame of his specs. Why does he seem down? Why is he suddenly quiet? Should I, leave now? Maybe.. I don't know what to think anymore… But then I decide to take one step forward nearer. I already made myself visible to him, but he remains oblivious to my presence. It doesn't seem like he's going to move any minute as he is currently swallowed by his own thoughts. I decide to bring him back to the real word though and let him notice me. I take another step forward.

"Hey…" I say with the softest tone, a small smile, a real one is painted on my face. He looks up at me and immediately his eyes are open wide. He even blinks a few number of times. "Hey Artie… How are you?" At first he doesn't say anything, he continues to just stare at me, his feet advancing a step but then he hesitates.

And when he finally finds his tongue again, he only got very few words out.

"You're… back…"

* * *

**Yes I know, my chapters are getting shorter and shorter and I don't know why lol.**

**wOOO. Had to find something to depress me but wasn't able to so the drama isn't quite satisfying... let's wait for my exam results before I begin the other chapter! XD *That would be the most effective way to depress me and make me write dramatically.***

**yeee~ Thanks for the support up until now! wohooo! Suggestions are welcome! Violent reactions? Go! XD**

**Just to clear some things, yes Arthur is wearing eyeglasses and the story takes place at the year 2000-2001 ahohoho. Don't like 2012 XD**

**The story will have at least 3-4 chapters to go... about to end errmhergerd. Unless I feel like complicating things more :P**

**THANKS! XDDDD R&R *bow***


	16. Chapter 16

**ERRMAHGERD! Thanks for the awesome support guys!**

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"You're back…"

"Yep." I smile at him, looking straight in his surprised eyes.

The rain is getting stronger by the second, the window still is open and the water touches us every time the wind howls in my direction. We're still pretty far away from each other, with him standing a few feet away from the door, and me at the other side of the living room by the window. Eventually though, he snaps away from his shock and walks towards me. I watch him slowly pace around the sofas before h finally reaches me nearer, and he stops maybe just a good of 3 rulers away, a hand placed gently on top of the furniture he went around at.

He is about to say something to me for his lips open, but he is cut by the blinding bolt of lightning that illuminates his dark home for very few seconds which is of course, followed by the drums of thunder. The way he looks at the floor as the lightning strikes, I could tell he also has noticed that I didn't cause a shadow and it is confirmed as another bright bolt flashes in the sky. The thunder immediately follows as always, and this time it pulls his senses away from the floor and into the window, closing it shut along with curtains which he makes lose of the string that holds it on the side. And then he turns around and walks to me, looking at me with worried eyes.

"You're soaked." He touches my shirt and water crawls on his hand before dropping down the carpet. I chuckle with a hand rubbing the back of my neck.

"Well, sorry about that." I say apologetically. Well, I guess I won't be allowed to hug him in this state. He sighs and shakes his head before letting go.

"I'll go get a change of clothes and a towel. Wait here…" He walks away and disappears in his room with a frown.

Damn is he angry at me? Why am I even asking myself that, of course he's angry. After telling him _things_ that concerns the both of us and then suddenly flying away, disappearing for weeks leaving him dumbfounded and confused, then suddenly turning up at his home, smiling like nothing happened and wetting his carpet, of course he is angry! I sigh as I silently wait for him to appear again on the doors. He's taking a bit longer though, maybe a hard time finding clothes for me considering that his body is slim and me being a little muscular (not to brag or anything). Actually he doesn't really need to find clothes for me since I never get sick. Angels never get sick even if you put us in the middle of the dessert at night naked, we will not catch a cold. But I'm happy though, because at least he still worries for me. Nonetheless I still decide to knock on his door since as I've mentioned, he's taking too long, and of course to tell him not to bother anymore. Besides, my explanation comes first right?

As I raise my hand though, the door opens revealing Arthur with a towel and neatly folded clothes on his hand, the other on the door knob. Our eyes meet, but he immediately breaks the stare as he pushes the clothes on my chest and then after, pushes my inside his room. "Go change in there. Those clothes are too big for me so maybe they'll fit you. Just tell me if they don't or you find them uncomfortable. I'll be finding another." He then shuts the door.

I let my eyes wander all around his room, as I breathe in, the familiar scent of roses linger around. It's been a long while since I've been here and it sure feels good to be back. I laugh at myself after realizing how I sound like someone who ran away from home. Oh well, I better get changed as to not keep Arthur waiting.

I gently lay the clothes on the bed before taking my clothes off. I dry my hair first with the towel since my hair keeps on dropping water all over my body, making all my efforts in drying my body go to waste. As soon as I am satisfied, I take the shirt first and spread, pulling the shirt's short sleeves with my fingers. I know this shirt pretty well and so I smile. I've seen Arthur wear this once when he's asleep and the blankets are pushed far away at the end of the bed with his feet. I feel my cheeks grow hot as I think about the image, it was truly a sight to see with Arthur laying there- I immediately shake his image away from my mind as I finally decide to put on the shirt. The pants come next after; they're just the perfect fit though I haven't seen Arthur wearing this yet. Maybe his waist is too thin for this that even a belt would be no help. It falls until below my knees, imagining Arthur with this, I bet it would reach up to his ankles.

When I open the door, Arthur rises up on the couch and looks at me from head to toe. Still not smiling, he compliments me and asks if I feel alright wearing those. I give him a thumbs-up and a smile. And then he takes my own clothes away from my hand. "I'll take this to the dryer. You can sit here and wait; I'll be making coffee afterwards." He vanishes in the laundry room.

He appears in an instant again though, but as he walks to the kitchen, he doesn't even turn to look at me. He just walk straight pass me. I watch him of course and I know that he knows that my eyes are digging into him. But unlike before, he doesn't question.

The clinks of the cups and the kettle are all that is heard aside from the constant clashes from the clouds, and the sound of water hitting the window. I grow uncomfortable, also itching to talk to him I decide to start the conversation.

"That's Francis right? The man a while ago by the door," I pause. Why the hell is this topic the first one I brought? Shouldn't I be apologizing first? Damn, jealousy got a hold of me before I knew it. I take a deep breath in as I try to stop my voice from shaking. It seems that talking about him isn't really the best for me. "..the one who, uh, kissed your hand and all… You showed him to me once in a picture, remember? You said he is your best friend… Is he really just your friend?" Holy—Why did I ask that? I have no right to ask that! I'm making it obvious that I am jealous over him and-

"He is."

"Really?"

"Why are you even asking?" He asks in a gentle manner, but I can sense his irritation. He doesn't seem to be angry though and there's no change in his physical behaviour. I can't see his face as his back is turned while preparing the coffee.

"I'm just curious since… you look like lovers a while ago. He kissed your hand and…." I bow my head down to stop myself from saying more. "Sorry… I'm so sorry-"

"Sorry? For what? You were just asking, there's nothing to be sorry about."

"There are so many things to be sorry about Arthur!" I didn't notice my voice rise that even Arthur's hands stop from working. I calm myself down. "There are so many things that I should be sorry about…" I say with a calmer and gentler tone. I hear the clinking of the cups again, and when I look up I see Arthur with a cup of coffee in a saucer walking towards me. He places it down right in front of me as I mutter a thank you. He then sits down on the opposite decide and hugs a pillow as I take a sip.

"Is it too strong? Do you want me to put more sugar?"

"It's fine… Like always." I force a smile as I put the cup back down and relax back on the softness of my seat.

"When you left," He looks at me with his head falling on the right. His voice is smooth and unwavering. "When you left, you had no intention of coming back to see me again, am I right?" The question hurt like hell for some reason and all I can do is nod my head, my eyes looking down the half-full cup of coffee. I can't look at him with the question he threw and with my answer.

"Why did you come back then? I thought you were gone for good." He speaks in almost a whisper but he remains calm, his tone is even casual and his face looks undisturbed. I sigh and bite my lips before answering.

"I realized, I was a coward. So I returned to face them."

"Them? What 'them'?"

"Your feelings for me and your thoughts about me." My answer seem to surprise him but he quickly recovers, but the way he bites his lips and when he averts his eyes, I can tell he hasn't really got over the surprise yet.

"And… and what do you think are my thoughts? What is it that I'm feeling towards you?"

"I don't have any idea, and I don't want to hurt myself with my fantasies but I'm hoping you feel the same way…" I take a deep breath which is what I have been doing in the past minutes since this conversation started. "To put it straight, I am hoping you love me too Arthur."

Even with his glasses on, even with it reflecting the light from the city outside and from the bolts of lightning, I could perfectly see how his eyes go wide with how straightforward I am and my words. His lips are slightly parted and his arms on the pillow hugs it tighter, just like he always does before when I say something to make him flush.

"You… you blasted piece of winged-creature!" He throws the pillow straight at my face but thankfully I am able to catch it instead. "Damn it! I was trying to keep myself composed until the end and yet you… you…"

"Arthur I-" The phone suddenly rings and I hear him mutter something about whoever the caller is. He stands up to leave and head for the phone which I just find out it is moved right near the door. But how long would be his conversation in there? I immediately stand up and grab his wrist, preventing him from answering it. Of course he tries to pull away with a pissed off face but I only tighten my grip.

"Don't answer it."

"And who are you to order me around? I need to answer the phone."

"Don't answer it. You're talking to me first."

"What is there to talk about? You've said your apology and yes, you are forgiven Alfred. Now let me-" The ringing dies and he curses under his breath. He also stops pulling his wrist from my grip. "That could've been an important call you know." He says as he looks at the phone, back turned against me. "You really are an idiot huh…"

"Sorry but-"

"Sorry again? To be honest that apology of yours isn't really necessary, it isn't needed because…" He pauses as he breathes in. "Because even if you didn't return, even if you didn't come back to see me and apologize… I already have forgiven you, you know?" I stand there, holding his wrist, frozen at his words, before I could even say anything, he speaks again still not facing me. "…To be honest, when you said that you know I'm angry and pissed off a while ago, I wanted to interrupt you and say, _'No Alfred, I'm not mad, I'm not angry, why would I be? Did you really think I can be mad at you? I can't do that, even when you suddenly flew away, even when you left me alone to deal with my own regret for not doing anything to stop you, even if you suddenly appear late in the night, soaked and wetting my carpet, I can't be angry at you, I can't.' _You know why? …Because I love you. I love you, you know that? I _love you so much for as long as I can remember_. That's why I can't be mad at you. How silly of you to even think I…"

His shoulders start shaking and his one hand cups his mouth so I turn his body to make him face me. And it surprises me to see him crying, tears rolling down his cheeks like a waterfall. He's crying hard and the drops seem endless. And to make me feel worse, it's my fault. I remove his glasses instantly and place them on the table as I let go of his wrist. I wipe his tears with my hands, holding his face with all gentleness. His shoulders are shaking as he tries to stop himself from crying but I told him to let everything out.

"I'm so sorry. Damn it Arthur I'm sorry, sorry, I'm sorry…"

"Idiot, didn't you hear what I just said? Oh look what you've done, I lost my composure." He smiles despite the tears. So I hug him, I hug him tightly, my face burying in his soft blonde hair and his sweet smell embracing my nostrils. I feel him returning the hug as he cries even more, his fingers clutching on to my clothes, or rather, his clothes. But it doesn't matter.

"I love you Arthur… I love you, I'm so sorry for making you cry… I…" My hands cups his face as I lift his chin up to meet my eyes, I wipe away his tears again that still refuse to stop. "I love you and I swear I'll never make you cry again. I'll never leave you again I swear that, I swear to everyone capable of breathing, I even swear to God I'll never leave you Arthur I'll never…"

His face turns redder as he tries to look away but I keep his face close to mine with my hands. "You better not." He answers and I nod my head as I kiss his forehead.

"I promise." I whisper before locking my lips with him. It takes him by surprise, but eventually kisses back, his arms snaking their way around my neck as I pull him closer to me, my hands around his waist. The kiss is perfect, it's overflowing with both our emotions in many ways and yet it remains gentle and sweet. Our lips would move slowly, sometimes we would part to breath and eventually we find ourselves caught up again. My hands begin travelling along his back, to his face, his hair. Everywhere I can touch to feel him. He would gasp at times as he feels my fingers tracing down his back despite his polo protecting his body…

And the next thing I notice, we fall down.

* * *

I open my eyes but I didn't move from my spot as to not wake up my dear Arthur who still is slumbering peacefully, his body squeezed in mine perfectly just like the yinyang symbol. We ended up sleeping on the couch which thankfully is wide enough for us to be comfortable. The shirt that I borrowed covering his whole body as it is too big for him. The clothes he was wearing the last night though lay just below the couch. I still am wearing the pants Arthur gave me.

His home is still dark, well not too dark for me not to see. It's dim as the curtains are closed, and there are no lights open except the dimmer from the kitchen. But I do not give much attention to what is around us since the beauty beside my takes all my attention away from those. His lips are slightly open as breath escapes rhythmically; long eyelashes crisscross with each other. His hair, it's messy and seemingly untameable. Well it always is untameable but this is kind of messed up more. I can feel my own hair to be flying away in all directions as well; Arthur had his fingers tangles in them last night. I burry my nose in his hair, pulling him at the same time close to my chest. His eyes begin to twitch though, and I watch intently as his eyes begin to open. He blinks a few times before looking up at me and I smile as I land a peck on his lips.

"Good morning."

"G'Morning…" He mutters and smiles as he feels my lips land on his lips for a second. He closes his eyes once again after and buries his head I my chest. I chuckle.

"Gonna sleep again?"

"A bit…I'm tired…" He whispers, I could even feel his breath tickle against my skin. "What time is it Al?"

"7 am… why?"

"Still early…"

"Yeah…"

Silence reigns for a while as I play with his hair, twirling the strands in my fingers. I've been smiling the whole time. You can't blame me. Never in my life did I expect to be this close to him, actually, I never thought I would even make it this far. I thought my world already ended weeks and weeks ago…

"You know, you came back on the right time…." He mumbles out of nowhere.

"I thought you were asleep." He opens his eyes and looks at me with a smile.

"Half asleep…" He says and goes back to bury his face on my chest again just like a puppy, well of course he's cuter. Of course I didn't forget what he said just seconds ago.

"On the right time… What does that mean?" I ask curiously. Was he meant to do something if I hadn't come back? He takes a deep breath.

"Remember Francis?" I nod my head, frowning slightly at the mention of his name. "He… He was asking me out. I was thinking about… dating him to forget you… I thought I needed something to… you know…" And then he looks up at me, he props himself on his elbows and kisses me swiftly on the cheek. "Thank you for coming back Al…"

"No Arthur, thank you…"

As confusion paints on his face, probably not knowing why I'm thanking him, I simply smile at him and pull him closer and kiss him fully on the lips.

"_Thank you…"_

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**Woooo! Can't believe I had this done in less than an hour. Lol inspired? Nah, just trying to escape from my essay.**

**Too much... love in this chapter... and to think I haven't even experienced love myself. Ohohoho that's creepy. O.o But hey I'm only 16, I'm waaay too young for that so-called, love. I run away from it ahahahah! (I swear I have no idea where I got Arthur's dialogue from. I just typed and typed and...tada!)**

**This is done in a short period of time so yes, there are mistakes. Still, wooooo! *weirdness~* And yeah, something _happened_ bet. Artie and Al that night... But it's only Rated T, and I'm not good at writing M fics so settle with the kiss folks! Alululululu **

**2 chapters to go! Or maybe 3! Or maybe... 1...! XD**


	17. Chapter 17

**LWWY!**

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Arthur and I are having a hard time untangling ourselves from each other. My arms can't seem to remove themselves away from his body which still is snuggled close to me. It had been minutes since we woke up and we've talked about many things- Or maybe _I _talked about many things which from time to time would earn a surprised face from him. I don't really blame him though, after telling him everything I've been doing around him during the times I didn't let him see me yet like following him on his way to work and back his home, the times I would sit across him on the couch as he read his books to past the time, and the happiness I would feel when I would hear him hum or sing while in the middle of arranging books in the library. I also told him about the jealousy I would feel when the people around him hugs him, kisses him on the cheek, or simply would have fun with him. As embarrassing everything was. I didn't hesitate on telling him. He has the right to know anyway, that someone had been _stalking_ him the entire time. But instead of me being the one embarrassed about it, it is he who's trying to hide his face from by burying it further on my chest just to hide the blush that formed on his cheeks. I chuckle and try to life his chin but he then slaps my hand away. Goodness, how cute could he still possibly be?

I glance at the clock nearby to check the time; it's only about an hour and a half more before Arthur's work. I look down at him and caress his cheek. "You'll be late if you don't get up now."

"You've been saying that how many times already? And yet you never make attempts on letting me go." I laugh. It's true, what he said. In the middle of our conversations I would tell him to get ready for the day but my actions would contradict my words. Every time I'll tell him to 'rise and shine', my arms would just embrace him tighter.

"Would you like me to let you go then?" I smile teasingly and then laugh when he pushes my face away from looking at him.

"Don't smile like that."

"Why? Am I charming you even more?"

"You're too full of yourself."

"Would you like me to let you go?" I ask the question again and it makes him push my face away once more.

"I don't really mind staying like this." Another mumble comes from his lips, his voice is a bit shaky but I easily understood his words. After a few minutes of silence, I speak again, my eyes fixed on the view of the clouds from the huge glass window. An airplane passes by. What a nice day it is today huh?

"The sun's shining brightly today. I'd say, the sun's sharing my happiness." Arthur looks at me and then at the clouds. His own smile inches on his face and I feel him move closer to me.

"Don't hope it's going to stay like that. It could disappear later and rain." He sighs. "It's always like that. After a few hours of sunshine, thunder clouds would form and rain will pour heavily."

Now that was deep, and somehow after hearing him say that I feel kind off uneasy. I don't know, maybe I'm just paranoid? Scared that just like the sun, my happiness might be washed away in only a matter of moments? Fear that this warm and lovely feeling wouldn't last just like it? I'm thinking too much aren't I? I squeeze Arthur's hand tighter and I feel his eyes move towards me. I feel my smile fall into a thin line.

"Don't worry… Maybe it's going to be different today." He squeezes my hand back. I look at him and is welcomed by that comforting smile of his. I don't know how many times I've mentioned the effect of it every time I would see it. It immediately calms me down for some reason. I nod my head and the smile on my face returns as I nod my head at him.

"Maybe it will be different." Maybe it just really will.

And so we stay cuddled up for a good half an hour more before finally yet reluctantly removing each other's embrace. As I stand up, I tell him to go and prepare himself. I volunteer to cook his breakfast as make up for barging in his home last night. He didn't agree of course but a few hugs and kisses did the trick.

I've lived for so many years if it still isn't obvious, therefore I'm not an idiot when it comes to kitchen work. Not that I've been meddling with humans before. Let's just say that I also went under the period of curiosity before. I wanted to know how human food tastes and how they are able to make it so delicious.

I am no stranger to Arthur's kitchen. I know exactly where he places this and that after being here numerous times. And so after finding everything I need, I set off to work.

I did my best and it took me a good quarter of an hour only to finish and the only thing missing now is Art—Oh, there he is. He comes out of his room and his eyes widens upon approaching the table. He isn't used to seeing many dishes prepared I suppose since all he eats during breakfast is bread accompanied by his favourite tea and sometimes, an apple or any fruit he feels like eating.

Pancakes, bread with butter, sliced fruits, the scones he keeps on trying to perfect and his tea still steaming are laid in front of him.

"You prepared all of this for me?" He blinks as I pull a chair for him and make him sit down. He looks up at me. "You're going to eat too right? Because I'll feel really bad if-"

"Of course I'll eat Artie. And you don't need to feel bad about anything okay?" I pull a chair from across him. At first he looks at me questioningly but then he smiles when I set the chair just beside him. "You don't mind me moving here?" As a response, he moves his chair closer to mine with a smile.

I insist on serving him even if he refuses. He says he should be the one serving me since I'm the visitor and all that but again, a kiss sorts everything out. I would peck him on the lips and he immediately stays quiet… At least for a few minutes. But that just gives me more excuses to kiss him. Isn't that great?

"Don't you have work today?" He asks suddenly. "I mean, you have schedules to follow right?"

Goodness! I forgot all about it completely! I mentally hit my face with my palm and then my mind begins to race and dig up my assigned task for today. I hope there's none. I really do hope there's none ugh.. At this point I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment… What day is it today? What date- Darn I have one. I sigh and let my shoulder's drop, and then I look at Arthur with a frown. "I have work later." I say in a voice that sounded like a disappointed child. He chuckles.

"And so? Don't tell me you don't want to-"

"I don't wanna." I say again with a pout. "I was…planning on being with you for… the whole day." It's almost in a whisper as I say the last words not because of embarrassment but of disappointment for obvious reasons. I really was looking forward to spending time with him and make up for the last weeks I left him alone and confused. I still feel guilty really, especially in making him cry like that. The tears from last night, I would never forget. And so I want to make him happy for the rest of the day and the days to come.

"Silly Alfred." I snap out from my thoughts upon hearing Arthur's voice again. A finger pokes me in the cheeks to my surprise as I turn my head to look at him. He gives out a chuckle- oh the sweet smile and laughter- upon seeing my reaction. "Silly." He repeats. "Don't feel so bad about it. It's not like you're not going to see me anymore."

"But… It could take me hours before… Arthur, I want to make it up to you and for the time I've wasted sulking… I still feel so…" I sigh and give him a small smile. "I'm… overly dramatic am I?" He shakes his head.

"I feel the same way actually… about not being with you in almost half of the 24 hours." He chuckles again and begins playing with my hair, somehow arranging it I think by the feel of it. Some strands are still defying gravity. "I really want to be with you just as how much as you wanted to be with me but you know we can't be selfish and stop time and freeze the world just for us. Life still needs to run." He pauses for a bit, his hand still untangling my hair. "We're just very excited at the moment with each other… After all we've been holding ourselves back from another for a long time. Of course we would like to make up for precious time. We were given a chance to be together last night…" My eyes don't fail to see the slightest hint of pink on his cheeks as he mentions the last two words. "…and this morning. Let's share some of our time now to the world okay? We have all the time afterwards. And it's not like I'm going anywhere… I don't actually want to go somewhere far from you. So you don't have to worry okay?" That genuine and sweet smile, so magical that it makes my own lips curve into one as well.

I take his hand from my hair and bring it on my lips for a soft kiss. As I breathe in, his sweet, fresh-out-of-the-shower smell embraces my nostrils I almost do not want to let go anymore. "You're amazing… making me feel good and lessening the guilt I've been feeling." I whisper on his hand. "Thank you Artie."

"For what?"

"For everything." I lift my head and my smile gets wider. As I speak, my voice isn't as soft and low as before and changes into my usual loud ones. "I'll be at the Library around 6 okay?"

His voice turns into a cheery one as well as he nods his head. "I'll be waiting then Alfred."

* * *

I stretch my arms as my wings flap behind me. Another work done which means… I can now go and see Artie! I do a few more shoulder rotations before flapping my wings stronger to leave the ground and fly. I glance at the enormous clock tower, stopping just in front of the clock itself, face to face with it and admire its beauty for a minute before actually checking the time. _4:30_. Still have a few minutes but… the earlier the better right? Also, if I arrive early I could also help Arthur up with his work and that would be another bonding time with him! I feel so lively once again. Very different from what I was feeling earlier when I hesitantly parted from him to do the assigned tasks for me. I had to chase 3 kids for the day and everyone knows how hard it is to handle a kid, especially a soul kid, who can just go through walls and objects and disappear to rooms. I'm glad it's all over now.

I am just about to turn and fly to the other direction when a voice calls out my name. When I turn around, I see Gilbert coming from above and then flies lower until he reaches my level. He's not wearing his usual grin I notice. "What's with the long face?" I ask and he looks at me with an annoyed expression.

"I lost a bet with Liz and now I'm doing her work for her." He places his hands on each of my shoulders and smiles widely. "I'm so glad I've found you! Now come with me!" And he pulls me in the air with my arm. Hopefully he flies in the same direction I'm going. But still I don't like the idea of accompanying Gilbert. I have my own place to go!

"Gil.. uh, I have to go somewhere-"

"Oh come on bud! It's just a few people. Please?" He puts a pleading face, and even though it doesn't look convincing… or even pleading actually, I roll my eyes and nod my head. His throws his fist in the air and we go on faster. "You're the best Al!"

"Whatever. I'm only staying for a few minutes though, just to be clear."

"Big help still!"

"Right. Where is this anyway?" His eyes look to the sides and he bites his lips. Goodness, don't tell me he has forgotten where! Hearing me sigh though, he snaps his fingers and looks at me, grinning.

"Hah, you think I forgot didn't you?" He gives me a thumbs up. "No worries! I'm too awesome to be forgetful." I simple look at him. And afterwards he points at somewhere in the horizon and my eyes follow his finger. A thick black smoke from a bit father to where we are is mixing with the air above and without doubt it's an establishment burning. I look at him again.

"The only reason why you remembered is because of the smoke." I say plainly and he snickers.

"Dude, at least I remember!" He points out as we fly a little higher to get a better view. "And for your information, I clearly remember still all the details that _woman_ gave me!" He says proudly, a thin finger on his forehead as if to emphasize how smart he is. I clap my hands and cheer, fake of course.

"Yes! Gil knows!" I say with a roll of my eyes. I know I am not usually like this always but I don't like my precious time that's supposed to be spent with Arthur go to waste.

"Hah! Of course! How hard is it to forget a simple public library?" _WHAT? _Did he just say… Library? Oh did he—"It's not like there's more than 1 public library in the whole city bro." I stare at him with wide eyes and I could feel my heart beat faster. As I look back at the huge thick smoke it's the only time I notice where it's coming from and the only time I notice that we indeed are on our way to the Library. The shops and building we pass by are all too familiar! Why haven't I noticed!? Why!? No doubt, we're heading to the library.

The library where Arthur currently is.

Damn it! I should've noticed sooner! I should've!

There are no other public libraries around the place besides the one where Arthur works. So there's no doubt, no freaking' doubt it's the one! My eyes are stinging with horror and without any further thoughts; I beat my wings faster and swiftly go on my way. I hear Gil call out and try to catch with me but I don't care. _Damn it._ The place comes into view clearer as I approach nearer. The sound of fire and trucks and police cars, ambulances, and the smell of smoke slowly embrace me. I could feel sweat crawling down my cheeks, my neck. My body, it's all tensed. My heart seems to want to burst out from my chest and run to the place! At this very fast pace, Gilbert's calling voice turns faint until I could no longer hear him. The wind slaps me hard on the cheeks that it stings but I don't care. All that I need to is to reach the place faster than a blink of an eye… Even faster than light if possible.

When I reach the place, I hover above everyone outside the burning establishment. The fire's enormous and there's so many people being brought out from inside. People that some I do recognize. Most of them are the usual readers of the library. Some are just innocent by standers who are watching in amusement with a mixture of terror. As the whole building is eaten by flames, and as the thick, black smoke envelopes it, one can say it almost looks like hell. My eyes dances over everyone's frightened faces hoping to see that one, _that one_ and only person, hoping him to be safe. _Please… Please be… _

"Sir please! The lad's still trapped inside! Save him sir! I beg you!" An old woman's hoarse voice reaches my ears. As I look to see whose it's from, it's Mrs. Derby I find who's on a stretcher lying down but refuses to be carried away as she clings on a fire fighter's protective coat. Her face with black stains and so as her arms. Tears keep on running down her cheeks as she continues to plead. "Please, the lad is still in there sir!" She coughs and the rescuers try to carry away the stretcher but she clings tighter and fights the attempts of carrying her away.

"Yes ma'am. We'll do everything we can-"

"Hurry up! Please! If you don't go he'll die sir. " She chokes in between her sobs. "Sir please hurry…

_.._please...

..

_Arthur is still inside!_"

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**Lol, long time since my last update.. I think. Haha! wooo! **

**Gaah, forgive my mistakes and my failure for making this chapter not as intense as what it was supposed to be. T_T Just had my brain squeezed like a lemon in my Philosophy Exam. **

**Thanks for the wonderful feedbacks! And the awesome support! **

**Open to suggestions! Corrections! Violent Reactions! .!**

**I think it's pretty predictable from here though. O.O **

******One more chapter to go and it's all over!**

**What do you guys think will happen next? O.o**


	18. Chapter 18

**AAAAAAAAAAAH! I want to cry damn it!**

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"…_Arthur's still inside!" _

The words ring in my ears as I watch the flames grow bigger. _Inside? He's still inside?_ _Why is he still inside? _I leave my own questions hanging for I know there is no time to even figure out the answer. What matters now is his safety! And I know, I know for sure that _I_ will be the one who can save him. The fire is already so big that the rescuers themselves have no chance of even entering the burning establishment without being affected. All they can do is to fight the flames from the outside with all the water they need. My heart pounds harder as every second passes and my brain with only one thought running over and over again.

_I have to get Arthur out of there._

Without hesitation, I settle down the ground. My wings concealing themselves as I fold them back. I brace myself, getting ready to run through the wooden doors.

"What are you doing Al!?" I feel someone's hand gripping my tightly on my arm. I grit my teeth and turn my head around hesitantly to face the source of the voice, Gilbert.

"Let me go."

"Let you go? Are you crazy?" He rolls his eyes, his grip loosening. "Well of course you're crazy, shouldn't have asked." He answers his own question. I thought about taking advantage at his loosening grip as I pull my arm away. I can't bear to waste my time longer. But then when I did, his hand found itself around my arm again, stopping me once more, and delaying me. "Alfred! What the hell?"

"Just let me go Gil!" I shout at him, I'm losing control of my temper already.

"No way! What are you even thinking of? Why are you going to go inside when you have no reason to? Are you thinking about saving someone? You're not an idiot Alfred! You know what will happen if you interfered with someone's-" He stops, seeing my determined face. Gilbert's eyes widen for a moment, but then his lips that were open in shock quickly shut into a thin frown, his grip getting tighter. "You're kidding me." I only stare at him in all seriousness and he clicks his tongue. "If this is some kind of… joke Al, okay fine you totally got me. Now, let's go. We need to leave for the hospital."

Once more I did not reply and that is when he turned me fully around to face him. His hands on each of my shoulders gripping tightly. "What's wrong with you? Why did you suddenly want to put your nose in this kind of situation?"

"It's obvious isn't it?"

He looks at me sternly in the eye. "You've been attached to someone." I nod my head and once again he clicks his tongue followed by a question I almost didn't hear. "_Why?_"

"I'll tell you later. I am running out of time." I try to walk away but he refuses to let go, unsatisfied with the answer I gave him.

"Idiot! You know very well that _there will be no later!_"

"I don't care Gilbert!" I begin to shout. "And what a stupid, stupid thing to question me, WHY? You know very well the answers to all of your questions! You're not an idiot I know! But at the same time I'm not as well and I know very well what I'm doing!" I slap his arms away and quickly move my legs. I hear him call out to me, but as I said before, nothing's stopping me from being with Arthur, nothing even the threat of my own death. Because I know, even in death I still would love him and my heart still is with him, because I've given myself entirely to him.

The moment I step inside I scream his name. I call out to him for I'm having difficulty in seeing things clearly with the thick smoke. Hearing nothing answer my calls, I decide to walk in further, farther. Still I scream his name on the top of my lungs hoping I would hear his voice.

But what if, the reason why he's not answering is because he's already… No... No! I mustn't think about that! He's still alive. I can feel it! He is just somewhere in here, unconscious maybe, but still breathing. Still alive and only sleeping. He can't be dead, he is not dead. I won't let him die. He's not going to die because I'm here, I'll be his hero, and I will save him. I can save him I know. And he's going to live… for me he's going to live. He won't die yet; he's gonna live for much much longer! He will not die in the hands of these freaking flames because he knows I can't bear to lose him one more time, so he's going to wait for me to save him. He's…. I… Damn it.

I didn't notice the tears that made their way out my eyes, running down my cheeks. I'm crying, I've been crying ever since no one answers all my calls. All those thoughts about losing him, the thoughts about never seeing him again, of being hopeless, they're the reason for these tears.

I wipe them away with an arm and even with a shaking voice, I continue calling out to him. I walk past the huge flames that can possibly kill anyone in an instant. If I were human, I wouldn't even make it to where I'm standing right now. Yes, my skin burns and fire crawls to my body, but then it would heal in an instant as if I were never harmed or touched by the flames.

Burning wood and paper surrounds me, unknown items from the ceiling falling randomly and I'm lucky I'm able to dodge them.

"Arthur!" I call out for more than a hundredth time and as always there's no answer. As the time passes by, the longer it takes for me to call out, and as I hear no answer, I'm beginning to lose hope.

_What if… What if he's already one of those burned to ashes papers? _

No! I have to stop thinking the worst thoughts and stay focused. I need to find him, I _have _to find him! There's no point giving up!

"_..fred?_" I stop on my tracks.

Did I really just hear someone?

"Arthur!?" I don't really want to trust my mind right now. It might've been a hallucination, an illusion, imaginati—

"…_Alf-…_"

There it is again! I know I'm doubting my ears but what if it really is Arthur I'm hearing?

I walk faster, trying to get closer to the source of the voice. From time to time there I hear gasps and faint callings on my name. The thick smoke still bothers my sight as I struggle to see through it. I keep shouting his name and when I hear no one responding anymore, my heart pounds as I fear for the worst. So I call out once again desperately, hoping to hear him, to hear anything just-

"…_ugh.._" A feel my foot hit something, and along with it came a soft whimper. When I look below me, my eyes widen as I see a figure of a person lying on the floor. And without it is him, it is Arthur!

I quickly kneel down and remove the things that lay on top of him. His eyes are closed and his body limp in my arms as I try to shake him away. _Please… Please wake up._

"Arthur… Arthur please…"

"…hm?" His brows meet as he tries his best to open his eyes. "…fred?" He groans in pain, his hand tries its best to clutch on my shirt as he continues to try and call out to me. _Alfred…fred..Al..Alfred…_ He said sounding desperate like with me with his shaking voice. I take his hand on mine and guide them to my face.

"I'm here Arthur… I.. I'll get you out of here okay? Hang on, I'm here…"I place a quick kiss on his forehead before getting up with him on my arms. With a swift motion I wipe away the tears that makes my vision blurry. I stop crying. My head turns in every direction as I try to look for a way out. I've walked pretty deep in the library, and from here I could see walls which mean I am currently near the farthest back. I remember seeing an exit somewhere here before. Arthur often parked is bike at the back of the building, and he would enter and leave that way. With all the smoke though it is going to be hard.

I feel a tug on my shirt and as I glance at me, his one eye is open and his lips trying to say something in between coughs. "_…left…corner.._" He managed to say but I look at him with confusion. What left corner? "…_Alfred… left… exit.._" He coughs again and I feel his hand gripping on my shirt more, his other eye opens as well and two green orbs stare at me. "_…out…left…_" Upon understanding, I nod my head and he smiles. That smile that gives me strength in everything at anytime.

I glance back quickly not really knowing what I expect to see since there's nothing but fire everywhere. The sirens and shouts of the police and other rescuers that continue to give orders can be faintly heard from where we are.

I hear a loud cracking noise from above and just in time I am able to step away from a big piece of wood covered in flames. I take it as a cue to start and get going, to look for the exit Arthur tries to direct me.

Hope sparks even brighter as I make out a rectangular figure. I glance at Arthur who is now conscious though still limp and breathing hard with the suffocating smoke. I nod my head once again as I head for the door quickly, dodging everything that falls from above and by the side.

The moment I am face to face with the door, without hesitation I kick it open in one swift motion causing me to lose my balance a bit. But I quickly recover by placing a foot behind. I breathe out heavily. Hearing the sound of falling items behind, I quickly run out.

My knees drop instantly on the ground the moment I'm sure we're far away from the burning building. I breathe hard, my heart still pounding in my chest as a shaky sigh of relief escapes me.

"Alfred?" I feel a hand caress my face and without further thoughts I hold his hand in mine and bury my face on his palms, planting a soft kiss. Arthur kneels in front of me breathless as I am as he speaks. "It's alright… We're okay now… don't cry…"

Cry? I'm... crying?

Arthur holds my face as another begins to wipe away the tears I didn't notice before. As I look in his emerald eyes, everything flashes back to me. The precious moments we've spent together, the laughs, the crying, everything. I find myself crying harder as I pull him into a hug, I bury my face in his shoulders as his hand rubs my back in comfort.

I can still feel him. He's alive and breathing, and in my arms. I didn't lose him. He's still with me. Thank God… Thank God he's okay. _"Thank God I thought I'd lose you…" _I hug him tighter. "I thought I… I will… you…"

"Shh…" I feel him kiss my head. "It's fine… I'm here right? You'll never lose me..." He lets out a shaky breath and I feel his arms circle on my back. _"…I thought I'd never see you again as well…" _He's trembling. I hesitantly let go of him to see his face but he tries to hide his obvious tear stained cheeks when he looks down the ground. I hold his hands in mine and place them near my lips that are now curved into a smile.

A happy yet at the same time a sad one.

Why?

The reason is obvious isn't it?

Slowly I feel my own body heat up in a fast pace as I clutch his hands tighter on my own. _…I thought I'd never see you again as well.._ He said… If he only knew…

But at least he gets to see me for the last time right?

"Alfred?" He questions, probably feeling the heat from my hands. I let go of him and smiles as sweat begins to slide down my neck from my forehead. "Alfred?" He says again as he touches my face only to pull away in an instant. Am I really that hot right now? I chuckle at the alternative meaning.

"Alfred what's happening to you?" He touches my arms and it's obvious in his expression that he tries to ignore the extreme warmth in his hands. "You're… you're _burning_! Are you sick? But.." He lifts my chin to meet his worried gaze.

"Yeah… I'm sick… What's it called again? Fever?" I laugh but he obviously finds nothing funny in what I said. "I'm fine Artie… Just-" A hellish cough interrupts me as a burning sensation erupts in my chest. I clutch my shirt tightly as I keep coughing hard. It hurts…. It hurts so much… I feel like I'm in oven and being baked from the inside. But it doesn't matter because it's me who's feeling the extreme pain of being burnt and not Arthur. If I hadn't come, he would be in this situation.

"Alfred!" He calls out as I collapse on the ground, breathing heavily. I feel myself being drenched in my own sweat as I continue to feel hot from the inside. I try my best to smile still as Arthur holds me, my head resting on his arms like a mother cradling her baby. "Damn it, what's happening to you?"

"I'm okay."

"You're far from okay! I'm not stupid!"

"ALFRED!" A different voice echoes and I try my best to turn my head at the direction of the voice. Two flying figures descend down and run to kneel down beside me.

"What happened? Why is he like this?" Liz asks Arthur who seems shocked at what he's seeing. He looks at her and blinks his eyes. I myself have no idea how he's able to see them, unless they intentionally reveal themselves to him. "What happened to Alfred?" Liz asks again and Arthur looks at me.

"I don't know…" He answers, his voice shaking once more. "I… I don't know."

"Oh I know!" Gilbert clutches his white hair in frustration, his red eyes on the ground refusing to meet anyone in the eye as he grit his teeth. "He… He saved you didn't he?"

"Gil.. Please… don't blame... him." I struggle to speak, panting every word that comes from my mouth. I look at him even if he doesn't want to look at me straight in the eye. "Arthur has… no-" Another cough makes its way and I fail to finish what I meant to say. Arthur calls my name again; his free hand removes my hair that's on my line of vision.

"I have something to do with this…" Arthur then looks at Gilbert with a serious face. "I have something to do with this don't I?"

I want to answer his question, tell him _no. No you have anything to do with nothing Arthur! It's my own free will. I chose this, I…_

"Tell me what's happening. Tell me why."

"We are not supposed to interfere with a human's death." Elizabetha speaks, seeing Gilbert has no intention on talking to Arthur. "We are not supposed to… interfere with your deaths; we're not supposed to save you humans when the time comes."

"And when you do?"

"Liz!" I try to stop her from telling Arthur more but she shakes her head at me.

"We die in your place." Arthur's eyes turns wide as he looks at me. He bites his lips and don't fail to notice the tears threatening to come out his eyes once more.

"So… I was supposed to die…" Liz nods her head. "And because he saved me… He dies in my place." Another nod from her. Gilbert clicks his tongue and stands up with his back turned against us. Clearly he doesn't want to see me like that.

I look up at Arthur, still forcing a smile through the difficulty of everything. It's a wonder why he hasn't let go of me yet knowing my body temperature. Elizabetha tries to touch my several times since they arrived but she keeps withdrawing her hands. Arthur on the other hand…

"Idiot!" He shouts at me. "Why? Why did you- Damn it!" A waterfall of tears escapes, feeling most of it land on my body even with my clothes. When your body is burning hot, it's not really that impossible to detect droplets of water touching your skin right? He hugs me to my surprise, burying his face on my hair. I try to life my arm even if it's shaking just to touch his face and wipe the tears away even if I know it wouldn't stop. He keeps throwing questions at me and keeps on calling me an idiot.

"Arthur… Please don't cry." I keep telling him, but I'm not one to talk as my own tears betray me.

"Git. You really think I could stop?" He cries harder.

"Don't… make this… difficult for me…" I caress his cheeks and smile. "At least before I go… The last thing… I.. want to see is… a smile… from you…"

"You're not going anywhere."

"Yeah… I also wish that…"

"I'm serious." He says and looks at Elizabetha. I'm confused, having no idea what he could be thinking. She looks at him with question as well.

"If…" He tries to steady his breathing. "If I kill myself right now, will he live?"

Her jaw drops, Gilbert turns around to see if he's serious and I gasp. "Arthur!" I grip his shirt tighter but he ignores me.

"I was supposed to die anyway right? So it doesn't matter right? I die he lives and everything goes back to what it should really be." He gulps, hope sparks in his eyes. _Arthur please don't do this…_

To my relief though, she shakes her head, overcoming the surprise from Arthur's words. "I'm sorry but at this point, even if you kill yourself, nothing can be done."

"But why? It's simply putting back everything to what it should be! I should be dead, Alfred is supposed to be alive, so I'll kill myself and—"

"Selfish prat!" Gilbert steps in with his fists clenched to his sides. "You really think that will solve everything? Let's say it _will_ work, what you're saying is, are you really willing to throw away the life Alfred desperately tried to save?"

"If it means he'll live then my answer is yes."

"You…" He quickly aims a punch at Arthur, lucky Liz is here to stop him and try to calm him down. Despite all the harsh words though, Arthur keeps on a straight face as tears continue to gather and his body still shaking.

"Arthur… Why-"

"I don't mind dying Alfred if it'll make you live." He whispers. I reach out to him and with my hand I force him to meet my eyes. I shake my head.

"No Arthur… You're supposed to live. You mustn't die okay... I am… fine…" I smile wider as I feel myself getting weaker as the minutes pass. The terrible coughs disappear and I feel like a wilted vegetable. But still I gather all my strength just to be able to touch Arthur.

A loud sound of wings flapping can be heard suddenly and when I turn my head, we see Ivan descending down and approach us. Gilbert stops struggling in Liz's grip as their attention is also drawn on him. I don't know what he is doing here. I thought he didn't want to see another case like this.

He kneels down beside me and looks at Arthur who doesn't seem any surprised anymore.

"Dying won't save his life." He tells him.

"I don't need to hear that anymore…" Arthur looks away, still unable to accept that fact.

"But there's another way."

Another way? Since when was there another way? I look up at Ivan who still refuses to spare me a glance. Liz and Gilbert are listening closely as well. And Arthur's eyes have its spark even if only a little, once again.

"It's simple…" Ivan continues. "You simply need to switch places with him." What? What did he mean switch places? If we switch, then Arthur ends up dying! It's all the same with Arthur's proposal!

"You're gonna kill the Brit all the same damn it!" Gilbert spats and continues his struggle against Liz's grip.

"No one will die. It doesn't work the way you're thinking it would." He looks at me then, finally acknowledging my presence. I stare up at him in silence though with an equally confused look painted on my face. "Because by switching…" He continues… "Alfred becomes human and you…" He looks at Arthur. "You will become one of us…" Gilbert reacts once more violently but Ivan stand up and glares at him. "I'm not yet done explaining."

"There's a price… What is it?" Arthur asks, holding me closer to his.

"Alfred lives, becomes human… And he loses his memory."

_No! _I screamed inside. _There's no way I'll agree to that! Forgetting Arthur? That's impossible!? Where this crazy idea did came from? _

"How about me?"

"You're to suffer the memory between you and Alfred." Ivan explains. "To avoid another case like this… It took me a lot of effort for this request be granted by the elders above. They didn't like the thought of losing another life for such a… stupid reason." _Stupid? This is not stupid damn it! _I try to speak out my thoughts but I ended up choking with my own breath.

"When you become an angel, you will be forgotten by everyone. Your family's memory of you will be erased. No one will remember you. Especially Alfred…"

"Why this kind of payment? It would've been better if it's my death."

"Being forgotten is worse than death itself… Seeing your loved ones from a far without even the slightest memory of your name… That's what hurts the most."

Arthur remains silent. I tug on his shirt and he turns to me with a smile. That smile…

My heart pounds, I can read perfectly the meaning of that smile. I struggle to reach his face once again. "No Arthur… Please I… don't want.. to forget you…" I breathe in. "Don't… do this…"

"I'm sorry." He mumbles and kisses my forehead. The warmth of his lips adds to the burning feeling but I do not care. I touch his face and continue to plead to him not to. But he shakes his head.

"I won't forget him right?"

"Yes."

"Then I agree."

"Arthur please… no!" I squeeze his arm, my brows knitting together as I try my best to bring out words from my mouth. My throat feels so dry and it hurts as I try my best to speak. Our tears meeting each other with every drop.

"It's okay Alfred." He smiles, his lips trembles as he speaks. "You'll be forgetting me so you will not have to a hard time… After all of this you'll be happy and alive. No worries. Don't you like that?"

"I.. don't…" I grit my teeth. "I'd rather die… than forget you… Arthur I love you!"

"I love you too… I'm sorry... I'll be selfish this time." He places a kiss on my lips and I could feel both our emotions, love and sadness, wash all over me. When we part, he looks at Ivan and nods his head.

_No… Please… somebody change his mind please! _I look up at Gilbert and Liz, but they refuse to look at me.. _Why? I thought they… How selfish of them… Didn't I made it clear I'm willing to accept death?_

_I don't want Arthur to suffer… I really would rather die than forget him! Is it really possible to forget him though?_

Ivan kneels beside me; his hand lifts above my forehead. I look up at Arthur, smiling despite all the crying. I still am hoping to the last minute, Arthur will change his mind.

But he smiles instead… there's no hope.

I grip his shirt tightly and bury my face in his chest. Reluctantly I close my eyes. Why did this have to happen? I breathe in his scent. I wrap my arms around him tightly to feel him.

I don't want to let go.

"I love you… Even if I won't… remember you… I _will_ love you…" I whisper to him and he smiles telling me he loves me as well… Telling me he's sorry for making that decision, for being selfish.

I cannot blame him though because I know… I would've acted the same way. Even worst possibly.

I feel the warmness in my body turn from pain to a light feeling as drowsiness takes over me.

This is it huh? This is it? This is how everything would end? The worst ending for me I must say…

I wrap my arms tighter as I keep repeating the words _I love you Arthur_ with the hope that… when I wake up I still would hold a memory of him.

The memories begin to play in my head, from this morning, to our night together, the happiest night of my life. And then the afternoon he knew about my secret, and I left him… The afternoon at the park with that cute little girl…

The moment when I asked Gilbert for a pair of shoes… The moment when I first knocked on Arthur's door to meet him again. That was the day I declared myself an idiot.

My mind played around the day when Arthur was at work in the library, and when he was at the hospital. When I was in the middle of our work and I found him. The first time I've seen him after many months.

The night when he left for the U.S. It was raining that time. And the afternoon in the park where he told me he was leaving.

And then the first time we went on that said park. I had to guide him and tell him everything I saw and then he would smile.

Oh, when I gave him flowers. He knew it were roses. How cute.

The day at the hospital when he told me he was going home since he was tired with all the check ups.

The day when I first talked to him and introduced my name… I was so scared.

And the day when I first saw _him._

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_Wait… who's him?_

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**AND THIS IS THE END OF MY FIRST EVERY FANFIC!**

**AAAAAAAAAAH! IT'S DONE RAWR!**

**I can't believe it's done. Damn it! I can't believe it's done! D:**

**I re-read all the chapter and realized how many mistakes I did! LOL! I also forgot to mention so many things but... well it was able to go by without those. hurr hurr. I plan on making another chapter where.. uh... it shows Alfred's life after this! Of course Arthur would be there watching from afar T_T**

**Many already assumed I'd kill one of them... Originally since I first started this, I really planned on killing one of them but it became obvious so... HAH! No one dies~ **

**To think I got this chapter done in less than a day... and my reaction paper still I haven't started yet. Not even my name! Ahahhaah!**

**THANK YOU! THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT! LOVE YOU ALL!**

**..."_I love you... Even if I won't remember you... I will love you._"_ - *dies* 3 3_**


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